Tag Archives: Complaining

Being joyful

There is still a text from yesterday that is in my mind:

“Your greatest value to others is when you are joyful. Your greatest value to others is when you are connected. Your greatest value to others is to be radiantly healthy. Your greatest value to others is when you are happy. Your greatest value to others is to have and to be and do all the things that are very important to you. And as you are living that and vibrating that and oozing that and radiating thatthen you are a catalyst that is inspiring others to an awareness of that.” – Abraham Hicks

And I believe or am starting to believe that this is very true. However, to implement these thoughts, these ideas are not that simple. At least I am finding out that I am so conditioned with all kinds of things that are ‘right’, right in the eyes of others, right in the way I was raised, right according to my parents, right according to the law, right in what we all consider to be ‘right’.

And I am starting to believe that this ‘right’ is not right anymore, even though it has brought humanity very far, all those rules all those ‘ideas that work’. But do they work? Or do they work always?

For me personally I have always worked hard, or at least tried to do that as I thought it would bring me happiness and yes, money, freedom. And I am still working hard, still trying to ‘earn my living’ by working as that is how the world sees how it’s supposed to be. But it doesn’t and didn’t work for me, because looking back I have forced myself into jobs and worked according to the rules of my bosses, the system and it got me kicked out of my job several times, hurting me a lot. And it wasn’t because i worked hard, because I did work hard. But it was because I was me, or tried to combine those things. And in the end it didn’t work as I couldn’t find a job anymore, but I didn’t even really wanted that anymore as bosses appeared not to be happy with what I did or how I did it.

And yes, my ‘forcing’ before did bring me a lot as I earned quite some money, had a company car, was able to travel the world and was able to live a happy, luxury life. And yes, I miss that a lot. And to be honest I want that back, that freedom of having money. But the way i did it didn’t work, so I don’t want to go back forcing myself doing things that are or were expected of me, or the things i thought that were expected of me.

So what to do, as it seems the business world, the money world, the areas were money is to be earned doesn’t suit me, or i guess actually the other way around: I don’t fit ‘the system’.

And still, I’m trying hard to fit in, as slowly I started to need the money, not to just to the fun things, but just to eat, just to survive. But I learned to live from day to day, from moment to moment, not to worry too much about the future. And I’m much happier with that, much happier now.

But I’m still not sure how it will turn out. I’m trying to live more like myself and basically it feels good. But not having the ‘receiving’ part is hard and i really would love to travel again. have a car again, renovate the house so we can invite guests again and indeed, also provide everything with food, with nice things.

So how to do that, how to receive? And pass on, let it flow?

Time will tell.

Working hard

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Yes, this is what struck me today, or actually yesterday when I already read it:

Haven’t you been mystified when you see people who seem to not work very hard at all that have so much wonderful stuff coming to them? And then, you see those that are working the hardest and they seem to be getting the least. Haven’t you ever wondered what was wrong with that? They just haven’t learned the leverage of aligning Energy. They are going about it the hard way. They are trying to use their action to create rather than their alignment of Energy. – Abraham Hicks

And it feels very familiar as I am the hard working type. I’m the one who tries to do everything with action, tries to control everything. And indeed, it doesn’t seem to work, because all my hard work didn’t bring me wealth or anything.

Still, I also don’t believe that no work at all, or no action at all would bring me or anyone else anywhere. But maybe that’s also exactly the point of what is stated above: action or hard work doesn’t bring you anywhere and that’s a fact as I did experience it and I’m still experiencing it.

But no action also doesn’t work I think. So what’s it all about? Inspired action? But then, what is inspired action and how would it be that different from any action? Like today, I worked on the site of one of my customers: Smaal Zwitserland. And i just enjoyed it, really. But I’m also tired and I worked hard and didn’t find time to e.g. post my blog items or work on this site or work on the plugins or work on sites of other customers. So was it inspired action? Does it bring me anywhere, anywhere near my dreams that are more of a better love and sex life, a well earned holiday, a car, the house being renovated and inviting friends and family and enjoy my time with them? There must be a way to combine, to have it all, but I still didn’t figure it out.

And yes, i did figure out and I am experiencing that everything indeed starts with being grateful, with being happy, with positive thinking. But that’s what I’m doing right now (or actually not right now as the above is a little like complaining), but yes, that’s what I’ve been doing the last few weeks. And things still don’t flow my way yet. And yes, my belief is not strong or not there at all for some things. But I do believe that I deserve more, that i can have more, that there is more.

So what to do? Or just be patient and let the Universe line up things? Just be patient, not expecting too much too soon? Yes, feels good indeed while writing this. So yes, let’s be patient and see.

Breakdown or breakthrough?

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I’m in day 16 of my thirty day Law of Attraction program and it seems I’m attracting many things I don’t want. Our internet is not working properly and not only one connection but two, as we have two internet connections. This completely doesn’t make sense, although the cause and result may be related somehow, probably are. And we just found out our refrigerator doesn’t work properly anymore, or doesn’t work at all. Also doesn’t make sense as it’s not that old, something like five years, and in my experience a refrigerator lasts ten years or even many years more. We even have a small one that’s probably twenty years old.

So what does this all mean? Probably nothing, but it has a very bad effect on my mood, and my mood wasn’t that good already deep own as I still didn’t find work, or at least enough work to just support myself and our household doesn’t need that much money in Western standards. Something like EUR 1.000,= or USD 1,300.00 or so is enough for us to survive and even have things like a TV card for our satellite TV and some ‘rum and coke’ in the evening and such.

So I’m kind of lost what to do. And according to the Law of Attraction I probably shouldn’t do anything as I’m completely not inspired to do things. So maybe I just keep doing the wrong thing like trying to do it all myself and not trust ‘The Universe‘ or whatever.

So should I write this post? Not sure, but it still makes me feel successful if I do the tasks I intended to do and one of those is to write a daily post here, send an inspirational quote once a day except on Sunday, write my blessings in my Dutch blog and write a post there also.

And recently I basically finished all the things i intended to do for the day and I prefer to keep doing that as it also makes me feel kind of successful. But today that is or was not easy, as there were some internet related things that are very hard to finish without a decent internet connection, although I think I figured out now how to use one of our connections properly which is also why I am able to write this post now. And i also figured out I think why both connections don’t work or don’t work properly. It seems to be a combination of things starting with just bad wireless signals for both connections. And this may have just one cause, something like a change in the environment related to radio signals. That still doesn’t explain why our refrigerator broke down, but even that my be related to some kind of change in the environment (or my vibration of course if you think in terms of Law of Attraction.

Anyhow, so what’s inspiring about all this? I have no clue and mostly I just write what’s in my mind as you may know, although I do have some higher goals with this website. But what if there is just not enough money flowing your way like in my case? It’s just no fun. And I’ve figured out it has indeed nothing to do with working hard or something as I’ve worked hard most of my life. Working clever maybe, but I’m quite intelligent, so that also can’t be the thing that affects ‘enough’ money coming your way.

And I changed my mind about money recently, so I’m not really worried anymore. But my/our debts are getting bigger and bigger and as of the moment I think I even have to use my credit card limit to just pay our daily needs (which was in my mind for quite a while already, so in terms of Law of Attraction it may not be that weird what’s happening). But at least I’m not borrowing anymore from the place i borrowed before and which I think now was kind of a mistake even though I don’t know exactly how I should or could have done it differently, looking back.

And I’m getting a bit drunk now as I just started my second ‘rum-and-coke’, so I’m not sure if it’s still all interesting what I’m writing, but they say drunk people speak the truth, so I guess I do now more, even though normally I’m not really lying or something. Often I just don’t say things i maybe should say and I figured out that’s also kind of lying.

Mitsubishi Pajero So anyhow, I have no clue where to go from here financially and I really need some money for my daily needs and for the things I’m dreaming about and I think I (and Abraham Hicks) think I should have. I did plant a lot of seeds though, so I hope one or some of them will finally start to grow and also make it possible to at least support myself and my partner, pay back my loans (you have no clue how much I hate lending money) and finally get my Pajero, my cruise, some holiday and just some other enjoyable things.

Anyhow, I like to work and I know a lot about web programming and Internet Marketing, so you would really make me happy to put some work my way related to that. And in the end I don’t even mind if I get paid or not as I just like to do it, so if I can help you with that kind of stuff please let me know.

Ah, and I found something weird. I always try to serve my customers and do everything they want as I think that is how a business should work. So I presumed i could also find some people or businesses to do some job I need done. And I just can’t find anybody. It’s related to Search Engine Optimization and I get a million offers for that every day by e-mail. But when I send my little request they can’t do it. Weird.

So if you have something to do for me I can help you with, and yes, i also can’t do everything, like the job I tried to outsource, please let me know. To me it’s still better to do something for someone else than to work on my own projects like Real Estate Philippines that I started today, that don’t really have value, at least that’s what I think.

Enough for today I guess, and even if it’s not inspiring for you, writing all this made me feel better, so at least someone got better from it.

Thanks for reading!

Busy or not busy, good or not good

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I am busy and not busy and I’m trying to do good.

Just miss traveling, miss being alive.

So found a lot of weird quotes about busy on BrainyQuote.

Live should be lived, not survived.

Complaint with passion?

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I’m a bit in complaining mood and a bit lost with the Law of Attraction. And I’m a bit lost with all the self help type sites I signed up for in relation to this site, to the site Inspiration for Success. You see, I wanted to do something different with this site. Not doing the active selling of products like many of those sites do that i signed up for. You see, as of the moment I get like five or ten e-mails per day that really provide some useful information, some inspiration, something that makes me feel like clicking on the links, reading more. But at the end of the day all those e-mails seem to be focused only on selling something, same like all the ‘free’ items I can download or read. And don’t get me wrong, nothing wrong with that. And maybe it’s the only way or the best way or something to have a successful internet business. But I wanted to do something different. Writing with passion to inspire people, and then indeed, when these people, when you, would really feel to have gotten something from me, have achieved something because of me or because of this website, I would have liked or would like that you would indeed pay me.

But it seems that’s not how life works, or that’s not how business works, or that’s not how internet business works, or that’s not how the internet works. And then indeed it seems I’m not a businessman, maybe too much of an idealist, a dreamer. And it also reflects in my business, in my personal life.

And then they talk about giving. That the only way you can ‘get’ something is by giving. Or by helping other people achieve what they want, get what they want.

And they say that you reap what you sow, that you get back multiplied what you sowed.

So I must have given very little, or have sowed the wrong things. And yes, looking back at my life, maybe I took too much. I had all the holidays and the fun earlier in my life.

But somehow it doesn’t add up. I still don’t believe I’m that bad that I can’t even support myself, let alone the people who depend on me, who are around me.

And they say it’s all about passion, about doing what you love, doing what you’re passionate about. Well, most of my life I did the things I liked to do. And I guess I did it with passion. And also the last few years I think I ran my business with passion. I liked the work I did, the things I wanted to achieve with my business. And it all fell apart. And I know a bit why, but I still don’t fully understand why it all had to fall apart, why it was not appreciated what I did. And yes, I made mistakes, big mistakes, but still, it doesn’t feel fair.

But indeed, who said life is fair? And in a way I do believe it is.

But it’s time for something better, to enjoy life again, to go out with friends, to have some time off and go out, have a holiday, relax. But I don’t see how and as of now I still don’t see a way out, although I started again and won’t give up.

But it’s not easy.