For a few days now I have been thinking about writing about Robin Williams. And I guess I am not the only one, which makes me kind of, well, don’t know how to say. As that is how ‘news’ seems to work. Something happens and everybody is starting to write about it and talk about it. So now I am writing about Robin Williams, as that is ‘news’. Meaning I don’t stand out, can’t stand out, as right now many people are writing about Robin Williams.

And again, the more I read about him I am more and more amazed how famous people, rich and famous people, often seem to have problems like drinking problems and/or drug problems. And that many also suffer from depression. And somehow it makes me still annoyed, as I still believe it is better to be sad or depressed in a Mercedes Benz than in a Volkswagen (or in a Jeepney for me right now as I don’t have a car).

So yes, I still want to be rich and famous, but it seems indeed that being rich and/or famous is certainly no guarantee for being happy, for feeling good, even though I believe that someone like Robin Williams must have been better off than the most of us, being rich and famous. But strange also to hear that he had financial problems, as in his case I guess he must have earned enough to live happily ever after if he would have invested it properly. And yes, I can imagine that being a star, being a super star, also makes that your expenses are high. And yes, the more I think about it, being a movie star certainly does not mean having a stable job, as movies are just relatively short projects.

And I am not sure where this post is going. Yes, I am certainly jealous, where the Law of Attraction says that that just brings me further from my goal of being rich and famous. And please keep in mind, I don’t need to be as rich as I think Robin Williams is or has been. I just want to live a decent life with a holiday here and there and the house renovated and especially a car. And yes, most of all paying back my debts, as my debts bother me a lot as somehow I still can’t imagine that I, Guus Ellenkamp, have debts. The Guus Ellenkamp who is very good in saving and accounting and dealing with money, creating safety blankets as my partner calls it.

And yes, I learned a lot from that, from being in debt. As before it was so easy to judge people when they are or were in a bad situation, like having debts. But now I know how it works, that somehow there can be situations in life where you do things you could never imagine doing. Like I also know I can kill someone, I can kill another human being. As that is what I learned when I was stabbed and robbed.

So well, let’s be careful with another. And help each other find a way out. As right now I see no way out of my debts and it makes me very unhappy, it rules my life. And that goes back to that everything I believed in, everything I was taught when I grew up, somehow doesn’t seem to work. So yes, maybe time to change my belief. But I still can’t get out of the guilt, still can’t forgive myself for what I have done. And even if I did, I would still have the debts. So well, what Robin Williams did, and many other people, taking his life, may have been logical. As he may also not have seen a way out.

So let’s help each other, let’s look at each other, let’s check if the other person might be in a situation where he has no way out. And let’s help each other find a way out. As life is supposed to be beautiful, is supposed to be fun. At least that is what I still believe, no matter what and no matter how unhappy I am.

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