Tag Archives: Words

Another post

Already for a few days I wanted to write something else than about the self analysis questions so just now I decided to do that just now. And the funny thing is right now I don’t really have a subject in mind where the last few days I had. And right now I am even distracted as I am working to understand how to develop (Android) apps, something I didn’t do for a long time: learning a new programming language and/or tool. So not sure if that’s a good thing, but at least I’m excited to know to learn that, even though it is costing a lot of time to get started, as usual, but this time even more than usual as the setup of Android programs appears very weird and complicated at first.

But I know I will learn fast and soon I won’t know any better. And yes, of course I am thinking of complaints again, as to me these things are big things, things like learning a new software framework. And I never understand why people, especially commercial people, are so easy on that, as it is a big investment, at least to me.

Anyhow, I’m tired and don’t really feel like writing here, but at least I’m having fun and am learning something new, something people have been pushing me for for a long time: apps.

Strange day

It was a strange day today for several reasons. The first was that I skipped my Inspiration for Success activities last Saturday, something that happens rarely. And I could have done it relatively easy, but I just didn’t feel like it, set some other priorities. And I felt a bit bad about it, but somehow when I was out with friends Saturday evening I decided that was more important. And when I came home I decided that it was just too late or that I was just too tired or whatever.

And I am a little bit worried about it, as recently it happened a few times that I didn’t do my daily Inspiration for Success things as I am scared that I am not disciplined enough anymore. And there may be some truth in that, but I also know that sometimes, or maybe even often, I am overdoing things.

The second reason for today being a strange day was that I felt pretty sick again. Not really sick like the beginning of last week, when I really felt like having fever and needed to rest, but my head just feels like being filled with cotton buds or something and I can’t(?!) really keep my mind focused on things like work; or writing blog items.

And more reasons I don’t really know anymore as I just feel too sick, too lousy to continue with this post. So let’s just call it quits and do better tomorrow.

Hesitant

I was a bit hesitant to click ‘new post’ as I have no clue what to write right now. Related to this site my mind is much more to finishing the inspirational and motivational sites pages than writing posts. And I should(?!) take a break and do something fun, but actually I am quite happy working on DoctorsConnect, my new project. And I am still working on the new site for the SEMP Association, but that took and is taking a bit more time than I expected.

So well, yeah, quite busy with things, but it would have been nicer to also work on some real customer stuff (the SEMP Association site I do as sponsor) to have some more budget for fun things, but well, if it isn’t there it isn’t there and it gives me the time now to focus on DoctorsConnect and I think I came quite far with that already, as the whole foundation is there already and it’s pretty stable. The difficult part (for me) may be to make it a bit (or a lot) more user friendly, but in the end I think reliability is very important, even though I have learned that ‘time to market’ is also very important.

So well, we’ll see, but I have the feeling I am quite close to have a first version of the system ‘in the market’ soon. And that makes me very proud.

Happy New Year

I don’t believe so much in things like New Year anymore, like having New Years Resolutions, although Napoleon Hill recommends doing things like that. But the new year is around fifteen minutes old and with all the fireworks it is hard to ignore. So yeah, why am I writing right now? Shouldn’t I be with family or friends? Well, maybe I should, but with so little budget and hardly any friends and a relationship that could be a bit smoother and easier I didn’t really feel like celebrating New Year with friends or family or inviting friends or family here. And I don’t mind so much, although of course I would have liked to really celebrate this New Year and Christmas, yes, also with friends and/or family.

And I am thinking now how to continue. As part of this whole thing, probably even including this whole site, goes probably back to my codependency, to my codependent behavior. And what I hear now, especially in the weekly meeting of a Codependents Anonymous group, that type of behavior is pretty destructive. And I guess you can find much of that in this site, especially in my posts, hopefully more in my older posts and less in my newer posts. But that’s not the subject I wanted to talk about, although one of the things in my mind is that I guess there are many people who are or feel alone with these days, especially with these days, where most people seem to have a very happy time with friends and family.

So especially with these days around Christmas and New Year I guess there are pretty many people who are alone; or feel alone; or feel more alone. And I guess there are also quite some people who just don’t like these days, who just want to do something else. Or who don’t know how to deal with it as they don’t have the budget or the friends or the family to celebrate as they wanted to. And as I indicated I am one of them, as I don’t feel it is right to visit family right now because I am really tight on budget. And it has been for very long already, so I think most people don’t even believe me, but it is still true, at least for me. And I decided to change something there and I changed it a bit, which is one of the reasons I don’t want to go, but it is still hard to not just borrow again and go and have fun as my partner wants. And friends nearby, well I guess they don’t really know I would have liked to be invited. And I didn’t know how to invite them and involve them in my budget issue.

Anyhow, I am pretty much okay here kind of alone as my partner was supposed to be somewhere else but came back, which kind of confused me and also stopped me from making other plans.

So well, not sure what is inspirational in this post. Or what my real message is. Ah, yes, I wanted to say something like ‘please think of those people who are alone and such’, but that sounds so corny now. And I am not sure if it is even true.

And yes, it was kind of weird the last few days, as I was mainly just working, just doing my normal thing. But that was also what I wanted, as I am working on an exciting new project and also wanted to finish anther project that is starting to take too much time, especially too much lead time. And shouldn’t I just do what I want to do and not what others think that should be done, like celebrating holidays ‘because that is how it’s supposed to be’? And as indicated, I would love to celebrate, but it just doesn’t feel like celebrating, so why would I annoy myself and others with actually wanting to do something else…

And yes, I guess I will still kind of follow the suggestion of Napoleon Hill about my progress (in life?), even though I have other dates for that. But I realize I skipped most of those dates for thorough analysis, so maybe this is just the right time, like tomorrow or this weekend. And maybe also something to add to the Inspirational Tools, some kind of table where you can follow progress in your life, like analyzing things how Napoleon Hill suggests somewhere in Think and Grow Rich.

So am I doing okay, regardless the fact that I didn’t achieve the success I am looking for and have been working on seriously for about two years now? Yes, I think I am, as I learned a lot and somehow I have the feeling I made progress, quite a lot, somehow, even though I can’t exactly pinpoint how and what, as my situation didn’t really change. But I guess somehow my perception changed. And I hope also my attitude, as the last seems to be very important for achieving success.

Anyhow, I wish you all the best for 2015 and if this site, my writing and such, is contributing or has contributed to that, please let me know. That would really inspire me to do more.

Forgiveness and success

Well, yesterday I decided to skip, as I was about to go on holiday. And right now I don’t really feel like writing, but maybe just share that I did manage to connect to internet and I think managed to send the first batch of the daily quote sending. But I am still tired of the trip as I did not really sleep last night and only an hour or so around lunchtime today. So I guess I will forgive myself not to really write a lot today, but I guess I did well by just connecting to the internet, finding a quote, sending it and writing this.

So that is some kind of success.