Tag Archives: Control

Leave it to the Universe

I never really believed in ‘leaving things to God’ or something. Or I never knew how to do that. But recently it seems I am more able to do that, and the results are amazing, like I am complaining less to other people and often outcomes are just stunning. Like earlier this week I had to wait a long time in the bank and I was a bit annoyed with it. But after leaving the bank I just bumped into some friends who passed by. Or actually they bumped into me. And it was nothing really special meeting them, but it was special realizing that my waiting in the bank had made it possible to meet them, for them to see me and stop and say ‘hi’.

And also today I was a bit annoyed as my partner and a visiting cousin wanted to go to the movie and I actually didn’t want to go as I still had a lot of unfinished things on my daily list. And amazingly the movie was not scheduled yet, so they decided we would not watch a movie. And then again I was a bit annoyed as my partner wanted to buy DVD’s in the city, so another time lost. Or so I thought. But while on the way I remembered I still wanted to see someone to finish a business deal who is often near the place where my partner normally buys DVD’s. So I asked them to drop me, which they did, and you already can guess that the person I wanted to see was there and was available to discuss the things I wanted to discuss.

And again, normally if my partner is at that place, he wants to stay longer than me. But not today, as after one beer he said he wanted to go home as he was tired. And that was also where I wanted to go.

So by just looking up, closing my eyes, and trusting ‘The Universe’ (and ┬ánot complaining to others) I got everything I wanted, including some spare time, as I came home and felt kind of sick, interpreting this that it was time to rest and re-plan my unfinished things for today. And again, it really was like it ‘came to me’, the thought it was enough for today, that it was time to be flexible and not stubborn, not stubbornly finish my things until deep in the night.

So amazing what happens, if you let go of the control, if you just leave things to God, to The Universe, and not complain so much anymore. As things then just come to you.

And yes, I remember now, that I got a strong message yesterday or so, that help is on the way. And today I wanted to force that, but something in me said that I just need to trust and wait, and not try to force it. As that just doesn’t work. Which doesn’t mean taking action is wrong or so, or not needed. But indeed, only inspired action seems to work and any uninspired action seems to be doomed to fail.

So yes, take action, but only if you feel like it, only if you feel inspired.

Enough

I’ve had enough, or at least almost enough. And it is getting harder and harder to control myself, to not burst out in anger or something. As last week people cleaning and cleaning and cleaning had already a big attack on my state of being. And yesterday was kind of okay. But today it just feels like it has been enough, that I sacrificed enough. And still so many people who I want to keep happy, here in The Malasag House, so yes, i’ll try to keep my temper down and suppress my feelings, my emotions a bit longer. But it’s getting harder and harder and i feel like I have nowhere to go, as my home is still with people none of whom I invited, even though about half of them I like.

And yes, I liked the party last night and I was especially happy that I think everybody was happy, including me. But the whole thing has taken its toll and its getting harder and harder to control myself. And yes, I like people here in my house. But not so many at the same time and not for days and days and days.

Not always easy to support your partner.

But yes, looking back I think I did a great job so I think I can be proud of myself.