“Nothing lasts”, that is what the documentary I was just watching about Tom Ford ended with. And I was watching, or kept watching, as I am still kind of jealous of people who are successful in life, or appear to be successful in life. And yes, I often measure that in fame and money as that are things I don’t have and would like to have. Or at least more of that. So also, yes, the negative emotion of jealousy came up again I guess, as somehow I am jealous of those people who are famous and/or rich. And it seems those often go together even though I know that’s not true, or not always true. And begin that famous is probably, or almost certainly NOT what I want as being that famous probably means you don’t own most of your own life anymore, although somehow I do want to be that famous, like that famous that I would be known all over the world. But after that, after being there you can’t go back, you can’t go back to being private again. After that probably all over the world people would recognize you, so you wouldn’t be able to move around anymore, kind of anonymous, which in the end I prefer.
So I guess it’s about the money in the end. That’s basically what I miss most, what I want most. Just enough so I wouldn’t have to work anymore, or at least wouldn’t have the feeling I have to work. And somehow I know this doesn’t really add up, as most of my life I have worked hard and it didn’t really bring me money, especially the last ten years. Last year I think it was even the opposite, or at least the second part of last year, as my working actually has cost me money as my business was losing money. So if I hadn’t had this customer that didn’t pay I might have had more money now. So money and hard work are not always related, although I still believe that it pays off to work hard, or at least that hard work is one of the things that brings in money in larger quantities than if you wouldn’t work hard. But there is more to it, as I know that most of my life I worked hard and long, and it didn’t bring me the money I am talking about. So there is something more that is needed to get money from work. Or a lot of money from working hard. And I’m not fully sure what that is, but I think it has to do with personality and character and/or also with inspiration, with working inspired, in an inspired way.
So how to go on now, as I don’t know how to inspire you to make more money if that is what you are looking for in this page. As I still didn’t figure it out yet. And that’s also one of my problems with ‘success’, with ‘successful people’. Because it’s so easy to talk about success, how to do it, how to get there when you’re already there. But what about those people like me, and probably you, otherwise you might not read this far, who didn’t make it, didn’t make it yet, neither to success or fame or whatever they want or wanted in life. That’s still one of my biggest problem with success stories and telling other people how to do it, how to get there. This even applies to Think and Grow Rich, as of course the stories and samples in the book are somehow self fulfilling prophecies: this guy or girl got what he or she wanted and did this and that. And this one didn’t because… Yes, because of what? Isn’t there some element of luck? And no, I don’t really believe in luck, same as in all those books and what all those gurus tell us. I do believe there is something to being successful, getting what you want in life. But then still, why am I not there yet? I think I did and do all the things that are needed to be successful and I still don’t have my Pajero and I still don’t have enough money to retire, to do what I want without worrying about money, without worrying how I will survive next month.
But somehow that’s the same for everyone. And somehow that’s also what Tom Ford says, what I referred to at the beginning of this post: nothing lasts. So it doesn’t really matter what I have or who I am (in the eyes of the world, in the eyes of others). Nothing lasts.