Everything seems to go better and better and still ‘little’ things can upset me very much, while I thought I could deal with ‘little’ things quite easily.
I have been out for a few days and just turned on the two computers that serve as my main servers in the house and the office. And it turned out that one of them, the one holding most of the data, didn’t start. It starts buzzing and it seems the disks and everything are running fine, but it just doesn’t ‘start’. And this made me very anxious (again). And especially the ‘being anxious’ annoys me as I know it’s not needed to be anxious as it’s actually not needed to be anxious about anything in life. Rationally of course.
And again, the whole thing goes back to fear, I think indeed the biggest enemy of success (and happiness). And it’s related enemy of success indecision.
You see, this whole computer thing can be easily solved, because I’m 99% sure that if I bring it to the computer shop tomorrow it will be fixed either tomorrow (Friday), probably otherwise Saturday and at the latest Monday. And most of the data I keep in duplicate, so I can do almost anything i want, even without this computer holding most of the data. So actually I already decided to just maybe first do a small check myself tomorrow morning and if it doesn’t work after just bring it to the shop. And it will be 99% sure back on Monday.
So what makes me anxious with this computer thing. Well, just thoughts like ‘it is my main server with most of my data so if it falls I may lose all this data’. And while writing this it seems this is even the biggest issue. So well, it could happen. But it’s not very likely. And even if it does happen, the data would probably still be there. And even if the data would be lost, I would still be able to work. So that’s all.
And yes, there are some more thoughts like that I’m just annoyed that I have to spend time on this while I have planned some other things. And that I probably need to pay the computer shop an outstanding amount which I don’t have the budget for right now.
And next to the anxiety about the above, the whole thing can be solved in one second by just deciding ‘I am going to check it tomorrow for maximum thirty minutes and if that doesn’t work I’ll bring it to the computer shop after lunch’. And then decide to leave it like that, finish.
And you know what’s the worst thing? I don’t even need that computer right now as the other does all the work I need to be done right now as I’m just using the internet and that’s just working. And I don’t really need that computer tomorrow as I’m quite sure all the work I want to do can just be done on the other computer.
So yes, all this anxiety and annoyance is just created by myself, by my own thoughts that trigger feelings and emotions. And as I said, the worst thing is that I even know that. And yes, I could just check that computer right now, but that just doesn’t make any sense and it would just be to ‘calm my mind’, not to really solve something.
So what’s inspiring about the above? Nothing I guess. And how is this related to success? Well, not really, at least not directly. But it is related to my mood and happiness as the whole thing makes me feel very stressed and basically makes me feel unhappy.
And as of now, now, now I can’t really figure out how to get rid of it except than realizing that this feeling is something I don’t want and try to figure out what I do want: feeling relaxed. And this helps right now, a bit.
So for you, well right now, just realize that above process may also apply to you, that your thoughts just can create anxiety and unhappiness while rationally that just doesn’t make any sense and is not needed. So just try to snap yourself out of it if you’re in it.