Tag Archives: Question

Self analysis, question 48

Today’s question is an interesting one to me: “By what rules do you judge who is helpful and who is damaging to you”? And I never really was explicit in answering it, so this may be the time.

And strangely enough nothing really comes to mind right now, so this may be a big opportunity to make progress as the question, and the answer, may be very important.

And maybe nothing comes to my mind because I wouldn’t consider people helpful or damaging. Or at least I can’t really imaging why people would (want to) be damaging, so I kind of implicitly presume everybody would be helpful, or at least not damaging.

But when writing about it I know there are people helpful to me. And I know there are people damaging to me.

And I keep turning around and around right now. So who would I consider helpful? Well, I guess people who would help me find work, or find a partner. Or people who would listen to me and/or give me advice.

But again, the last is not really a good answer, as advice, read ‘opinion’ is easily given by virtually everybody. So what would be good advice? Well, advice that would help me. But with that answer the circle is closed again, as what would be helpful to me?

So what would be damaging? Well, I guess people doing me physical or emotional or financial damage. And there are a lot of people out there who at least would want to do the last in exchange for their own personal gain.

And well, I am really stunned I don’t know anything more to say about today’s question. So maybe for the next few days I should ask myself about everybody I encounter whether I would consider them helpful or damaging, and maybe more important, why.

Self analysis, question 18

Ah, question 18, the one I took a deliberate peek into yesterday: “Are you careless about your personal appearance? If so, when and why?”.

And it is good to write it down, as I did not fully realized what was in the second part of the question. I read something like “If so, why?”, but the question is a bit more specific.

And personal appearance in this way is something I encountered long time ago, when reading about relationships and stuff, like most people being more relaxed or even worse when it comes to personal appearance at home, especially if you have been married for a long time or have been in a relationship for a long time. And what I remember from that book or wherever I read that I remember that it is important to still take care of yourself and present yourself well to your partner, even after a long time and even though you know each other already for a long time. So that idea has been with me for a long time, even though I don’t fully follow it always (or mostly don’t?).

So the answer is something like “yes, I am careful with my personal appearance, but I am not always making sure I appear as good as I could or may be appropriate”. And the when, I mean when I am not careful with my personal appearance is something like when I am at home or when I am with friends and when I feel comfortable with people. And the why is because I prefer to wear comfortable clothes, meaning shorts, a t-shirt and slippers.

And I feel a little uncomfortable right now, as there is much more to this story in my case and these things always go back to something like “I did, but it didn’t work out or I think it didn’t work out”. And at the moment I don’t feel like having the funds to buy the clothes I would need for certain occations or the clothes I would like to wear.

And writing about this always makes me sad, as in my opinion I did an awful lot of effort to ‘follow the rules’ and I always have the feeling that my effort didn’t pay off, at least not in the way I wanted to or expected to. And that is also why recently, the last few years, I have become more relaxed again with my appearance, even though I mostly dress up for business meetings and such.

But going back tot the question, no I am certainly not careless about my personal appearance. But I am tired of putting effort and having the feeling it is not paying off, the feeling that nothing is coming back.