Defeated?

Last Saturday I had an enormous fight with my partner. And it affected me a lot, so I decided to ‘hide’. And in the end I also decided not to write anymore, not here and not in my Dutch blog. And it rarely happens that I don’t write especially my English blog item here, so I guess I was pretty much affected with what happened, even though I am pretty stable again emotionally right now.

And as it was Saturday I decided to postpone my post writing to Sunday, as on Sunday I normally don’t write posts as it is my resting day. But also yesterday, Sunday, I didn’t write a post, as I just didn’t feel like it. As somehow I decided to stay most of the day in hiding, lying on a bed in one of our non-master bedrooms. And I felt kind of bad about all of this, although somehow one of my famous quotes of Napoleon Hill, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”, confirmed that this bad fight, this bad day, had some benefit.

Or even a lot of benefit if I look back. As somehow one of the things that I felt I needed to do the last few days, weeks, was take some time to think, to meditate, to pause. So that’s what I actually did, kind of without knowing it, until in the end I realized that somehow one of my prayers, the thing I had in mind to do, the thing I felt needing to do, somehow had been given to me.

And next to this I started reading Think and Grow Rich again. Especially the chapter about The Brain. As I could not really remember what that chapter was about. And I knew that I did not really make a page about that Principle of Success in this site, only a placeholder as far as I remember. And I was amazed when I read that chapter again. As it read like I was reading it for the first time, as I didn’t remember anything that was written in that chapter, even though it appears to be some kind a copy of things like Infinite Intelligence and Sixth Sense. But it is not, at least that is the feeling I have right now.

And it was strange, continuing reading into the chapter The Sixth Sense, especially to find there, that the Sixth Sense only works when you are familiar in applying the other twelve principles. And also because especially recently I encounter more and more that which is bigger than us, than human beings, the Higher Power. And yesterday I tried to force it, force Infinite Intelligence or the Higher Power or God or whatever you call it, but that doesn’t work. Somehow it needs to come to you, somehow you have to give in and let go of your own will or ego or something.

So strange, how things come to me, even though I somehow feel very down on my way to success, to fame and riches. As that seems further than ever, or no, that’s not true. I just felt it further away recently. But somehow it isn’t somehow I am on the way, at least to something greater, to some greater purpose.

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