Self analysis, question 20

It can’t be but I must be making progress as I have been very serious answering these questions, but somehow it doesn’t feel like that still often. Well, let’s go with question 20: “Would you call yourself a ‘spineless weakling’ if you permitted others to do your thinking for you”?

And I guess that is a good question for today as I was very down as things didn’t turn out as I wanted them to be or actually I can’t get people to do what I want. And that frustrates me as apparently I am not able to induce people to do things (that I want). Or I am still not able to induct people.

And the main thing that made me feel down was that my partner in the DoctorsConnect project, even the initiator of the project, didn’t want to celebrate our launch or even the 90 day birthday of our project. And I had been pushing to do at least ‘something’ today, the day we targeted as the launch date for DoctorsConnect, but in the end last night he really didn’t seem to want to do anything.

And for quite a while I knew we would not be ready for a big launch with inviting doctors and such, but to me doing at least something today, even if it were just a lunch or dinner together or even having cake together would have been enough, but no, my partner didn’t want it and just wanted to postpone the launch.

And there are several big issues here, as this is the second time we didn’t make an important deadline as we also agreed on January 25, 2015 there would be ten doctors using the system. And if it would have been five or even just one I could have lived with that. But until now we still don’t have any doctor using the system, meaning we are far behind schedule.

And I know I also didn’t deliver everything as promised, at least not always in the required quality. But also today I delivered one of the things that according to my partner was missing in the system. And I am not even sure if he noticed.

And I just looked back at the question of today and I realize it may be time for action. As this just doesn’t work, at least not for me. So maybe start thinking and deciding for myself.

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