Today was just another day. But while writing this, I realize, that a while ago I wanted a more ‘normal’ life. So at least the working for the last days has been back to ‘normal’, as I have more work at the moment than I can finish in a few days. And of course that’s a good sign. But still, I miss the budget to just go out, meet friends, have some small holiday. And somehow I believe life is supposed to be different, with more ups than I feel I have had.
But yes, it seems I’m on the right way though, even though I’m a romantic and still longing for that love and affection that I guess everybody is longing for. That would make life so much easier, and yes, actually it did for me. And yes, that’s also what Napoleon Hill states, that every successful person has this love type thing that drives him or her.
So how come we often mess up this love type thing? I still presume most people are the same like me, just looking to hold, to be held and have erotic and sexual experiences with their partner. But somehow that appears not be as easy as it sounds. Somehow emotions are standing in the way. As I don’t see that many relationships that really thrive, that really make both partners happy. And no, I somehow don’t agree with the statement that you need to be happy first yourself and that love and sex add just additional happiness, are just bonuses. I believe that people just need love (and sex) and affection. And that if those basic needs are not met, one cannot be happy, or at least it is not very easy to be happy. Of course unless one is into high level meditation and such.
So no, I don’t have all the answers. But recently I started to look more and more at my partner and started to try to understand him, even though often I’m fully lost with how he behaves and especially how he treats me. And some friend of mine often points out that it’s all about perception. And I think I’m understand a little more of the perception of my partner. And from that point of view it’s pretty logical how he reacts, what he does. And no, I don’t fully understand how he deals with some basic human needs. But it must mean there are some things in between that are larger than that. So these things must be pretty big. And maybe hurting him more than me.