Have to

I was writing my post about my setback after my trip, and felt and feel the need to add a page about ‘have to’. As ‘have to’ still seems to haunt me, still seems to affect me in a very negative way. And I know or think I know where it comes from, as from my dad I always ‘had to’ do all kinds of things, ‘had to’ do everything, was responsible for many things. And as I know now that is just too much for a child, affects a child in a very negative way.