It seems something amazing has happened to me. As where before I tried to finish the things I planned for a day or the things I promised, now I actually do finish them. Or at least do them. And I even finish things that somewhere during the day appear impossible. Like when a week ago the electricity went off somewhere in the evening, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to finish my posts. As often when the electricity goes off at that time it will be somewhere the next morning when it is fixed. So I somehow accepted that I couldn’t finish the things I had planned for the day and went to bed. But the electricity came back around 5 am the next morning and somehow I noticed and finished my posts at that time. And it felt a bit like cheating, but of course it wasn’t.
And today I had a similar experience as I had planned to work on a letter, preferably finishing it. And I didn’t know where the draft was and I needed that draft to at least do ‘something’. And I couldn’t find the draft where I expected it to be, so I felt kind of desperate, but somehow it showed up and I was able to work on it and produce a ‘final draft’, which was within how I stated what I had planned to do. And it feels like Infinite Intelligence is starting to help me with this, as normally I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to finish my posts early in the morning, like being aware the electricity was back and act on it, or just find this document where it was not in the place where it was supposed to be. And right now I can’t even recall where I found it. It feels like it just came to me so I could finish it.
So no, I’m not happy, I’m not there yet. But no matter how bad I can still feel, something seems to have changed, for the good.
And remember, this all came from my deepest down one and a half year ago and with starting making the bed every day.