Well, ten minutes ago I still felt like nothing to write here as my mood was very bad and I felt very stressed as I had felt the whole day, no matter what I did or tried to do or tried to think or whatever. So I thought ‘one of those days’ while searching for the daily quote. And somehow I still try to stick with decisions about what to do on a day, no matter how little I plan. And the last few days I wasn’t really keeping these promises even, so tonight, late tonight, I still decided to somehow finish some report that was overdue already for weeks. And I really planned it yesterday, although I did not really ‘decide’ so I had kind of a way out. But today I had promised myself to do it like some real decision, so I had no real option not to do it based on the habit I developed around ‘deciding what to do on a day’.
So what can I learn from this, what can we learn from this. Well, not fully sure, but my habit to ‘finish things I planned on a day’ is a really strong motivator. Somehow I have developed that habit. And it is related to ‘stick with a decision when you have made it’. So those two are really powerful things, even though I use them with a lot of care. But that’s also what it’s actually about I guess, because I am much, much more careful what I decide than ever before and I am much, much more careful what I plan for a day. At the moment I’d rather plan nothing than plan something I won’t finish. So I am looking to ‘extend’ this habit to bigger things. But I know I have to be very careful with that as I think in general I tend to put too much pressure on myself and/or plan too much.
But looking back to the last few months I can really recommend to ‘start small’ with this type of thing if you want to. As of now I think it is much, much more important to stick with decisions no matter how small or unimportant and stick with my daily plan no matter how small than to plan too much and finally fall back to something like ‘doing nothing’ or ‘feeling bad’. So yes, while writing I realize I really developed a habit about daily planning and decision making. And it all started with ‘daily making the bed’, which I think I have done now for almost a year and I never skipped, except maybe on one or two very weird or unusual days. And ‘never skipping’ may mean I make the bed at eight pm or so. But I do make it.
So back to today. Today I basically tried everything to relax a bit, to be a bit happy. And until like half an hour ago it didn’t happen, I didn’t manage to change it, no matter how hard (or not hard) I tried. So I stayed stressed for most of the days as I hadn’t felt stress in a long, long time. And looking back I also still wouldn’t know how I could have changed it earlier. So maybe this is indeed ‘one of those days’ where nothing seems to work, where nothing good seems to happen, where no matter what you do or read or know or whatever, you stay in this very bad mood, in this very stressed feeling.
But now, fortunately, it did change, although while writing this still a little stress comes up in the background. So yes, when you’re in that mood, maybe just stay in it and accept it. Because even knowing that it will be over some time didn’t help me today. But now, right now I know I feel better, quite a bit better, although still not good.
So things will be better. They always will be.