So yes, many plans, many ideas, on track with my definite purpose as I have written down in my major desire document, so everything on track according Think and Grow Richand many other books and stuff about that type of thing.
But no, I don’t feeeeel it, as Lynn Grabhorn mentions so nice in “Excuse me, your life is waiting”. And I guess that’s also what’s meant in The Secret and indeed in Think and Grow Rich indirectly is meant. The passion is just missing.
I used to have passion as far as I remember, long time ago. I think until or around the time I was a teenager. So where did it go? Where did it go wrong? Where did I lose it? And yes, there were a few periods where I was excited, but as far as I remember relatively short periods. And if I read books and articles and look around me I’m not the only one, although many people appear to be OK on the outside, on Facebook. But from some I know the outside on e.g. Facebook has nothing or not much to do with their real life. Their real life is just really hard, not much fun, many worries.
And yes, be careful with thoughts and words, so maybe they are right to just ‘pretend’ on the outside, pretend everything is OK and fun. Maybe it helps to just only think and talk about the positive…
And weird, because I guess on the outside I also appear quite OK to most people. And somehow recently I’m also quite or even very happy. But my happiness is just like, well, quiet, inside. And maybe that’s ok, maybe that’s what happiness is for me.
But I miss the passion, the ‘going for it’. Somehow life has beaten that out of me, somehow I don’t want to take the risk anymore to be really passionate about it, go for it. Too many things went wrong, went down the drain.
And while writing this post I had two Skype calls which turned out very well. One with a client where I found that the client in the end had the same idea about what to do as I had and a second with Jeannette Seibly who basically just told me to stand up and be myself. So I guess that’s where this complaint post ends, with just realizing that I am good and have so much to offer, nothing more, nothing less.