Tired and confused

I am tired as I was out most of the day and found only little time for myself. And now this post is the last thing of the day and I don’t really feel like writing it as, again, I’m tired and just want to go to bed and sleep.

And I just got annoyed as I got a reply to a personal e-mail with kind of the message how co-dependent I am and pointing to the page co-dependency. And I recognize most of the stuff and to most of the questions my answer is ‘yes’. So  I must be pretty codependent. But it makes me angry, as who is to decide that my behavior is not okay? Do I need to be ‘average’ and does averageness make one happy or more happy?

And yes, I know I am unhappy, very unhappy, very unsatisfied with my life. But what would be this program or advice be different from any other?

So again and again I am reading I am doing things wrong, which translates to me as that it’s all my fault and that I should ‘change’, whatever ‘they’ want me to do. And yes, I read everywhere that my intentions are good, so what should I do? Go for bad intentions? And you think I don’t consider that? You think I don’t know how to get what I want by threatening people or something (‘they’ call it setting limits, but to me it’s just threatening people, using power). Or just go and steal stuff I want and need? Yeah, of course I would find ways to get what I want, of course I know ways.

But until now I still prefer to go for the ‘good’, do the things that feel right to me, even if it hurts me.

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