So today I had another accident. So how to make something inspiring from that? Yes, I got up quickly, looked at myself, saw the wounds were not that bad as before, saw that the motorcycle was still running, got myself together, got the motorcycle up, gathered the things that had fallen out and went back home.
So yes, they say no matter how often or how hard you fall just get up and continue. And it was easier than before, somehow, for me, as I had been there and nothing really serious had happened to me, at least at first sight.
But still I felt stupid, felt hurt, not only physically but also emotionally. I know I choose to ride that motorcycle as I don’t see any other option to move around conveniently, even though I know it’s dangerous. But it’s no fun actually. It’s just how it is and I don’t know how to change it. And I don’t know how to prevent falling again. The stupid thing is just dangerous. Or use other transportation, but that’s also dangerous and much more inconvenient.
The worst was that I got a whole sermon at home that I need to change. That this kind of thing is part of my pattern. That somehow I do it to get attention, no not consciously, but unconsciously. That I really need to change something here. And believing indeed that things happen because you attract them also made me think. And yes, I know I have to change some things. I know things happened just before that probably triggered it. But still, I don’t know how to change it, how to change.
And I can’t get the lesson from it. Yes, be more careful, drive more slowly, be more focused. But those are only words, I don’t really feel it. I can’t get to the actual lesson and my partner seems to feel it and is annoyed with it. Well, don’t you think I’m annoyed with it? And if I only knew how, of course I would change it straight away.
So yes, I’m way too hard on myself again I guess. And yes, somehow I’m playing the victim here still. But somehow I also feel like I am changing, do improve things, little things, but still, things.
And I need to stop that ‘improving things’ means that there is something wrong with me. Or is there? Napoleon Hill also states something like that in the end of the book Think and Grow Rich, to check what’s wrong with you as otherwise you would be successful, would be in the place you want to be.
Confusing.
So how can I be inspiring here? Or can I?
I know many people, maybe you, would be affected a lot more with an accident like this, while to me it was ‘just another accident’, I got up and rode away. So yes, no matter if you’re hurt, either emotionally or physically, you can just get up and move on, provided you were not hurt that bad that you can’t move anymore.
And yes, somehow I’m determined to do better, make things better, no matter what, even though it hurts and please don’t underestimate how hurt an humiliated I feel at the moment. And physical wounds heal, although sometimes they leave a trace. And emotional wounds also heal I guess, although I want to be very careful stating things about that.
But the lesson I’m still not fully sure of. Maybe I can find someone who is already successful (as I have in mind) say something about that. To inspire me, maybe to try to make clear or clearer to me what’s the most important lesson I have to learn.