Today feels like the right day to continue with the self analysis questions and today’s question is “Do you face squarely the circumstances which make you unhappy, or sidestep the responsibility?”. And I don’t like this question as I have the feeling that I am indeed sidestepping the responsibility for the circumstances that make me unhappy. As yes, I am mostly still very unhappy, even though tonight I felt okay, probably because I made some decision I did not like to make related to my DoctorsConnect project. And the strange thing is the decision makes me kind of feel relieved, even though I don’t really like all of the consequences that come with it, but at least I have the feeling now that I can move on where until today I felt stuck with one of the team members not performing.
So yes, it seems that facing the circumstances that make you unhappy (and dealing with them) helps make one feel better, as I am feeling a lot better. Still, there are quite some circumstances I don’t want to face, kind of avoid. And I am avoiding them because I don’t see any solution, at least not a solution that fits my goals and dreams. Still, the situation doesn’t get any better, so somehow I have the feeling I am doing something wrong.
And yes, again the word responsibility, a word that I don’t fully understand as often I keep hanging in blame, blaming the Universe or God for the bad circumstances I feel I am in.
So no, I don’t face the circumstances that make me unhappy squarely and yes, i guess I am sidestepping the responsibility (for the circumstances). And I always want solutions, but maybe I should just stick with the analysis for now, the admission that I don’t feel responsible for my circumstances or have all kinds of excuses to avoid responsibility for them.