I still don’t know what hit me. It must indeed be something like ‘negative focus’ as Lynn Grabhorn describes in her book (see my previous post and the one before that). Somehow indeed I must have been focusing on ‘don’t want’s’. And how to turn it around, as also now I feel like I’m spreading negative energy like hell. This whole site is about inspiration, a very positive thing, and I’m just spreading negativity. So how can this ever take off if the initiator and the leader of this project is so negative? And that’s exactly the negative spiral I feel and the most stupid thing is that I KNOW what’s going on and I just let it happen.
And not only here, but also in my work, friendship, and if i look more deep in all areas of my life? I see what’s happening and somehow I’m not stopping it, somehow I have the feeling I can’t stop it.
But again, that’s also exactly what this site is all about. Books and stuff are so easy to read, but when you want to put things in practice sometimes it’s not that easy anymore. And maybe I should give myself some credit, because
also Lynn Grabhorn describes a very long down period in her life similar to the one I’m feeling myself right now. And also Napoleon Hill writes somewhere in Think and Grow Rich that most or even all successful people go through heartbreaking periods in their life and that even the ‘down point’ is actually the way to their success.
The weird thing is here that I am actually using the whole thing to be successful as this is supposed to be a real time success story. So this is actually very good if I read all the books: my down period should be the jumping board to my success, and that’s exactly how I got my idea for doing this whole thing live.
But it’s not funny. All or most success stories are written by people who are already there, who have left behind their struggles, their deepest points. And I’m in the middle of it, and believe me, it’s not funny. I just feel shit.
So I hope, and I should not ‘hope’ according to all the stories, but just ‘persist’ that in the end I can look back on this whole thing as really being the road to success, to get the one million dollar and such. But believe me, it’s not funny right now and I really feel shit, really feel down.