Tag Archives: Life

Too much work

“Too much work”, that was about the first message I got from someone who I was chatting with today. So I asked him what he was doing and he replied “deleting links”. And that reminded me of the ten or twenty e-mails I get every day in my mailbox from SEO companies trying to sell me SEO services. And while writing this it reminds me of the one hundred plus spam type e-mails I get every day. So my reaction was something like “that would be a hard job for me as first (your company) has put the links (and was paid for it) and now you are deleting them (and your company gets paid for it)” as I don’t see much value in following all the Google updates that would make SEO needs different. And my reaction was also something like, can’t we do something more for Inspiration for Success, this website, the project to inspire people, to bring more inspiration to the world. And the reply was something like, yes, but I’m too busy (earning my daily bread) and I don’t have time for that.

And this whole thing made me a bit sad, as many people are being paid for work that doesn’t add anything, doesn’t add any value to the life of people, like building cars or TV’s or even growing food.

But later on I thought a bit further, as today I was quite busy with work (also) and was very happy with that as I’ve not been that busy for quite some time as I couldn’t find enough work, couldn’t fint customers to serve, people to serve (business wise). To thinking further I asked myself if what i was doing, what I am doing is so much different from what my friend was doing. As these new jobs are also related to SEO and related to ‘selling’, to ‘advertising’. And while thinking now I am quite often working on pages, on websites where the main purpose or even the sole purpose is SEO. And one of my jobs of today was finding content writers to write articles where the only purpose of the articles is to create a quality link to the site of one of my customers.

So what I was working on today, what I am working on most of the time may not be that different of what my friend was doing, is doing. So yes, I started to ask myself if what I was doing is really different and why. As I presume I’m doing quality work, quality link building. But it may not be that different after all.

So let’s think if what we are doing is really useful, really adding something for the benefit of people, either ourselves or other people.

Flow again

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Very weird what is happening lately and especially today. Somehow things are starting to flow again, not that empty feeling of ‘nothing is coming back’, not that feeling that I’m only giving, that only things are going out, energy is going out, but more the opposite, that things are coming in, that energy is coming in.

And the weird thing is that i didn’t ‘do’ anything. It just somehow happened and it is kind of following some more positive stuff that started a few days, or maybe weeks ago. So if this is supposed to be an inspiring post I’m not sure what to tell you you should ‘do’, how you would be able to change your energy when you’re in some kind of downturn.

Or maybe just indeed tell you that those things don’t last forever and that you don’t have as much control as you think you have or think you should have. So that sometimes, or maybe just always, it’s better to let things be, let thing go as they are going.

And somehow I’m not saying like you shouldn’t do anything when you’re in a down mood or in a down period, even though that’s how it sounds like that (and also feels a bit to me now and before).

So very confusing and maybe it’s indeed some kind of shift in energy in the world as I read about a few days ago (and wrote about).

So today kind of started (or ended) with music. And while before I had the feeling only energy went out, and before meaning a long, very long time where I felt I had no control and just remembered something like ‘sowing seeds’ so I could reap later on, which I did, today I felt like I was receiving a lot, just receiving something like ‘energy’.

And while listening to music, somehow starting with playlists I already have and ending playing stuff from artists with ‘T’, I just started crying, thanking The Universe for sending me this music, that special thing that has been created by so many people and, indeed, performed, vocalized by musicians, artists.

And I felt how everything connects together, these old songs, written and sang a long, long time ago and now being played from just my server network. And I was thinking about all the artists who sang these songs, and probably only once for the recording. And about all the people involved in converting this song into a record or CD (or tape). And about the music industry that connected the writers and the singers and the musicians and technicians, etc., etc. And about copyright and how right now all these things are just available to me. Something like 25,000++ songs that I just keep on my hard drive and can just play whenever I want. And for most, like 99.9% or more I didn’t even pay the artists or the people involved in creating and distributing the songs. So I felt this enormous energy, this enormous power of human music history coming to me, being with me, right at that moment, an hour ago or so. And I felt the energy of the artists singing and playing at concerts, something I never attended, but I can imagine with what power musicians ‘do’ their performance.

So yes, that’s what Napoleon Hill talks about when talking about ‘giving’ and indeed, also getting the benefits in the form of the ‘big money’, even though I’m starting to realize that even for most famous artists that’s only temporary.

And yes, I felt like wanting to ‘give back’ let this energy I felt from this music coming to me and all the things around it, all those people, all those years, all that history coming towards me with enormous power. So how quick can your system fill up when you feel empty by just playing music (or using anything else) and realizing how much ‘organized effort’ is behind it. So yes, it also made me feel humble, like one human being can do so little.

So how can i give back, that’s what came to my mind. And I’m not fully sure, as I’m just a simple web developer, not a musician or something. But I guess also the musician can do so much and only for a limited amount of time (in my mind is now Céline Dion who I saw in a movie, backstage). But yes, they gave and give more than I do now, did recently, or maybe all my life. So maybe they deserve more, I’m not sure.

But yes, it’s also a flow, like if the flow is not there, as it hasn’t been there for me for a long time, you can’t do anything. And yes, if the flow is there, like I felt this evening, you can do anything, give anything, even those great performances, in whatever occupation you are.

Politicians, employers, managers, employees and more

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When I was younger I always hated managers. As according to my experience they didn’t do much and earned high salaries, higher than people in technical jobs, more working type jobs. So I was kind of jealous and didn’t understand exactly what they were doing. I mean, I was and am more of a worker, doing the work, the thing that’s really important, the thing that ‘produces’. And over time I also started to hate salespeople. As they also just seemed to talk and have high salaries, often even commission based, something that wouldn’t really make me move, something like commission.

And then politics, I also didn’t really understand. As politicians all seem to be somehow dishonest people, people defending points of view they might not even support, people voting for things they might not agree with. How can you do that, how can you live with yourself doing things you don’t agree with, defending things you don’t agree with.

But slowly I started to understand that politics have a function in society. And that politicians have a role in that, that politicians are needed to play the political game, to make decisions that are virtually impossible to take for a person like me. So slowly I started to admire politicians, started to appreciate that there are people who can be, who want to be a politician. As of course there may be politicians who just want the fame, the name, the importance or whatever. But I guess most of them are just doing their job, are just trying to make these impossible decisions related to what people want, impossible decisions around benefiting groups at the cost of other groups. As somehow that is the right thing to do, decide something for the ‘common good’, even though you know this is going to hurt people, this is going to affect people in a negative way.

The same applies to doctors, medical staff deciding about life and death, especially after a disaster where there is not enough capacity or medicines or whatever is needed to save the lives of all people that need treatment. They would make these decisions who lives or dies, and still live with that. Which I guess is not as easy as it seems, no matter how they would normally point to ‘training’ and ‘procedures’ and such. But in the end I’m quite sure all of them would somehow being affected, having made decisions about treatments or who lives or who dies. In the end it’s still about people.

So yes, I started to appreciate politicians and doctors as they are doing things I don’t like to do, and as a person might not even be able to do anyway as I would be too much affected with the things they do, the decisions they make, have to make.

The thing with the managers I never fully understood. But somehow I realize that managers, especially good managers, get things done where I somehow don’t get things done. So yes, they do have value, even more than me, much more than me as stated in Think and Grow Rich about people who can get things done, can get other people to perform.

And the thing with marketing and sales people I am also starting to understand. As ‘selling’ or ‘buying’ is not only about having the product or service available. It’s also communicating the value of the product or service between buyers and sellers. And yes, that’s what I learned, especially after having ran my own business, is needed next to the product or service. Communicating about it, preferably before the deal is made.

So yes, slowly I am starting to see that there are good reasons why society, why governments, why companies are organized as they are. That indeed all those roles that exist need to be fulfilled to get things done, to serve people.

But somehow there is one thing I don’t fully understand. And that is why some people, many people, all people are being paid differently. Or not that they are being paid differently, but why, e.g. a not so hard working manager is being paid more than a very hard working laborer. As they both do their best, they both do best what they’re good at. So why would the one just doing what he is good at be paid more than the one working very hard, doing extra effort, who is not that good to deserve the higher pay.

And I don’t have the answers. And this is just what it is right now. But somehow I have the feeling it can be organized better. As the current wealth doesn’t seem to be distributed properly with our current payment system.

So maybe yes, maybe you can think with me and put some comments on how we could organize this better, that e.g. hard work would be paid a bit more, versus that only work clever or efficient would be paid more.

Change in energy

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A few days ago I read about a (spiritual) change in energy someone felt. And I think I can also feel it, I also felt it the last few days, the last few weeks. Something seems to have changed for the good, in the world. And it doesn’t change in one setting, it doesn’t change from ‘bad’ to ‘good’ in one switch, in one instant. As the last week I felt kind of terrible and it just started to change back to ‘good’ yesterday or the day before. And yesterday and today I also still didn’t feel fully OK, especially after waking up.

Fish

But tonight, while doing my ‘IFS‘ things I slowly started to feel the peace, the sounds of nature, the insects within the quiet, the things here that are so beautiful, that make this place kind of into heaven. And I still miss to share that, share that again. But now from a positive perspective, from peace, from ‘positive being’ and not from fear and worry as I used to do before. And it’s weird as I have no clue how to get there. I know now more what I want, more than ever. But practically spoken it is further from me than ever at the same time. ‘Reality’ tells me, or better ‘people’ tell me that I need to be real, that I need to be practical. And maybe I should, maybe I’m just heading towards more trouble, more towards things I don’t want.

But somehow I think more and more that I should stick to what I want, to my dreams, not give up, but be persistent, be patient. As I see more and more who I am. And that maybe I’m just a dreamer, someone who doesn’t (want to) see ‘reality’. But where would we be without dreamers, without dreams. We would still walk in animal skins or maybe even be more like animals, like apes. We would not have our daily food and other needs being given to us, and that even applies to virtually all poor people as who in the world still caters for 100% for their own food and clothes and other basic needs? And we wouldn’t have gone to the moon and there wouldn’t be cars and planes, let alone medicines. So yes, the more I think about it, the more I read about it, everything, literally everything we see around us, literally everything we are started with a dream, a thought. So should I stop dreaming, should you stop dreaming, even if it’s about things that people tell us is not ‘reality’. But we create reality, reality consists just of beliefs that have been practiced (Abraham Hicks) or the choices humanity and Infinite Intelligence or God or the Universal Consciousness made, choices you and I make.

So let’s keep dreaming. And in my own experience the more I dream, the more I want(ed) things for myself, the more I also realized in the end I (also) want to give. Yes, I want to stay in this house and yes, I like the house also because I like to show off with a big house. But I also want to share the place, invite friends, family, maybe even strangers as the place is so beautiful and it’s typically a place, a house to share. And yes, I want a big car, a black Pajero, big and that type because it’s expensive and I want to show off. But the more I thought and think about it I mainly want a car so I can move around again and visit friends or go to the beach with the dogs and (sometimes) with friends, just to enjoy, enjoy life. And to just go to the city, to be able to roam around easier, for business and pleasure. And yes, some money, not money for the money, but just money to buy new shoes and new clothes and some new stuff for my partner. And to repair the house as it’s so sad to see such a beautiful house fall apart, a house where there have been so many parties and so many people enjoyed the view and each others company. And yes, some money to just buy the food and drinks to create those parties, as at the moment I’m too embarrassed to invite anybody, in the house as it is and without proper food and drinks worthy of the house, and of course of the people.

And some simple things like a camera. Just a simple one. Not for myself as I don’t like taking pictures. But just to be able to take some pictures to share on this site, like the water system pictures I need for the first real proper page I made and I can’t finish right now because I can’t make the pictures I want to put.

And I feel guilty now, as asking things like this is ‘not done’, especially not for yourself. What crazy world do we live in, that we limit each other for ‘having’ things. What’s wrong with wanting a Pajero, or even a Rolls-Royce, but the last I don’t even want. Or wanting a big house or, indeed a lot of money. Why do we deny these things to each other. These things we all want. Where did we ever create the idea that it’s ‘bad’ to want things, material things. And why would we need to ‘earn’ these things through ‘hard work’. Again, the more I think about it it’s just crazy. Neither of us is even able to create a simple breakfast on his or her own. That is why we organized the world into what it now is. And this is the first time in history I believe we, as humanity, have the (technical) knowledge and ability to produce virtually anything that anybody would want or need. And we stick with this outdated ‘earning’ and ‘work hard’ thing.

I am dying to give my services to people, to develop websites and web applications and do some internet marketing so things can be ‘found’ on the internet by people looking for stuff or information. And all around me I see companies, shops, dying to sell their stuff. Supermarkets are full of food and anything else what anybody could even imagine. And, I think I’m repeating myself, most of the things I see around me I don’t need and don’t even want. So the idea of scarcity, that there is not enough for everybody is just a thought, just a perception. And it may be true there is not enough, as I don’t know figures about needs and wants of people and production capacity available or needed to produce all of that.

But even if it is true I’m quite sure technically we could produce, create everything anybody would want or need. So yes, I’m really to believe in these ideas about abundance, that there is enough for everybody and that that all can be done without harming other people or the environment.

So let’s find a way out of this mess, this way of thinking of ‘scarcity’ and the idea that people are greedy and want ‘everything’. I’m quite sure most people are like me, and don’t want everything that’s availalbe in supermarket or anywhere else.

Everybody is normal

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I just found on the internet someone telling about being bipolar. And I read about him having been confined in some kind of institution. And while reading the Wikipedia article on bipolar disorder I recognize things of myself. E.g. I guess most people might think my ideas about this website and my goals with it are out of the ordinary. And I guess they are. And knowing me and reading my posts you may read about me being desperate sometimes. Also people have considered me having Asperger Syndrome or something. And yes, as far as I know many people consider me as being introvert, another box being put in. And yes, I am gay, another thing people may like or not like, but again, yes, it puts me in a box.

But what is this, that ‘we’ put each other in boxes. What is this that ‘we’ try to ‘cure’ everybody who has treats that are out of the ordinary. Or at least somehow ‘mark’ people with certain treats and have some positive or negative opinion related to it, e.g. if someone is gay.

And I don’t have all the answers, as someone killing people because he has some ‘disorder’ I wouldn’t know what to do with except indeed probably locking him or her up in a place where he or she can do no harm to other people. And one of the major treats someone can have I don’t have any clue of how to deal with is someone being pedophile. As I guess for most people the sexual urge is one of the biggest drivers in life, one of the highest needs to fulfill. And being gay I know that sexual orientation is just something you ‘have’, at least for me it’s just a feeling, it’s just something that’s part of me and that feels like being unchangeable, feels like just ‘being part of me’, feels like it belongs to me.

So somehow I have thought a lot about being a pedophile. I presume when you are a pedophile you just also have their sexual orientation, just like me or you. So of course you would want, need to express that as I presume it’s the same type of urge most people have and if not met it would cause a lot of problems, at least it does for me. But yes, I agree, having sex with children in a way a pedophile would need does not fit my ideas of what is appropriate, what ‘should be’ as I indeed believe children should not experience sex in that way. But where does that put a pedophile? In my opinion in quite an impossible situation as he or she cannot express his or her sexual feelings in an appropriate way, although as far as I know there are also situations or cultures that would allow the behavior, the grown ups having sex with children.

Anyhow, that’s not really what I wanted to write about, about pedophiles, but for a long time already I have in mind to raise some understanding, sympathy, empathy for people being pedophile. Because their situation must be awful, making it virtually impossible to live a proper life.

So what did I want to write about? Well, I’m not a psychologist or something, but it seems that we try to put more and more ‘marks’ on people, like how they differ from the average Joe. And if it has some kind of inconvenience for society or other people we often want to ‘treat them’, cure them. But why? And who decides what’s normal and what’s abnormal. And why would we want to treat them or mark them as ‘abnormal’. As one of the first things I learned in biology class, as far as I remember our biology teacher even started the whole subject with it: everybody is abnormal, as everybody is different. That’s how we are built. That’s how the world was built.

So let’s be careful putting each other in boxes, in trying to change each other. Let’s first see what’s really there and appreciate it, in the other, the other person. And also constantly monitor the line between ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’, where in the last case I mean when to decide when to ‘treat’ people or in the worst case lock them up. As in the end everybody is normal, as being different is part of being normal, being human.