Strange to start this post with the title Happy and grateful as it is very rare that I feel happy and/or grateful and one of our dogs is still with the vet as she is very sick and may not even survive her illness. But part of my happiness is related to the dog being sick and me spending quite some time this afternoon with her as I am very affected with these kind of things and it is very hard for me to put my mind to something else if something emotional is going on in my life, like a dog who has been with us for around ten years and who is very sick.
So sitting with Ulla this afternoon for quite a long time made me feel a bit stupid, as who is going to spend so much time with just a sick dog who is taken care of very well by the vet and the staff at the vet. But it gave me quite some time to contemplate about that and I realized that it is just part of me being affected so much with something like this and having difficulty to put my mind somewhere else. So I was just doing the right thing, as I had some time in my planning left and didn’t want to go home and didn’t have anywhere else to go, so what would be the best place to be? Well, with the sick dog of course, so I could also check how she was doing. And I was thinking about Napoleon Hill and the ideas of being affected by opinions of others and I was indeed realizing that my main concern was the opinion of the vet, presuming she was thinking that this crazy stupid emotional foreigner was so crazy spending hours with his dog.
And I realized that I just presumed she was thinking that and I may be pretty wrong with that. So it may have just been my own thoughts putting this negative idea in my mind, even possibly putting something fully wrong in my mind. And the next thing I realized that I and only I can and could decide how to spend my time best. And that I was just there for all the right reasons as I didn’t want to go home anymore and might as well spend my time with the dog as anywhere else. So I was there for all the right reasons, no matter what anybody else would think. It was fully logical, even if other people probably wouldn’t understand. As they didn’t know my reasoning and my planning and the way I am built.
So yes, I was kind of happy having learned to being not so much affected by the opinions by others anymore, even though of course I still had the feeling a bit of feeling stupid. So yes, there is some gratefulness there also, as this realization made me feel grateful.
The thing that really made me grateful though was an e-mail I just received, an e-mail giving me a way out of a very important issue, giving me a gentle way out of a very large mistake I made quite some time ago, a mistake that was bothering me a lot as the consequences didn’t seem to go away, consequences that could have a large effect on my life.
And I felt especially grateful that somehow things seem to turn around, that somehow slowly good is coming to me where I had so many bad years.