Author Archives: Guus

Team inspiration

The last few days and weeks I felt kind of desperate as it seemed I was not able to inspire the team to actually ‘do’ things for the project Inspiration for Success. And as today’s deadline, the end of the month September 2013, of some internal agreements arrived I didn’t really know what to do next as I felt kind of defeated.

And then, today, when I opened my e-mail the first newsletter had been created and sent, virtually without my input except for writing a very small introduction, fully organized by Christian. And later on the day I saw a very good post from Robin about the issue of ‘free internet’, written much better than I usually write my posts. And finally instructions from our Editor in Chief John, which make me think how to continue with my daily posts as I can’t match the quality standard he puts for writing pages and posts.

So we’re moving as a team, maybe a bit slower than I would want and being a perfectionist there are still many things I want to improve, but we are moving!

Strangeness of life

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It’s a phrase that stays in my my mind, the phrase ‘the strangeness of life’ from Napoleon Hill. I was watching the movie Safe with actor Jason Statham and that brought me to my jealousy again with movie stars and other successful people. Something like “I think I’m more intelligent, have better education, etc., etc., so why can’t I be rich and famous”. And I think that’s a very valid question. When reading about famous and/or successful people I do keep reading though that often some day in their life they met ‘some other famous person’ who made their break possible. And that’s exactly what I feel like I missed, but that’s also exactly what this site is all about. Give you that ‘break’, that inspiring person. And maybe this site is my ‘break’ as I see quite some opportunity in it, to pass my message, my ideas to the world. And be famous for that. The only issue for me is still that as far as I know I don’t know any person who would give me that ‘break’ I’m looking for.

However, that’s not what I really wanted to write about tonight. What was in my mind was all those things about how we have organized our world, what I was watching. And I was watching a movie that indeed is made perfect with most likely all people who are successful in what they are doing and very good where maybe indeed Jason Statham and the other successful people related to that movie go the extra mile where I don’t do that. But that’s not the point. The movie is made perfect as all good and famous Hollywood movies are. But the story is weird and there is an awful lot of violence in it e.g. And I am watching it and enjoying it and kind of believing it, kind of letting it in. And it has nothing or hardly anything to do with real life. The story, the killings, the car chases, the fights. But I am watching it and letting it in, together with all the commercials around it.

Safe So somehow we have created a world where movies are partially paid by big companies advertising their products that are about a life that is not real. And we are taking it in, the whole thing, the story, the advertisements, the fights, the car chases, etc., etc. So knowing that I know now this would influence my thoughts, my thinking and especially my subconscious mind. And until recently I used to do that without any real thinking. So I let these crazy things ‘the industry’ wants me to believe in. These crazy thoughts from things, organizations that are bigger than me, in size, in power, in influence.

And I’m not against that. I’m not against entertainment. I have been enjoying this movie although I don’t like the ‘action part’ that much. But I am starting to believe that we, virtually all humans, all humanity, is taking these things in too easy, too much without thinking, too much without realizing what it does to us, what it does to our thinking and therefore also with our acting.

So better be a bit more conscious what you are watching and what it does to you. And then better just pick the positive as I also found that virtually all movies have some deep thinking behind them, some positive message.

Acknowledge

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I was reading what Abraham Hicks says about procrastination and I just realized that I kind of always feel this underlying darkness, this underlying, well not sure how to call it, but it makes my legs feel tense. And I never really acknowledged it and I also don’t know if other people know or have this feeling. I always presumed people were the same and had similar ‘drivers’, things that drive them, but I’m starting to believe now that that’s not true. So I guess also most people have this underlying darkness, the underlying darkness that I feel. Maybe, as Napoleon Hill suggests like analyzing instead of presuming, how this is for other people.

And the main thing with this dark feeling, which before was more like a dark cloud covering everything, always present darkening things, is that it virtually always blocks me, blocks me to be happy, blocks me to be myself. And I kind of know that this feeling is the basis of all the bad things that are happening to me. As one of the weirdest things that are going on right now is that the main things from my desire document and my visualizations of some time ago have become reality. My current problem is, and this is the same problem I encountered most of my life, that it’s incomplete, it’s not enough. And I know that and The Universe knows that. So that’s going on. And somehow I keep telling myself ‘you should be happy’ and ‘it should be enough’. And that’s just not the truth, so I keep beating myself up with something that’s not true. And that causes me an enormous amount of stress and kind of blocks everything.

So just before writing this I was just lying down, thinking, not really knowing what to do as I didn’t feel inspired doing anything. And I have learned that indeed, as the ideas of Abraham Hicks state, uninspired action goes nowhere, only works against everything. So then I realized I should first at least acknowledge that there is something wrong, that things have materialized but are incomplete and that it is very logical that I feel like I feel: very unhappy and very unsatisfied. And then I got somehow the feeling to write this finding down, like I’m doing now, even though my mind (read: what I believe other people say) says I shouldn’t do so as I’m in the negative again. But am I, acknowledging what’s really going on with me? Is that negative? I don’t think so, because indeed, if I keep pushing against it, trying to convince myself everything is OK and that I’m no the right path while I know that’s not true, something really bad is going on and I just make it worse.

So how to go from here? I still don’t know as related to ‘what people say’ and ‘what the world says’ and ‘what you’re supposed to do’ says I’m in big trouble, I’m not OK. But is this not what it’s all about? Who is ‘the world’ that they could judge on where I stand, no matter where that is? And why would that be wrong, no matter what I did or didn’t do? And no, I”m not happy where I stand right now and I was not happy where I stood in life most of my life, but maybe what I’m writing here is just the way out of it: just acknowledging that I”m not happy, that I’m in a very wrong place, that I’m in a very bad situation. And no matter what ‘the world’ says try to figure out what I want and how to get there.

And somehow I’m doing the right thing as it felt good writing the above. But again posting it and hoping for feedback or something or just feeling the judgement just makes me feel bad again. But maybe again, that’s what courage maybe is about, just do it and see what happens and maybe even try to expect in the right way.

And somehow lately I more and more often feel I’m getting closer to what I want, closer to what I desire, closer to live a joyful, loving and powerful life. But I’m not there yet, somehow the Universe is not lined up yet fully. Or maybe this is just what still needs to happen, maybe this is still what needs to be written, needs to be shared, even though I don’t like it as it’s kind of embarrassing, it’s kind of negative. In the eyes of the world.

Also God starts with desire

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Today I was looking for some meaning and didn’t really feel like doing anything as most of the things I did lately were not appreciated very much. So, based on one of the advises of Abraham Hicks I decided not to do anything, except the little things I had planned and just wait, just wait for some inspiration. Or not just waiting, but kind of thinking, letting things sink in. Because somehow I feel like I have some kind of information overload as i read somewhere. And if so a human has information enough to make decisions but just needs time to process it.

And I’m still trying to match this ‘wait until you are inspired’ from Abraham Hicks and the ‘put your plan into action straight away’ from Napoleon Hill, but I think they’re not really contradictory because today I really didn’t know what to do. And I tend to do ‘just action’, but also according to the teachings of I think both, ‘just doing things’ and/or working hard is not really something that brings you success. Maybe you know: I feel like I have worked hard enough in my life, but in the end it didn’t really bring me anywhere.

So my resting and thinking and ‘doing nothing’ somehow brought me to another self help type book I have. The book “Your Best Life Now Journal” from Joel Osteen. And this book, this journal starts with the same thing as where Napoleon Hill starts: with desire, what do you want. So I pondered a bit about that. And I allowed a bit what I wanted. And before I always wanted to be rich, really rich. And I still want to be. And somehow I am starting to believe that I will be. But things have changed over the last year, because I know more why I want to be rich, I know more what I really want in life. And the main things for now are just having a car, and yes, I still want to show off also, so I prefer a Mitsubishi Pajero, not any car and having a holiday, and the last to be specific to Bali. But these things mean more to me than ‘just a luxury car’ and ‘just a holiday’. The car means mainly that I can move around, visit friends and family and the holiday means mainly that I want to have some private time with my loved one as we had when we just met, when we were really in love and the first few years we were together.

And I am crying now, because I still don’t know what exactly went wrong with those things, with my life. We started so well here, being together, starting a business together, moving to our dream house together. And we were so enthusiastic, especially when moving here, ideas about business, parties with friends, holidays indeed. And somehow, somewhere things started falling apart.

And maybe this was all needed to bring me where I am now, start this project, this website, mean something in the world. And yes, I have learned a lot, an awful lot, about life and such. But the price has been enormous and I still don’t fully understand why I deserve where I stand now, feeling like having nothing left, especially financially, especially living the good life, especially just enjoying life. But looking at the ideas that Napoleon Hill describes in Think and Grow Rich it seems that all people, maybe especially successful people, have these deep downs. So I still have hope that it will be alright, that things will be OK soon. But like today and yesterday it’s not easy to see meaning, to be happy, to be positive, to be inspiring. And I’m not sure if I should share what I just wrote right now as sometimes I think you, the world needs leaders who are successful, who look successful and not someone who doesn’t know anymore, at least not yesterday and not until this moment today.

The funny thing right now is though that I am starting to feel better right now as it feels that I should continue this project, that maybe this is the thing that the world needs, as one of my other ambitions, one of my other ideas and maybe my purpose in life is to make the world a better place. As some things, like especially the financial system, doesn’t seem to work. At least not for me right not and not for many people without a job, without any perspective right now. And as I stated in my desire document for this project I want to make people serve each other (again?) in a happy way instead of working for money and focusing on the money as I think most people do, and I did and still do. As that is how the world works, that is what makes the world move right now. And there is nothing wrong with money, but right now, me, an educated experienced person not being able to give services to other people I like to give (and indeed, receive money for that) is plain waste, especially seeing that so many things are not being done, are not being serviced. So money, capitalism, is not the only or not the definite way to make the world go around, at least not in the way we have organized it right now.

So how should it be done, could it be done? I’m not sure, but indeed thinking from ‘giving and receiving’ instead of ‘exchange services for money’ might be a better way of looking how we can do what we like to do and at the same time serve other people. Anyhow, more on that later as we did not prepare the site yet for our ‘receiving’ part. Ah, and yes, I am starting to see more and more that I think most humans have more problems with giving than with receiving.

Something…

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Well, ten minutes ago I still felt like nothing to write here as my mood was very bad and I felt very stressed as I had felt the whole day, no matter what I did or tried to do or tried to think or whatever. So I thought ‘one of those days’ while searching for the daily quote. And somehow I still try to stick with decisions about what to do on a day, no matter how little I plan. And the last few days I wasn’t really keeping these promises even, so tonight, late tonight, I still decided to somehow finish some report that was overdue already for weeks. And I really planned it yesterday, although I did not really ‘decide’ so I had kind of a way out. But today I had promised myself to do it like some real decision, so I had no real option not to do it based on the habit I developed around ‘deciding what to do on a day’.

So what can I learn from this, what can we learn from this. Well, not fully sure, but my habit to ‘finish things I planned on a day’ is a really strong motivator. Somehow I have developed that habit. And it is related to ‘stick with a decision when you have made it’. So those two are really powerful things, even though I use them with a lot of care. But that’s also what it’s actually about I guess, because I am much, much more careful what I decide than ever before and I am much, much more careful what I plan for a day. At the moment I’d rather plan nothing than plan something I won’t finish. So I am looking to ‘extend’ this habit to bigger things. But I know I have to be very careful with that as I think in general I tend to put too much pressure on myself and/or plan too much.

But looking back to the last few months I can really recommend to ‘start small’ with this type of thing if you want to. As of now I think it is much, much more important to stick with decisions no matter how small or unimportant and stick with my daily plan no matter how small than to plan too much and finally fall back to something like ‘doing nothing’ or ‘feeling bad’. So yes, while writing I realize I really developed a habit about daily planning and decision making. And it all started with ‘daily making the bed’, which I think I have done now for almost a year and I never skipped, except maybe on one or two very weird or unusual days. And ‘never skipping’ may mean I make the bed at eight pm or so. But I do make it.

So back to today. Today I basically tried everything to relax a bit, to be a bit happy. And until like half an hour ago it didn’t happen, I didn’t manage to change it, no matter how hard (or not hard) I tried. So I stayed stressed for most of the days as I hadn’t felt stress in a long, long time. And looking back I also still wouldn’t know how I could have changed it earlier. So maybe this is indeed ‘one of those days’ where nothing seems to work, where nothing good seems to happen, where no matter what you do or read or know or whatever, you stay in this very bad mood, in this very stressed feeling.

But now, fortunately, it did change, although while writing this still a little stress comes up in the background. So yes, when you’re in that mood, maybe just stay in it and accept it. Because even knowing that it will be over some time didn’t help me today. But now, right now I know I feel better, quite a bit better, although still not good.

So things will be better. They always will be.