I gave so much

I just had a very weird experience as it seems that I relate my ‘I gave so much’ to something like ‘I gave so much in suffering’ or ‘I gave so much and did not receive enough in return’. So somehow I relate the ‘giving’ as mentioned in Think and Grow Rich to something very negative, to things like suffering or things I don’t like.

I guess the quote “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” from Martin Luther King, Jr. did something to me, as it seems I often tend to drive out darkness with darkness or hate with hate or anger with anger or dissatisfaction with dissatisfaction or stress with stress.

The last happened to me this morning (again?). I often feel stressed as there are a lot of things I feel I should do. The ‘actions’ Napoleon Hill talks about add even up to that. And I still don’t have a good plan, I’m not good at planning, at least that is how I feel. And this whole pile of things I want to do or have to do is often so big that I don’t know where to start anymore and just ‘wait’, feel kind of paralyzed, just think, without action. And then I start feeling guilty again of being paralyzed, not knowing what to do.

But in the meantime I also know I’m kind of doing the right thing, as this waiting and thinking probably in the end points me in the right direction and everyday at some point I start moving and do a lot. So again, it’s all in the mindset. Why should I feel guilty for being who I am? Why should I feel guilty needing some time in the morning to get going?

And I was shocked a few minutes ago that I didn’t put a post yesterday on the site while I was quite sure yesterday that I did, and I did work on the site yesterday quite a bit. Again, guilt came up, although it’s kind of OK with me now that I now skipped one day of posting. And there is still a lot in my mind to share, so I guess I will just make another post after this one.

So what’s the inspiring thing I can give you now, based on the above? What would I give myself? I guess I would tell myself that indeed maybe I should(?!) put some more time in planning and goal setting. In getting my desire clearer, making a clearer picture in my mind. And that it’s OK to be me, to take time to thing in the morning. To just feel what I feel in the morning.

So yes, just be you, just be yourself and be proud of it!

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