Author Archives: Guus

If I had known what I know now when I was eighteen

Yes, that has been in my mind for a while, if I had known before what I know now, like if I had known everything I know when I was eighteen I’m quite sure I would be rich by now and have a better relationship and all the things I want or would have wanted.

The weird thing is that i could still have it as I’m only fifty years old and presuming I can still easily reach eighty or more I have plenty of time to get all the things I want or wanted. But somehow something changed in the meanwhile, especially something like there are some things i don’t want to give up on, mainly some commitments I made.

So logically the whole thing doesn’t add up as there are many things I don’t have right now and I want and I just don’t want to go for it the same way I would have gone for it when I was eighteen.

And I wanted this post to be something inspiring, like something ‘you can have anything you want’ for people who are eighteen now, but it seems much more interesting for now to analyze a bit more what’s going on or what has happened to me that even though I kind of know now that I can have anything I want, still, I just don’t want it, even though I’m starting to believe more and more that I can still have it. But I want it in a different way, not in the way I would have wanted it when I was eighteen.

So what’s my message to young people now. I think the main thing is something like ‘be patient’, don’t grab things as they come along. It seems when you are young you tend to grab things if they are good enough, or at least I did. So it could be personal, but somehow I have the feeling it’s not, somehow I have the feeling it applies to many people what i am experiencing, what I am talking about now.

So what do I not want to give up. Well, mainly my relationship. I am very committed to my relationship, even though I know it’s not the best in the world. But as of the moment my plan is to make it the best relationship in the world and not changing partner, which rationally would probably be much easier, much more preferable. But I don’t want to. I chose for this person and I believe in ‘for better or for worse’, I believe in a lifetime relationship. And yes, this may be personal. So looking back, what would I have done differently? I guess I would have not let myself guide by my emotions so much, like being in love and go for it, again, as rationally that’s not the wisest thing to do. And while writing and thinking the main thing I think is that I don’t want to give up on me, on myself, on my belief that a relationship is for life. I guess because somehow has been and still is the biggest value in my life.

So advice for young people: just give it a little more time, or a lot more time. You have a lot more time than you think and taking time to find the right partner I think now is a much better way than giving in to the longing for love, sex, relationship, partnership.

So what else would I have done differently? Well, I guess I would have planned my life a bit better. Same thing, in certain situations, in certain periods in my life I was defeated, felt I had nothing left. So I grabbed the first thing that was available to get out of that unwanted situation. I think with what I know now I again would have given it a bit more time. Or would not have given up anyhow, would have turned the situation around, no matter how bad it felt or was. And recently and at the moment I’m actually doing that. I didn’t give up so easily what I thought I lost and it seems I’m succeeding in what I wanted, what I want right now, by just not giving up.

So going back to begin rich, yes I believe that I would have been rich by now, really rich if I had known what i know now when I started my career. Again, same thing, I would have been more patient, would have planned better, would have listened to myself better than listening to my parents and the people around me about what i was supposed to do with my life, with my working life, with my career. And yes, I know now i”m quite slow with those things, was and am quite naive. But looking back I should have taken some more time do ‘do nothing’, check what I really wanted, learn more on how to get rich (through work), really focus and plan.

So where does that knowledge come from I have now and didn’t have back then. Well, mainly from the ideas in Think and Grow Rich I guess. And it must come from much more, but it all kind of felt into place with Think and Grow Rich, or actually finding myself in the same situation almost a year ago from ten, or now eleven years ago. And I didn’t want to repeat that. I wanted better.

So indeed, I guess it’s something like really wanting something. And for me it was that I wanted my relationship to work this time, no matter what. I wanted it better, perfect, no matter what. And that brought me where I am now, from a completely hopeless situation where I had lost everything to a situation where I have perspective again, including these ‘impossible’ things I don’t want to talk too much about as they are quite private. So I can confirm to never ever give up, no matter how bad the situation is. If you really want something it’s possible.

And I think I need some more time and space to work on this further, to convert this into a more readable article for young people, or for people like me one year ago, or for people like me right now.

As related to the last the question is of course how to get from where I am now to that situation I had in mind when I was eighteen. How would I do that now? Rationally I’m quite sure that’s possible, however there are some more hurdles than when I was eighteen, or at least I feel some more hurdles, mainly commitments I made to other people, but looking further of course they are commitments to myself. And there are some things that seem harder. One main thing is how to meet the right people. That has always been an issue for me, but living in the place where I live now that seems quite impossible. And again, while writing that it’s not true. Yes, it would be easier to meet the right people in places like New York, the western world, but the city where i live now has still half a million inhabitants or so and the capital with 12 million people or many more is only one and a half hours flight away and there are many flights every day. And i don’t want to move, but I’m certainly willing to travel and I’m starting to realize that many people, business people, don’t like that and would be happy if I do that for them.

But still, I know what I want now, much, much better than before, much, much better than in any period in my life. I just don’t know exactly where to start, how to make the right connections.

So still something to learn, still something to think about.

But for you, if you are eighteen or anywhere between eighty and forty or so, just be a bit more patient, don’t grab the first thing that passes by and looks a bit or a lot like the thing you are looking for, the thing you really want. Just think it over and be careful with emotions, especially emotions like falling in love, maybe not only with another person but also with a job or a business or whatever else you are sensitive about.

So I guess that’s also what I still have to tell myself right now, just be patient and take a bit more time until I’m very sure that the thing that passes by is really the thing I want, not only now, but also ten or twenty years from now.

Law of attraction and stuff

Leave a reply

So this morning I was reading again in Lynn Grabhorn’s book and found there is a lot of Law of Attraction stuff in there, more than I read before. And something about the thirty day program and energy flow again.

So somehow I decided to start my own thirty day program today and find some positive focus area for today, which I decided would be my left hand. Not sure why, but while looking at it it’s really amazing, a hand. And it’s with me for fifty years already and I realized it is being renewed every seven years as that’s the life span of cells in a body if I remember well. So it’s not the hand from seven years ago, it’s a completely new hand, except for the nerve cells as they don’t renew if again I remember well.

So while thinking about my left hand I realized there must be something bigger creating that. Or not really ‘bigger’, but some kind of force, some kind of consciousness creating something like a hand. Amazing.

So who or what is ‘creating’ actually. Again, a very weird question. And indeed, it’s not the ‘ego’ that’s creating. Or is it? Is there just ‘one’, ‘one consciousness’. And is there also just one ‘ego’? I guess so, but then why split up? Why split up in something like six billion ‘beings’? Or even split up further as there is much more in the Universe and everywhere than I as a human could probably know or imagine?

Yes, really amazing, just a left hand and something like ‘being’, something like ‘creation’.

Giving what you have

Leave a reply

Well, it seems that I’m still trying to give what I don’t have. And of course that doesn’t work. So how do I give what I do have and that would make other people happy? Maybe the most important thing I don’t understand is what I have, what I have to give. And related to that I’m trying to give what I need, what i want. But still, what I’m reading is that you have to give before you can get or receive. So maybe I just don’t understand that or misinterpret that.

I had some experiences though with giving something very small that made people very happy and giving very big things that don’t make people happy. Like what’s easy for my is difficult for other people. And while writing this I realize that there is some sentence in Think and Grow Rich that is just about that. Something like don’t measure things by your own standards.

So for me it’s pretty easy to write a post like this. Or do almost anything with computers. Or do things with networking and routers. Or drive a car. Or building custom made websites for which over the years I, together with staff, built a pretty amazing web development framework for.

And what I need and want is my partner loving me like I like to love him, have money to buy a car and invite people and travel and, well, i guess that’s about it. I don’t need so much. Ah, and yes, just have some money or a ticket to visit my mam, visit some customers in The Netherlands and maybe meet or find some business partners in The Netherlands. So the last may be easy for other people, people who might find it difficult to deal with computers and websites. Or drive a car or something. Or being loved, being hugged.

So how to make that happen? How to find the people that need what you have and easily can give and can give what you need or want? Ah, yes, that’s maybe where the money comes in. That’s why they invented money.

So maybe I’ll just look for people who need or want my services and have some money to pay for that. Maybe it’s that easy, although then you end up with sales and marketing and that’s just phrases, words I don’t like. Even though I know I can be pretty good in sales. At least if I believe in the product.

Well, inspiring, this post? Not really sure, but I guess it’s better than most of the complaining crap I often write.

So if you need a good search engine friendly website or some web application or your computer fixed up, at least the software part, just let me know.

Busy or not busy, good or not good

Leave a reply

I am busy and not busy and I’m trying to do good.

Just miss traveling, miss being alive.

So found a lot of weird quotes about busy on BrainyQuote.

Live should be lived, not survived.

Complaint with passion?

Leave a reply

I’m a bit in complaining mood and a bit lost with the Law of Attraction. And I’m a bit lost with all the self help type sites I signed up for in relation to this site, to the site Inspiration for Success. You see, I wanted to do something different with this site. Not doing the active selling of products like many of those sites do that i signed up for. You see, as of the moment I get like five or ten e-mails per day that really provide some useful information, some inspiration, something that makes me feel like clicking on the links, reading more. But at the end of the day all those e-mails seem to be focused only on selling something, same like all the ‘free’ items I can download or read. And don’t get me wrong, nothing wrong with that. And maybe it’s the only way or the best way or something to have a successful internet business. But I wanted to do something different. Writing with passion to inspire people, and then indeed, when these people, when you, would really feel to have gotten something from me, have achieved something because of me or because of this website, I would have liked or would like that you would indeed pay me.

But it seems that’s not how life works, or that’s not how business works, or that’s not how internet business works, or that’s not how the internet works. And then indeed it seems I’m not a businessman, maybe too much of an idealist, a dreamer. And it also reflects in my business, in my personal life.

And then they talk about giving. That the only way you can ‘get’ something is by giving. Or by helping other people achieve what they want, get what they want.

And they say that you reap what you sow, that you get back multiplied what you sowed.

So I must have given very little, or have sowed the wrong things. And yes, looking back at my life, maybe I took too much. I had all the holidays and the fun earlier in my life.

But somehow it doesn’t add up. I still don’t believe I’m that bad that I can’t even support myself, let alone the people who depend on me, who are around me.

And they say it’s all about passion, about doing what you love, doing what you’re passionate about. Well, most of my life I did the things I liked to do. And I guess I did it with passion. And also the last few years I think I ran my business with passion. I liked the work I did, the things I wanted to achieve with my business. And it all fell apart. And I know a bit why, but I still don’t fully understand why it all had to fall apart, why it was not appreciated what I did. And yes, I made mistakes, big mistakes, but still, it doesn’t feel fair.

But indeed, who said life is fair? And in a way I do believe it is.

But it’s time for something better, to enjoy life again, to go out with friends, to have some time off and go out, have a holiday, relax. But I don’t see how and as of now I still don’t see a way out, although I started again and won’t give up.

But it’s not easy.