You need to change
“You need to change”, that’s what I’ve been hearing all my life, I guess mainly through self help books and sites, through the companies I worked for, from my partner, in seminars and other courses I followed.
And I’m tired of it and this morning I just realized it’s bullshit. Who would ask a stone to change, or a molecule, or a dog, or a house, or an ape, or the moon or the sun, or, or, or. “You need to change” sounds like “You’re not good enough”. And that’s just bullshit. Did I build myself, make myself? Maybe. But who are ‘you’ to tell me that I need to change and that I’m not good enough? Do I ask you to change?
My self help program
And related to the above I have been thinking about how my self help program would look like. As basically Inspiration for Success is kind of a self help site, a self help project, even though I don’t, didn’t want it to be like that.
And I’m not sure where you are of course, where you stand. And why you would be reading this or be looking for some kind of advice to ‘change’, to improve your life, to improve the world, or whatever. But yes, I would be happy to share my knowledge to help you improve your life, achieve your goals, do whatever you want to do in life.
And indeed, that’s what many people somehow still don’t manage to achieve: a happy and fulfilling life. And yes, including me up to this moment, no matter how much I know about these things and am still researching and learning about it, about how to live life and be happy. Because i guess that’s what we all want in the end, be happy.
So this morning I was thinking about this ‘change thing’ and I realized that i don’t need, don’t want to change myself, but that I just want to change my circumstances. I realized that I’m just not happy with where I am now, with my circumstances right now, and that’s what i want to change. Not myself, if that would be possible at all anyhow.
So how to change my circumstances. Well, that would take some action I guess, some action from myself to initiate things would be the easiest I guess. As that’s what I somehow control, my own actions, my own choices. Simple, isn’t it?
Well, not so, as somehow there is still some world, some reality around me that seems to have it’s own way of doing things, reacting to things. And that’s where it gets frustrating, or maybe a better term, confusing. As no matter how much I do my best, try to do the things that are ‘right’ in my opinion to influence the world in the way I intend to to achieve the desirable effect I’m looking for, often the world or others still react different to my actions than what I expect.
And i think the ideas of Abraham Hicks about ‘allowing’ come closest to in the end achieve what I want, what you want. And I’m starting to get a bit how this works, but I’m not there yet.
Anyhow, so the last few days, weeks, I’ve been thinking about how my ‘self help’ program would look like. As there are many things that don’t seem to work for many people after following these programs. And don’t get me wrong, I believe that many of those programs have the best intention to help you, to help people. And maybe they do. But until now it didn’t help me and reading around a bit it doesn’t help many other people either.
So what to do. Well, create my own ‘self help program’. But different of course. But that’s what all those other people also started with i guess.
And maybe the thing to start with, the first thing to state in my self help program, my happiness improvement program, my ‘achieve success’ program would be stating that
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
So maybe the first exercise would be something like repeating a hundred or a thousand times “I am good enough” or even writing it down and/or repeating it aloud, also a hundred or a thousand times. And maybe there would be nothing else even, as maybe this is what it’s all about. Just accepting ourselves, nothing more, nothing less.
And this implies that the other is also good enough, so problem solved. Everybody is good enough and does his or her best.
Nothing more to say.