I was, and still am, a bit in doubt what to write here, as I had a pretty busy day ending with a few hours without electricity which is why it is pretty late right now. And my doubt is about whether I will continue with the next self analysis question or if I just write a short post ‘just to write a post’. But actually I decided already: I just want to write a short note here that at least I am alive and am still fulfilling my daily task of writing here, which has helped me to become more disciplined.
And it is strange writing about doubt here, as often when I am tired I am still in doubt whether to write a short post, even one line or something or just skip the day. And mostly I decide to write and often I write even more than I was planning to, just like now, but the doubt keeps haunting me and also confirms to me right now that I could just make a decision on that right now for future posts, for future days when it is late and/or when I am tired.
And somehow I don’t want to, somehow I can’t make that decision right now for the future, even though implicitly I already made it, as mostly I just decide to write, no matter where I am, no matter the circumstances and no matter what time it is. And I am thinking now about two weeks ago, when I was on holiday in Siargao and even a few days on a very remote island with virtually no internet access. And I did send the daily quote most of the days, but writing posts I mostly skipped as it just felt like ‘too much’.
And well, even today I was able to write quite a bit, much more than just the one line that I felt actually was appropriate for today. It does even feel likes it makes some sense, so not bad I guess. And the last ‘I guess’ of course includes doubt, which is to be avoided related to success.