I am more and more amazed with our laws and justice system. As I made some big mistakes around two years ago, mistakes I wouldn’t even known how how to avoid at the time. And I am still being confronted with the results of these mistakes. And the strange thing is that nobody got hurt even, nobody was affected in any negative way, maybe even the opposite. But still, they were mistakes against the law and also against my own laws, my own conscience. So looking back the only person who got hurt was me. And yes, some other people might be affected also in the future, but hurt? Not really.
And this situation makes me think of the story in The Shawshank Redemption. Where one of the main characters asks himself what’s the point of locking someone away for ten, twenty or more years, where for most people the relation between the offense and the punishment would be completely gone after, well, I don’t know after how many months or years. And I think this is so true, even though I guess I underestimate how bad people can be. And yes, looking at myself, would I make the same mistake again? Well, in the same circumstance probably yes. But I would be much more aware of the consequences. As you can’t image how I have suffered, no not through prison or some other legal measure, but through my own conscience, going against my own laws, going against all I believe in, or actually believed in.
And of course I am thinking of coming clean, reporting the mistake I made to the authorities. But I am scared of the consequences. As I have a lot to lose and I believe any punishment would just put me further down. And I guess my crime was not so bad it would put me in prison. But still, I’m not sure, even though I did do research on the punishment for this crime. And a maybe worse alternative punishment would be a fine, as I already have enough financial things to solve. So a fine again would put me further down instead of up.
So I have been thinking a lot about these things, like suppose I was a murderer and my conscience was haunting me. And I would know one day the police, the legal system would find out. What would I do, what would you do? Go to the police and report your crime? And be locked up for a very long time? And losing everything you have? But then again, who would gain from that, someone being locked up for something that already happened and that he regrets a lot. And something he already suffered a lot for, as I am quite sure similar to me this person would have probably punished himself through his consciousness and the feeling how bad it was what he has done.
But yeah, how would you make the difference between someone who has already suffered a lot and someone who really ‘needs’ the punishment, really needs to be locked up. As he or she may hurt others again.
So why do we lock people up? Why do we punish people? What’s the use? And what’s the alternative?