Self analysis, question 4

“Are you sarcastic and offensive in your conversation?” certainly applies to me, or at least applied to me as I think I made quite some progress with that after I found out there was something wrong with that. As I thought I did that because I wanted to make other people think, help them, help them improve themselves, but I am starting to see that that behavior has everything to me and also is offensive to other people as I don’t appreciate who they are, don’t accept them as they are.

And recently I am often wondering when and where I developed that behavior and it must go way back as I know especially my dad didn’t understand why I was always against everything, took the other side.

And the reason was very simple, as I am good at playing the devil’s advocate. Or I was and I liked it, just to sharpen my thinking, like looking at all the arguments from all sides. But slowly I am starting to realize there may be much more going on around that, that I indeed have lost myself somewhere on the road, some very long time ago. And that my very well go back to that same dad who didn’t understood who I was, what I needed, what I wanted.

So yeah, some work to do, as I still don’t know who I am and that may just be exactly the reason why I have not been successful until now. As I probably have just been trying to live someone else’s life, the life of what society expects from me or something. And that obviously doesn’t work, at least not for me.

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