Well, I’m in a weird phase at the moment. Many things kind of came to a stop in kind of a ‘finished’ state, like ‘nothing more to do’, like ‘I’ve done my part, no ‘someone’ or ‘something’ needs to do the rest. But while writing maybe that’s what my whole process of the last year, or even of my life until now was all about. I’ve done so many things, ‘fought’ so hard for all kinds of things, mainly success or money and recently relationship. And now slowly I have something like ‘I’ve done enough’.
So maybe indeed let the Universe handle things now a bit more. Maybe indeed I do deserve a bit of rest. And no, I don’t want to stop working, doing things, hell no. I’ve been there around ten years ago and when I started working again around eight years ago I was so happy having some purpose in my life again. So no, I still want to do things. But as of now I don’t know exactly for whom or what, but I do know I planted many seeds, so hopefully something comes out of it. Or actually, logically speaking, something ‘must’ come out of it.
Anyhow, actually I just wanted to let you all know that today I was really happy. It was one of the first times i roamed around in the mall and in City Hardware enjoying all the stuff there, even though i don’t have the physical money at the moment to buy anything, although I could still use the credit limit on my credit card. But that’s not the point. I was just happy seeing all this abundance, just wanting it, just allowing myself to want it. And it felt so good. And I realized that I have been limiting myself, that I have always thought like ‘it’s too expensive’ or ‘I (or you) have to work hard for it’. But I’m starting to realize that’s not true. No one can work for all the abundance that is in the world today. No one could hardly ‘make’ one simple little thing that is for sale in shops. So it’s not in how much you earn or something. We and all people before us and maybe even ‘nature’ before us made it possible that we have all those things today and can just go to a shop and ‘buy’ it.
So I’m starting to believe more and more that it’s about finding ways to distribute all the stuff we are capable of making (and owning, using). And maybe indeed just ‘allowing’ ourselves to want it, to own it, to find a way to ‘get it’, ‘receive it’.
And I’m still not fully sure how that ‘receiving’ exactly works, but there is much more to all those things I read related to things like Law of Attraction than i initially thought.
To be continued…
P.S. And yes, I somehow felt tired today. But not so much anymore. So I’ll write about that another time.