I am getting more and more confirmed that a (first) no that you mostly get from people when asking something. And of course this idea goes back to the story of R.U. Darby and his uncle at the very beginning of Think and Grow Rich. And I didn’t really understand how it would work, as I often encountered “no’s” in my life and just took them for a no. And even when (stubbornly) trying to push something, the ‘no’ stayed ‘no’. Until recently, especially when I started working on my project Connect Mindanao and started sending e-mails to many people I wanted to ask for help or involve in my project. Or more recently, sending e-mails to find an initial investor or initial investors for my project.
And somehow something changed, as with these e-mails I decided to get answers from all people I tried to reach. And especially with this decision something changed. As suddenly e.g. I became more structured with keeping track of the e-mails I sent and the e-mails I received. And suddenly my approach to people became much more careful, more kind, more, I don’t know how to say, maybe just less stubborn, less controlling.
And it works, it pays off. As I learned more about persistence (vs. stubbornness). As I just keep going like sending follow up e-mails if I don’t get an answer or don’t get an answer that satisfies me. So I do get answers. And I get satisfying answers. As if an answer is not satisfying I just continue following up or asking questions or something like that.
Ah, and I can be very impulsive, so I developed the habit of not replying e-mails on the same day I receive them, at least if they are important e-mails. And I developed the habit of following up e-mails after two weeks if they are important. And I developed the habit of following up anyhow, even if I did not do so yet after two weeks, for whatever reason. So I do get answers. And I do get satisfying answers. From everybody I am writing e-mails or letters to. And that is very satisfying, for both parties I guess. As I get the answers, and the other party knows I am serious, that I am a person, and not some robot or something sending thousands of e-mails. Ah, yes, maybe last but not the least, I sent much less e-mails, as I am much more careful what to send and whom to send them to. As I know I am going to follow them up, as most have to be followed up. As most e-mails I send go to people who as far as I figured out right now, never reply to the first e-mail. Indeed, as some kind of persistence test. As indeed, also, described in Think and Grow Rich.
So don’t take no for an answer. But do it in a kind way. And make sure you ask the right thing from the right person.