Bad mood, good mood

So I had this bad mood yesterday (and the days before). And last night I couldn’t sleep, so I went out again, played a bit and went too bed again. And of course I woke up very late today, only to find two messages, one from a customer to pick up a check and one from Mitsubishi Cagayan de Oro that I could pass by again to take some pictures as the (my?) black Pajero is due for release this afternoon. And I felt a bit annoyed as I had only about one hour to get there and I also wanted to bring my partner to take the pictures. And knowing especially my partner I would never make the scheduled time.

But then suddenly a whole world opened for me, as I realized that everything is okay, that whatever time I would arrive would be okay. As it is not me who arranges everything, it is God or The Universe or Infinite Intelligence in charge of everything. And I am still home and a bit anxious, a bit annoyed as my partner is still not prepared and on the phone with some issue he has been talking about for the whole week with all kinds of people. An issue that doesn’t make sense to me and an issue I don’t understand he spends so much time and energy on. But I realize more and more that all these events have a reason and that it would be okay if I were late and the Pajero would be gone. Or it would be okay if it’s still there. And it would be okay if I arrived just when the owner is about to pick it up, where in that case the delay would just mean that it was meant I meet the owner.

And yes, I have a choice as I could push my partner now more if I would really want to go and be in time. Or I could go or could have gone earlier as I woke up just in time to be there at the indicated time. But I did not do that and yes, I still feel a bit anxious, but I think that has more to do with dealing with my partner than with this specific issue.

So while thinking, and that was the reason why I started this post, I realized (again) that there have been and are being set up so many things by, well, The Universe. As my waking up late and the check being ready and the car ready for release and the owner scheduling time today and, and, and… So life is indeed some kind of dance of all kinds of things coming together and making ‘reality’ real, making life happen as it happens. And yes, including my decision of not to push my partner and not going down myself.

And yes, that makes me think more and more about predestination or not, like if I, if you, if people really have a choice. And of course that brings me to The Matrix, where it is stated many times that ‘the problem is choice’. And a book I read recently about the universe in a scientific way states a bit the same, and in my opinion it all goes down to something like ‘who is the observer’. But is the observer not just ‘consciousness’, universal consciousness? And are humans not some kind of expression of that universal consciousness? Who will know and I doubt if we will ever know, but somehow it is very exciting and at the same time mysterious.

But my partner is almost ready, so I guess we’ll go soon.

To be continued…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Inspiring HTML allowed. Comments are being moderated.