Mmm, this dog thing takes its toll from me and I am not fully sure how these type of things affect my success. As apparently I am very emotional and cannot control my emotions in situations like this, like when a dog is sick, life threatening sick.
Also some positive things today, as I found some solution related to my anger and fear of my God, resulting a a real and honest prayer asking if Ulla could stay at least a little bit longer with us. And somehow the prayer was answered as Ulla didn’t puke anymore today, even though I am still very scared she can’t keep the food in or the food might not be processed further down her digestive system.
At the end of the day a pretty devastating message from a friend of mine who wants to stop participating in the DoctorsConnect project. And two other team members not replying to my request to confirm a meeting tomorrow, something they also didn’t do before.
And thinking about being responsible as a leader for the mistakes of the followers the last made me feel pretty bad as apparently my skills for leading a team, or maybe just letting them do what I want them to do, don’t seem to have improved yet.
But while writing the above I am asking myself if it is really a (my?) mistake people not wanting to participate in my project. I mean, what is the mistake here? Yes, I was apparently not able to induce these people in participating, so that may be a mistake. But having a team with people who don’t want to go for it is probably certainly not a good solution either.
Anyhow, I feel a little like ‘back to square one’, something my original team member mentioned last week to me.
And asking myself if really all projects start like this, with people backing out, dropping out, before really taking off.
Or just be courageous and just continue, no matter what?