Tag Archives: Wise words

Self analysis, question 20

It can’t be but I must be making progress as I have been very serious answering these questions, but somehow it doesn’t feel like that still often. Well, let’s go with question 20: “Would you call yourself a ‘spineless weakling’ if you permitted others to do your thinking for you”?

And I guess that is a good question for today as I was very down as things didn’t turn out as I wanted them to be or actually I can’t get people to do what I want. And that frustrates me as apparently I am not able to induce people to do things (that I want). Or I am still not able to induct people.

And the main thing that made me feel down was that my partner in the DoctorsConnect project, even the initiator of the project, didn’t want to celebrate our launch or even the 90 day birthday of our project. And I had been pushing to do at least ‘something’ today, the day we targeted as the launch date for DoctorsConnect, but in the end last night he really didn’t seem to want to do anything.

And for quite a while I knew we would not be ready for a big launch with inviting doctors and such, but to me doing at least something today, even if it were just a lunch or dinner together or even having cake together would have been enough, but no, my partner didn’t want it and just wanted to postpone the launch.

And there are several big issues here, as this is the second time we didn’t make an important deadline as we also agreed on January 25, 2015 there would be ten doctors using the system. And if it would have been five or even just one I could have lived with that. But until now we still don’t have any doctor using the system, meaning we are far behind schedule.

And I know I also didn’t deliver everything as promised, at least not always in the required quality. But also today I delivered one of the things that according to my partner was missing in the system. And I am not even sure if he noticed.

And I just looked back at the question of today and I realize it may be time for action. As this just doesn’t work, at least not for me. So maybe start thinking and deciding for myself.

Outwitting the devil

It was very strange what just happened to me. Somehow I ended up on the site Outwitting the Devil. And what happened after was something like the thing described in the document with ‘the last chapter’, the thing that happened to Napoleon Hill as described in this text. As somehow I felt I was guided to this site, this page, this document. And somehow it feels that it was no accident that it mainly reminded me of the virtual cabinet Napoleon Hill also describes in Think and Grow Rich. And it reminded me of the sessions with my private virtual cabinet a while ago. And it somehow made me believe I should continue with that, restart it. And while writing this I realize that I have felt very lonely lately, especially the last few weeks, as somehow the people who I was talking to (with?) for my Connect Mindanao project have not done so much recently, have not really contributed, have not done their part. So this felt like another project, another business that failed, where I failed to create a team to make it happen, where I failed again to generate some income for myself, some pleasure for myself. So maybe that is also why I was lead to Outwitting the Devil, as it talks about what to do, how to become happy.

And no, I don’t like what I read there and heard everywhere. As somehow it never worked for me, or somehow I didn’t do it or didn’t do it the right way.

So time for meditation right now, even though I still want to finish some things tonight. But maybe first stop.

Success consciousness

I never really understood the idea of success consciousness, but especially recently I am starting to feel more and more success… conscious. And I still can’t fully figure out how it happened, even though I know it started somewhere in my deepest down in life around two years ago, towards the end of the year 2012. And, if you have read more here you will know, it started somehow with the book Think and Grow Rich from Napoleon Hill. And while writing this I realize I often think I never got my ‘break’, the thing I believe most or all successful people have. But maybe this was just my ‘break’, meeting Napoleon Hill and his ideas about how to achieve success. And maybe was the person who gave me the book, actually lent me his, the person who gave me my break. As I also believe there must be some person giving someone his or her ‘break’ towards success. But no, while writing this it was not really like that, but please note how I somehow am looking very positively at that event, where before I would just have not realized how a simple event like lending someone a book could be something very special, something very positive.

And that is what I notice more and more, how I see most things happening to me now as a positive, as the Universe helping me to achieve success, where before I was just annoyed, as I guess most people are, when I had to wait for something or if things don’t turn out the way I expected them to be. Like today I was in such a situation where my two meetings, the main reason I went to the city for, were cancelled, postponed. And before I would just be annoyed and would end up in a very bad mood. But today I just thought that something better must be on the way, that there must be a reason for the delay. And it doesn’t mean that that feeling of being annoyed is not really there and it didn’t mean I didn’t try to push through with the meetings, but I just left it to the Universe, to the other people to decide whether they would still be able or want to entertain me. And I just went my way, did my errands, enjoyed the extra time I had, relaxed a bit and finally decided to just go home. Or not go home, as I decided to visit an acquaintance I wanted to visit already for quite some time, but never really did. And that person was not there, but his brother was, and he offered me a cup of coffee, which I decided to take. And he didn’t really seem to want to entertain me, but when he was out for a smoke another visitor and me found ourselves having a nice chat.

So yes, something I never realized before, never wanted to believe before, most or maybe even all what happens to us, or at least the way it happens to us or what we do with it, how we feel about it, is just in the mind. And if your mindset is negative, you will experience negative, as if your mindset is negative you will focus on the negative, and more important, your environment will react to it, will indeed join you in your vibration, as Abraham Hicks often points it out so nice. And there is not even a real secret to it. Just imagine what would have happened if I had reacted to my cancelled, my postponed meetings in a negative way, in a disappointed or frustrated way. I would have just been annoyed or angry. Or just blame the other parties for not keeping to their agreement with me. So I would have reacted differently to the other people I met, I would have behaved differently, would have done different things, something like finishing my errands in stress and trying to go home as quickly as possible or something. So I would feel right now that I had a bad day, a shitty day and I would have probably experienced that other people had reacted very different to me, in my angry, annoyed mood. And I would certainly not have visited my friends place, meaning no coffee and no nice chat.

And don’t get me wrong, I can still get annoyed and I was certainly not happy while I was just on the way and my first meeting partner cancelled the meeting. And also not when my second meeting partner also wanted to postpone the meeting, meaning that I could have just skipped my visit to the city, something that still involves quite some time and effort as I don’t have a car. But I quickly changed my thoughts, starting indeed with the thought that there must be a good reason for this and that the Universe had its reasons for what happened, maybe even meeting that person I met the end of the day.

Please note that if you are still more into the negative thinking and don’t understand those things yet, those things took me more than half a life time to learn, to understand, to experience. But if even a hard headed person like me can turn around and learn to see the positive side of things, I’m sure you also can learn this. As it seems it’s just a learned skill, a habit, that can be learned, acquired by just a little bit of practice. And yes, step one is awareness, be aware of your thoughts. Once you got there, the rest is relatively easy.

Just let life happen

Someone posted in Facebook the quote “You can’t control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out. Let go a little and just let life happen“. And I think that is just what I needed to hear. As indeed, it is so little what you can do alone, as one human being. The more I look at it, the more I see that it is really humanity, or maybe ‘life’ that makes things happen. And yes, we are each part of it and we each contribute something to it. But in the bigger picture it is just ‘life’. So relax, let’s relax.

Being flexible

It was not really easy to skip my posts and the sending of my daily quote and the update of my gratitude diary yesterday. Or maybe it was, as I just did it, especially keeping myself from sending the daily quote yesterday, which I could have relatively easily done. And behind it is still fear I think, fear of letting go of the routine of ‘planning the work and working the plan‘. But somehow I have the feeling that I am overdoing things, that I am too rigid in following my plan, my daily to-do list. And what triggered me thinking that was a remark a few weeks ago of a friend of mine, something like that he would leave me behind, let me alone if I really wanted to push through with meeting someone who skipped a meeting we had planned because he was sick. And yes, that was the first time or one of the first times that I really didn’t make my daily planning, really could not check an item on my list as ‘done’. And no, I don’t think it hurt me in my discipline really, maybe even the opposite, although I’m not fully sure. As somehow I continued making my daily plan and doing the things I planned for the day, maybe even more conscious than before. Actually it made me think a lot about being rigid or flexible and somehow it gave me more options, more choices.

And yes, somehow it still makes me scared that I am now able to indeed decide NOT to finish my daily to-do list. As I did yesterday, as I had decided to attend a funeral, meaning I left Wednesday end of the afternoon and returned today, Friday morning, as I had to travel for around eight hours to the city where the family lives,where I spent most of yesterday attending the funeral, including preparations and aftermath.

So maybe it did or does take courage NOT to do things, like not to send my daily quote yesterday and not to write my posts and not to update my gratitude diary. And yes, it still makes me feel a bit scared, as I no have given myself the option to NOT finish my daily to-do list.

But even while scared, scared of falling back to not doing things anyhow, no matter whether I planned them or not, somehow I have the feeling I gained some flexibility, lost some of my rigid thinking by indeed allowing me to be flexible, even where the cost is NOT doing the things I planned, so not working the plan.

But it made me more human, as being a human being you can’t control everything. And you certainly need to take the time to be with family, friends, to share a loss like the death of a loved one.