Self analysis: question 2

I couldn’t really get going the last few days, including today, so I guess the best way to get out of that is just continuing with what I started last week, answering the self analysis questions from the last chapter of Think and Grow Rich.

But before going to that, the second question, there are still things in my mind, like why am I not moving, why do I, well, feel bad? And ‘they’ say it is all in you, in me, but it feels like some external force has taken over, that I am not supposed to do anything, that I am supposed to rest or something. So strange, and kind of contradictory, what is happening and what I am writing about, as I thought it all starts with me, with you, with desire and autosuggestion and such. But maybe this self analysis, this second question, will give more clarity, so let’s just go to that.

And the second question is “Do you find fault with other people at the slightest provocation?”. And I guess answering that, thinking about that may indeed give some answers. As I notice more and more that I blame other people and circumstances for the situation I am in, that I (still) act like a victim, that I still feel helpless, helpless in getting what I want, helpless in getting what I want in life, helpless getting what I want from life.

So yes, I often find fault with other people. Or maybe even always. Not sure if that is related to provocation or something, but I guess there must be something to that, otherwise Napoleon Hill wouldn’t have included that in the question.

I am turning that around by the way, the fault finding, as I see more and more that what other people do or want or think has nothing to do with me. So why would I feel provoked with anything someone else says or does or thinks?

And not sure what else to write, to answer related to this question, except maybe that I am thinking a lot about things like who I am and what I am doing here on this earth, in this life and if there is indeed some kind of Higher Power I have to answer to. But while writing the last immediately the question arises why I have been given the power of choice, or don’t I have a real choice? Yes, I have, as I could sell the house and immediately solve my financial problems, but I choose not to, as I believe things will be better, as I believe somehow I can turn everything around and stay here and enjoy and let other people enjoy.

But it has been too long, and I kind of gave up, although I am still doing things to make ‘it’ work, to get what I want. But I also didn’t give up, as I am still moving, still getting up, standing up, after falling down again.

But yeah, maybe the answer is indeed in some Higher Power, in Infinite Intelligence.

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