Inspiration for Success
About inspiration, motivation and success
Well, this time, today, tonight, at the end of the day I’m just tired. But this time, and yesterday, it was a much more positive tired than the last year, or maybe even years.
As I’m busy again, with work, with getting things done.
And it feels good.
Very weird what is happening lately and especially today. Somehow things are starting to flow again, not that empty feeling of ‘nothing is coming back’, not that feeling that I’m only giving, that only things are going out, energy is going out, but more the opposite, that things are coming in, that energy is coming in.
And the weird thing is that i didn’t ‘do’ anything. It just somehow happened and it is kind of following some more positive stuff that started a few days, or maybe weeks ago. So if this is supposed to be an inspiring post I’m not sure what to tell you you should ‘do’, how you would be able to change your energy when you’re in some kind of downturn.
Or maybe just indeed tell you that those things don’t last forever and that you don’t have as much control as you think you have or think you should have. So that sometimes, or maybe just always, it’s better to let things be, let thing go as they are going.
And somehow I’m not saying like you shouldn’t do anything when you’re in a down mood or in a down period, even though that’s how it sounds like that (and also feels a bit to me now and before).
So very confusing and maybe it’s indeed some kind of shift in energy in the world as I read about a few days ago (and wrote about).
So today kind of started (or ended) with music. And while before I had the feeling only energy went out, and before meaning a long, very long time where I felt I had no control and just remembered something like ‘sowing seeds’ so I could reap later on, which I did, today I felt like I was receiving a lot, just receiving something like ‘energy’.
And while listening to music, somehow starting with playlists I already have and ending playing stuff from artists with ‘T’, I just started crying, thanking The Universe for sending me this music, that special thing that has been created by so many people and, indeed, performed, vocalized by musicians, artists.
And I felt how everything connects together, these old songs, written and sang a long, long time ago and now being played from just my server network. And I was thinking about all the artists who sang these songs, and probably only once for the recording. And about all the people involved in converting this song into a record or CD (or tape). And about the music industry that connected the writers and the singers and the musicians and technicians, etc., etc. And about copyright and how right now all these things are just available to me. Something like 25,000++ songs that I just keep on my hard drive and can just play whenever I want. And for most, like 99.9% or more I didn’t even pay the artists or the people involved in creating and distributing the songs. So I felt this enormous energy, this enormous power of human music history coming to me, being with me, right at that moment, an hour ago or so. And I felt the energy of the artists singing and playing at concerts, something I never attended, but I can imagine with what power musicians ‘do’ their performance.
So yes, that’s what Napoleon Hill talks about when talking about ‘giving’ and indeed, also getting the benefits in the form of the ‘big money’, even though I’m starting to realize that even for most famous artists that’s only temporary.
And yes, I felt like wanting to ‘give back’ let this energy I felt from this music coming to me and all the things around it, all those people, all those years, all that history coming towards me with enormous power. So how quick can your system fill up when you feel empty by just playing music (or using anything else) and realizing how much ‘organized effort’ is behind it. So yes, it also made me feel humble, like one human being can do so little.
So how can i give back, that’s what came to my mind. And I’m not fully sure, as I’m just a simple web developer, not a musician or something. But I guess also the musician can do so much and only for a limited amount of time (in my mind is now Céline Dion who I saw in a movie, backstage). But yes, they gave and give more than I do now, did recently, or maybe all my life. So maybe they deserve more, I’m not sure.
But yes, it’s also a flow, like if the flow is not there, as it hasn’t been there for me for a long time, you can’t do anything. And yes, if the flow is there, like I felt this evening, you can do anything, give anything, even those great performances, in whatever occupation you are.
I was reading what Abraham Hicks says about procrastination and I just realized that I kind of always feel this underlying darkness, this underlying, well not sure how to call it, but it makes my legs feel tense. And I never really acknowledged it and I also don’t know if other people know or have this feeling. I always presumed people were the same and had similar ‘drivers’, things that drive them, but I’m starting to believe now that that’s not true. So I guess also most people have this underlying darkness, the underlying darkness that I feel. Maybe, as Napoleon Hill suggests like analyzing instead of presuming, how this is for other people.
And the main thing with this dark feeling, which before was more like a dark cloud covering everything, always present darkening things, is that it virtually always blocks me, blocks me to be happy, blocks me to be myself. And I kind of know that this feeling is the basis of all the bad things that are happening to me. As one of the weirdest things that are going on right now is that the main things from my desire document and my visualizations of some time ago have become reality. My current problem is, and this is the same problem I encountered most of my life, that it’s incomplete, it’s not enough. And I know that and The Universe knows that. So that’s going on. And somehow I keep telling myself ‘you should be happy’ and ‘it should be enough’. And that’s just not the truth, so I keep beating myself up with something that’s not true. And that causes me an enormous amount of stress and kind of blocks everything.
So just before writing this I was just lying down, thinking, not really knowing what to do as I didn’t feel inspired doing anything. And I have learned that indeed, as the ideas of Abraham Hicks state, uninspired action goes nowhere, only works against everything. So then I realized I should first at least acknowledge that there is something wrong, that things have materialized but are incomplete and that it is very logical that I feel like I feel: very unhappy and very unsatisfied. And then I got somehow the feeling to write this finding down, like I’m doing now, even though my mind (read: what I believe other people say) says I shouldn’t do so as I’m in the negative again. But am I, acknowledging what’s really going on with me? Is that negative? I don’t think so, because indeed, if I keep pushing against it, trying to convince myself everything is OK and that I’m no the right path while I know that’s not true, something really bad is going on and I just make it worse.
So how to go from here? I still don’t know as related to ‘what people say’ and ‘what the world says’ and ‘what you’re supposed to do’ says I’m in big trouble, I’m not OK. But is this not what it’s all about? Who is ‘the world’ that they could judge on where I stand, no matter where that is? And why would that be wrong, no matter what I did or didn’t do? And no, I”m not happy where I stand right now and I was not happy where I stood in life most of my life, but maybe what I’m writing here is just the way out of it: just acknowledging that I”m not happy, that I’m in a very wrong place, that I’m in a very bad situation. And no matter what ‘the world’ says try to figure out what I want and how to get there.
And somehow I’m doing the right thing as it felt good writing the above. But again posting it and hoping for feedback or something or just feeling the judgement just makes me feel bad again. But maybe again, that’s what courage maybe is about, just do it and see what happens and maybe even try to expect in the right way.
And somehow lately I more and more often feel I’m getting closer to what I want, closer to what I desire, closer to live a joyful, loving and powerful life. But I’m not there yet, somehow the Universe is not lined up yet fully. Or maybe this is just what still needs to happen, maybe this is still what needs to be written, needs to be shared, even though I don’t like it as it’s kind of embarrassing, it’s kind of negative. In the eyes of the world.
Wow, today was a very good day. And I don’t consider myself successful, but how many people have created a virtual team around some web project without any money, just a little bit of time. So how successful is that? Quite successful I think. And it’s even more amazing if you consider that ‘team‘ or Master Mind were my weakest points.
And there are so many things in my mind I want to share, so many things that led up to this first team meeting with a complete team where everything felt like being in harmony.
And then knowing that this all started at the lowest point in my life ever, where I was thinking of killing myself. And that indeed this all started with a thought, with a decision, but also the Universe lining up to this moment, to this team meeting that felt like a success.
And I’m not there yet. I’m not saying ‘yes, yes, yes, this is it’ yet. But it’s starting to feel like something is happening, something good is happening, something great is about to happen.
So there is something in the ideas of Napoleon Hill and Lynn Grabhorn and Abraham Hicks. And sometimes they seem contradictory, but somehow they are the same and complement each other.
So yes, thank you Universe, team, Inner Self or whatever force is driving life, is driving my life.
So yes, life is good.
I have been thinking a lot about how to be paid. And related to that of course about how to give service and what service to give. And I decided that I want people, I want you, to pay me the amount you think my service is worth to you, to people. That’s all. And that’s how I want the business model, the payment model of Inspiration for Success to be. Just pay us what you think it’s worth, what makes you happy to pay.
And I think that’s a good payment model as I would know if I am, we are, giving good service to you. And as of the moment my conclusion is that I’m not giving good service to you, to the world as not may people go to our site and as far as I know not many people have paid.
But keep in mind there’s a catch, because if you came this far in this post it means I have been writing something of value to you. So if you’re not happy paying me for the value of my effort writing this post, building this site and doing the other things we have in mind for the brand Inspiration for Success, then please stop reading right now. As if you would continue reading there would be value here, otherwise you would have stopped reading and left the page. So then it should make you feel happy to give something back to me, to pay me.
And I know this is not how the world works right now, at least not for me and probably also not for you. Because I have the feeling we’re living in a world of ‘give and take’ and not in a world of ‘give and receive’. And I think we can do better. Because I also have the feeling I have given a lot. And I didn’t receive much. Meaning either I didn’t give any service to you, to other people, or they didn’t see what I gave them or they don’t appreciate what I did and do.
So if you came this far I would like to ask you what you consider the value of these few paragraphs for you. Is it one cent? Ten cents? One dollar maybe? Or even more if I gave you some idea or made you move? Or you were just enjoying what I have written here? Or you think it’s just bullshit and just think I’m crazy?
And I don’t mind the answer, or actually I do, because if would help me build my life, build this site, build my business better. But keep in mind, if you came this far in this post there must have been something of value here. So it might make you happy to give something in return.