Tag Archives: Sad

A bit sad

I am a bit sad as one of our dogs seems to be very sick. And she has been sick for quite a while, but today she couldn’t eat anymore, at least she didn’t keep anything in her stomach and she was not able to walk properly as she is very weak.

And I know she is getting old and I knew for quite a while she was not okay, but I felt there was nothing much I could do. But today it hit me a bit as ‘if I would have had more money’ I might have had a car and would have followed up with the vet earlier.

And no, I guess it wouldn’t make that much difference and yes, I asked the vet to come over tomorrow, but still.

Just wanted to share and also that I decided not to write last Saturday as it seems all so pointless as I just can’t get this site going.

Anyhow, today a little sharing and a post again, so I am still moving.

And yes, Ulla gave us a lot, but still sad to see I can’t do so much as of the moment.

Self analysis, question 18

Ah, question 18, the one I took a deliberate peek into yesterday: “Are you careless about your personal appearance? If so, when and why?”.

And it is good to write it down, as I did not fully realized what was in the second part of the question. I read something like “If so, why?”, but the question is a bit more specific.

And personal appearance in this way is something I encountered long time ago, when reading about relationships and stuff, like most people being more relaxed or even worse when it comes to personal appearance at home, especially if you have been married for a long time or have been in a relationship for a long time. And what I remember from that book or wherever I read that I remember that it is important to still take care of yourself and present yourself well to your partner, even after a long time and even though you know each other already for a long time. So that idea has been with me for a long time, even though I don’t fully follow it always (or mostly don’t?).

So the answer is something like “yes, I am careful with my personal appearance, but I am not always making sure I appear as good as I could or may be appropriate”. And the when, I mean when I am not careful with my personal appearance is something like when I am at home or when I am with friends and when I feel comfortable with people. And the why is because I prefer to wear comfortable clothes, meaning shorts, a t-shirt and slippers.

And I feel a little uncomfortable right now, as there is much more to this story in my case and these things always go back to something like “I did, but it didn’t work out or I think it didn’t work out”. And at the moment I don’t feel like having the funds to buy the clothes I would need for certain occations or the clothes I would like to wear.

And writing about this always makes me sad, as in my opinion I did an awful lot of effort to ‘follow the rules’ and I always have the feeling that my effort didn’t pay off, at least not in the way I wanted to or expected to. And that is also why recently, the last few years, I have become more relaxed again with my appearance, even though I mostly dress up for business meetings and such.

But going back tot the question, no I am certainly not careless about my personal appearance. But I am tired of putting effort and having the feeling it is not paying off, the feeling that nothing is coming back.