If you are not successful
If you are not successful you may not be programmed for success. In the end everybody is successful in many, most or even all things they do, so if you don’t feel you’re successful you may not be programmed for it, may not have learned how to enjoy success.
And that is very easy to learn, although it may take some time before you see results.
Program yourself for success
It is very easy to program yourself for success. You may be amazed. The basics are very simple:
- Find a very small thing you think you can do and finish every day. For me, initial author of this page, it started with making the bed every day. Or do the dishes as Leo Babauta suggests.
- After having done this daily thing, just realize that you have done it and let it sink in, be proud of it.
Is it really that simple? Yes, it is. And if you don’t manage the thing you started with, just choose something smaller, until you have found something that you are finishing every day.
Start with small things
So start with small things and be proud of it. And when you are comfortable with this first small thing you can add a little thing. For me that is a daily small walk. And it was a daily blog post on my personal blog, the predecessor of this site.
Just go slow
It is very important to go slow with this, especially if you are easily pressured or if you tend to ‘beat yourself up’. Most important is that you really finish things on a regular basis and really feel good, feel successful about it, no matter what else is going on in your life. Don’t think about anything else, just park everything else if needed if you have a pile of ‘should do’s’. Just enjoy the small daily success.
And slowly you will find that you can add something or make things a bit bigger. And if they get too big, just stop, just lower down your expecations and go back to the smaller things or a smaller new thing or just be happy with what you are doing already.
That simple? Yes, that simple.
And you can start again. And I realized that most when I found out that I had not made the bed for a few days after I had moved to another room. The worst thing was that I had not even realized that I had not made the bed, but when I finally did I also realized it had been kind of logical I had forgotten to make the bed. As I had moved suddenly from one room to another with a very weird setup for the bed:
As you can see I am now sleeping in a big bed with one one side some improvised mattresses and beddings. And in the photo it looks pretty clean again, but when I moved in there was a lot of stuff on the bed where I was not sleeping, so it was a pretty messy bed and situation to live in, sleep in.
But I started again, making the bed, as I found that I can always start again, no matter what it is.
And stopped again
And I stopped again. Not easy to keep up habits when I feel stressed, depressed. And a post of a friend reminded me of my “making the bed every day” and above I see I can start again. So I guess I better start again now.
And yes, circumstances still create negativity, depressed feelings, as I can’t even make a photo right now as my smartphone is in repair. See: internal memory problem Firefly Secret Mini. Or maybe I could make a photo with my laptop. I guess I will just try in the sense of ‘not giving up’.
So I just did make a photo of ‘before start again’. Pretty messy and a bad photo with very low resolution and quality, but yes, I can be persistent:
And started again
And here the result after:
A very bad photo and I guess you can’t really see the result, but as they say, progress over perfection.
Second day of my new start
I managed again, just now, to make the bed, August 23, 2017:
And this is Thomas. You can also see him on the other photos.
And I got Thomas in a very strange way, kind of happy, but also confused. And yes, Thomas represents my relationship with Lee, maybe even more than I thought, as how I got him was part, maybe even the start, of the codependent/abusive relationship Lee and I had.
As when I just met Lee he went out to buy some food or something. Yes, from money he got from me. And he came back with Thomas. And I didn’t know what to do, as it felt like I got Thomas from myself, that Lee just used my money for something to give me, give me something to myself. I was supposed to be happy with Thomas, but I wasn’t, as I paid for him, it did not really feel like a gift. And I didn’t know what to do.
August 24, 2017
Just did it again, make the bed. And no, no photo, progress over perfection. And one day, one Step at the time.
August 25, 2017
I just managed again to make the bed, yes, in the afternoon, after attending a funeral in the morning. I am not so good in the morning, don’t like waking up early, but yes, if I ‘have to’, I will, I do, like this morning.
And I want to write a bit more, do some Step work, continue with what I started and found yesterday. And still wondering what I am doing wrong, why I can’t have what I wanted, what I guess I still want. But I kind of gave up. Can I maybe start that again also?
And what is success anyhow? I always wanted it, but I didn’t reach it (yet?) and I don’t even know what it is anymore (for me).
September 3, 2017
And yes, I continued making the bed the last few days; did not miss a day, even though today I did not do it yet and it is already 8.30 pm. But I will do about now.
So yeah, I guess I am on the way up again, on the way to success or whatever.