Tired again. And a bit the feeling I’m back to square one, even though I am quite sure some things have changed, but not the most important things. And this morning I read my desire document again, which gave me hope and courage, but right now, late in the evening and with another day I was out most of the afternoon I am very tired again, and a bit in a down mood also, especially as I did not stuck with a decision I made about two weeks ago and broke a promise to someone.
But maybe this is just the right circumstance to answer the question “Do you choose, from your daily experiences, lessons or influences which aid in your personal advancement”? And I guess the answer is ‘no’ as I often don’t evaluate days. Mostly I am just tired, very tired, at the end of the day. And mostly I am dissatisfied at the end of the day, as it seems I don’t make any real progress. And of course that is not true, but often it just feels like that.
And I am just tired of people often telling me that I have a negative mindset. And maybe I often talk about things negatively, but I also know I am doing an awful lot of things, put an awful lot of effort to make things work, probably more than most other people. And that is why I feel so frustrated, as I believe I deserve more, but maybe there is indeed something like Infinite Intelligence, or God, that in the end decides who gets what.
And I don’t regret my life and the choices I made. I just feel treated unfair (by life), that’s all.
So what lesson or influence would I choose today that would help me in my personal advancement? Well, maybe that I am still very impulsive and when I feel cornered I take any opportunity that looks somehow feasible, the thing my partner often calls ‘you grab anything’.
But what if you feel you don’t have much options (left)?