There is still a text from yesterday that is in my mind:
“Your greatest value to others is when you are joyful. Your greatest value to others is when you are connected. Your greatest value to others is to be radiantly healthy. Your greatest value to others is when you are happy. Your greatest value to others is to have and to be and do all the things that are very important to you. And as you are living that and vibrating that and oozing that and radiating thatthen you are a catalyst that is inspiring others to an awareness of that.” – Abraham Hicks
And I believe or am starting to believe that this is very true. However, to implement these thoughts, these ideas are not that simple. At least I am finding out that I am so conditioned with all kinds of things that are ‘right’, right in the eyes of others, right in the way I was raised, right according to my parents, right according to the law, right in what we all consider to be ‘right’.
And I am starting to believe that this ‘right’ is not right anymore, even though it has brought humanity very far, all those rules all those ‘ideas that work’. But do they work? Or do they work always?
For me personally I have always worked hard, or at least tried to do that as I thought it would bring me happiness and yes, money, freedom. And I am still working hard, still trying to ‘earn my living’ by working as that is how the world sees how it’s supposed to be. But it doesn’t and didn’t work for me, because looking back I have forced myself into jobs and worked according to the rules of my bosses, the system and it got me kicked out of my job several times, hurting me a lot. And it wasn’t because i worked hard, because I did work hard. But it was because I was me, or tried to combine those things. And in the end it didn’t work as I couldn’t find a job anymore, but I didn’t even really wanted that anymore as bosses appeared not to be happy with what I did or how I did it.
And yes, my ‘forcing’ before did bring me a lot as I earned quite some money, had a company car, was able to travel the world and was able to live a happy, luxury life. And yes, I miss that a lot. And to be honest I want that back, that freedom of having money. But the way i did it didn’t work, so I don’t want to go back forcing myself doing things that are or were expected of me, or the things i thought that were expected of me.
So what to do, as it seems the business world, the money world, the areas were money is to be earned doesn’t suit me, or i guess actually the other way around: I don’t fit ‘the system’.
And still, I’m trying hard to fit in, as slowly I started to need the money, not to just to the fun things, but just to eat, just to survive. But I learned to live from day to day, from moment to moment, not to worry too much about the future. And I’m much happier with that, much happier now.
But I’m still not sure how it will turn out. I’m trying to live more like myself and basically it feels good. But not having the ‘receiving’ part is hard and i really would love to travel again. have a car again, renovate the house so we can invite guests again and indeed, also provide everything with food, with nice things.
So how to do that, how to receive? And pass on, let it flow?
Time will tell.