I was a bit wondering about the progress I am making with my internet project here in Mindanao as there were no final agreements with the person I had quite a long talk with this afternoon. But yes, he seems to be interested, must be interested, is interested, as we had a long talk and it was all about the project, the business I have in mind. But he is key and I consider him more important, bigger than me.
And somehow there I make a mistake, as I had a similar feeling with someone else who offered to see me in Manila the first week of August. And I told him something like that, that I was honored that he wanted to meet me. But who am I that I would be lower, lesser than someone else? And who would be someone else that he would be higher, more than me, than you?
But still, I feel it. Still I have the feeling that people who are richer or more successful or more famous than I am are ‘more’, are ‘better’ than me. And I guess, or actually I am sure, that I am not the only one who feels like that. And it doesn’t make sense, as in the end we are all equal. In the end we all came into this world as a baby human being. And we all did our best to, well, live life or something. And some are indeed more ‘successful’ than others. But what is success anyhow and who decides? And who decides what is important in life? And if I failed, and I feel I did, in life, so what? Am I in control of everything that happens to me, around me? No, not really. Or yes, spiritually somehow.
But still, I have no clue how to deal with that feeling of ‘being lower’, ‘being less’. Even though rationally it doesn’t make sense, isn’t true.
Looking forward to your opinion on this.