I wanted to write about a bad movie I watched tonight. About how much courage, and yes, i guess persistence it takes to have such a movie, any movie made.

But just now, just before writing this post I got a very negative “I don’t want to receive any messages anymore” from a family member. And it hurt a lot, it still hurts right now. Because yes, I just added e-mail addresses to the mailing list for my daily quote. Just to ‘get started’. And of course I know that’s not done. Of course I know that’s kind of spamming. But I thought I had to start somewhere. As I know a site like this, a project like this takes time to attract visitors, takes time for the right people to find it, takes time for people signing up for the daily quote and other things we have in mind. And I just tried to speed up the process a bit. Anyhow, it doesn’t matter what are or were my reasons to add people to the mailing list.

But what hurt me today was that the message sounded so negative. With three exclamation marks at the end. And the person sending it must know the messages come from me, from my project, as the message was in Dutch, while the site and the quotes are in English. So what hurt me was that this person has received my daily quotes for months now. And didn’t complain or asked to be unsubscribed, where at the end of the message there is a line that just indicates to reply if you don’t want the messages anymore. And if I, if we receive such a message, and we received quite some, we immediately mark the e-mail address as ‘unsubscribed’.

So yes, they often say that what a person says to you says more about the person than about you. So this person, this family member has possibly been irritated with my messages, with my behavior, with my situation for a long time or something. Or he or she has or had some issues himself or herself. Or the quote of today hit something or something like that.

But it still hurt, getting a message with such a negative tone after having sent, having received so many daily quotes and some newsletters. Especially from a family member, where I fully felt abandoned by that side of the family last year, when I didn’t know what to do or where to go anymore and considered killing myself.

So yes, I have already been deciding to leave the family behind, to let go. To let go of my mam who I tried to call every week, but who, for the last half year or year or so never called me, even after I told her a few weeks ago that I miss her calling me (not sure if someone told her about this post, but amazingly she called the day after I wrote this post). Especially as she always says her children are the most important, well, ‘things’ in her life. But it doesn’t show. And let go of my sister, who asked me to not contact her anymore, not send SMS, not call, not send e-mail, nothing. Just because I made a mistake, where the mistake was a similar one to i guess the one she made quite some time ago.

So what about the movie I saw tonight, the bad movie. And it was the move Dragon Wolf. And why was it bad? Well, it appeared to be some kind of fighting movie and I don’t like fighting movies. But my partner does, so he bought it, brought it tonight. So i decided to join watching it to create some quality time together, just sit together on the couch and watch a movie, as both of us had been doing our own things during the day and had hardly seen each other.

And just after it started it appeared to be even worse than I expected, as the actors didn’t say their lines in a natural way and the whole thing just appeared to have been written and played very ‘cheap’.

Anyhow, as I still intended to have some quality time with my partner, at least be together after having been separate for most of the day, I decided to continue watching it, even after my partner already indicated that he (also) didn’t like the movie and even considered watching something else.

But while watching this bad movie, bad script, bad acting, cheap production, etc., etc. I started to realize that any movie, even this ‘bad’ movie, has been made using the Principles of Success as described by Napoleon Hill. And that any movie, including this movie, can be considered a success just because it has been made and published. You see, I realized that also this movie started with a thought, a thought from someone who wanted to make this movie. And somehow he or she managed to create a team to make this movie, write the script, organize the making of it, creating all the stuff that is needed to make a movie, hired the actors, found a budget to produce it, etc., etc. So with knowing what i know now there must have been quite some patience, persistence, heart breaks, defeat, etc., etc. involved in the making of this movie. And it was made and produced and published.

So yes, slowly I started to realize that no matter how ‘bad’ I considered this movie to be, at least the making of it, the publishing of it could be considered as a major success. And while writing this it may even be more difficult to make a bad movie with unknown actors and inexperienced directors and production staff than it is to make a nice Hollywood type movie on a large budget with all the people and resources that would be available for such a thing.

And i also realized, not only today, but for quite some time already, that e.g. the first movies of Steven Spielberg were not that good, at least not to current standards. As I happen to like the Back to the Future trilogy and looking at them now those actors are not that good. Or the whole thing was also made on a budget that was just not enough or something. Or some key people, maybe even Steven Spielberg himself, were not that  experienced yet.

So yes, while watching this movie I at least admired the courage and everything else this person, or Master Mind group, had been able to achieve.

And the story I guess was not that bad after all, even though I still don’t fully understand it.

So yes, let’s applaud for all those people having the courage to do something, make something happen, even though the result is not that perfect. At least they tried and made it. And you and I sometimes don’t.

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