Self analysis, question 24

Today a big step forward with DoctorsConnect and also a lot to tell, but I am not in the mood for a random post so I’ll just continue with my self analysis. And today’s question is an interesting one, at least for me: “Dos anyone ‘nag’ you, and if so, for what reason?”.

And the first thing that comes into my mind is “yes, my partner nags me” and the second thing is that I have no clue why, even though lately I think I have a better idea about the reason or reasons than before. And the third thing that comes into my mind is the question if my mam also nags me. And then of course the next question would also be ‘why’.

And talking about the reason I think the answer is that I don’t stand up for myself, that my self confidence is very low, especially when dealing with my partner. So it seems that somehow I am (still?) setting myself up as a victim, meaning my partner can’t do anything else than overrule me, overpower me.

And this is strange as I thought my self confidence increased a lot over the last few years where before I even presumed I had a pretty okay level of self confidence. As in general I did and do my own thing and don’t bother so much about what other people think. But as said, that’s what I thought. And right now I am not so sure anymore as it seems that most of the things I do, most of the thoughts I have are about what other people would think if I do this or that.

And still, of course it is natural that we humans are mainly focused on what other people think. And that means, at least in our own mind, that we are thinking about what other people think or would think. As in the end the whole world, humanity, is about interacting with each other. So other people are important.

So that is still the main subject of being human: the relation between me and the other, the relation between inside and outside.

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