Problems to be solved

The question “Do you deliberately avoid the association of anyone, and if so, why?” is a tough one to answer in public, as since that question is in my mind I realize there are quite some people I avoid or am scared of.

So I am not fully sure if I deliberately avoid the association with people, but I do deliberately avoid people because I am scared of them. And that kind of worries me, as it means I have issues I am avoiding, issues I don’t want to deal with. And it means that I lack self confidence, lack courage to deal with things I am not proud of, mistakes I made.

So do I also deliberately avoid the association of anyone? I guess so, but right now I don’t remember any specific sample of that.

So maybe go back to the avoidance of certain people, which I certainly do. And I have one specific person in mind I am avoiding as I am keeping a secret from her. Or actually I am not literally hiding something from her, but I feel very uncomfortable she doesn’t know something.

So what am I exactly scared of? Well, I guess of losing more than I already lost, especially the house. So this does go back to the fear of poverty.

And I am not fully sure if I should tell my secret, as it may just create the thing I am scared of, even though I realize recently my problem became worse where I have been working on solving this issue last year, but recently I ran out of money again, causing more and more problems, where I thought I was on the way solving them.

So well, tough question, at least the issues it brings into focus with me.

But the whole thing still goes back to things I think I cannot control, like money coming in, having income. And that is where the ideas of Napoleon Hill are conflicting with my experience, although he mentions things related to my situation, like you may be forced to temporarily be dishonest.

So there is some big issue here, as this question makes me feel very uncomfortable and might touch the basics of my (current) problems.

And not sure how to continue now, except the word courage comes into mind. And the word doubt, related to the ‘not sure’ I just wrote.

So work to do here, as there are certainly answers around my avoidance of certain people. And related to that avoidance of looking at problems to be solved.

I don’t want to continue my post from yesterday today as I just don’t feel like it. So maybe tomorrow… And no, I don’t intent to procrastinate, I just don’t feel like it.

And the main reason is that I was reading some stuff from Scott Dinsmore who started Live Your Legend. And I notice there are some similarities and some differences between him, his goals, his dreams, his thinking, his site, or actually sites and me. And I guess the main difference is that he wants to help people, from his heart. And I just want to be successful, live my own life, have fun. And yes, of course I also want to help people, but it seems not in the same way as other (successful?) people. As it seems they are doing it by heart, as a definite purpose, and I do it for my own benefit. I just want to be happy and I believe I need success for it, I need to be successful to be happy, or maybe to be free.

And right now I kind of stopped, as I don’t know how to continue. As I wanted to talk about marketing, the marketing of Inspiration for Success, marketing through guest posts. Or actually a guest post to Zen Habits. As I read that that made the site of Scott Dinsmore take off, a guest post on Zen Habits. And/or guest posts to other large and famous sites of other bloggers. And I am getting scared now as I just read in a flash searching for that page, that guest post, that Leo Babauta wrote ten guest posts a month or something when he just started, next to the stuff he wrote for his own site. As that’s not what I have in mind. I am not a writer like Scott Dinsmore or Leo Babauta wanting to write stuff to help people. If it would help people anyhow. So maybe that’s the issue here, maybe I need to define better what I want. As if I’m doing something I don’t want, I’m not passionate about, it will never work.

So let’s brainstorm:

Originally I wanted Inspiration for Success to be a site, a project, to inspire people, especially people who had or have no one inspiring them. And yes, I still want that.
Next to that I want to program, like building the plugins I needed for this site, the one for SEO and the one for sending the daily quotes.
Then I wanted traffic, mainly to know that I am doing something useful, that people read my stuff. Or use my plugins.
And yes, related to that, I want to be famous, I want people to know me, which would confirm I achieved something. This confirmation would mean I am successful, which I don’t consider myself right now.
And finally I want financial success as that would mean financial freedom and that would mean freedom to do the things I want to do in life, like traveling.

And I guess that’s about it. That’s all.

Ah, yes, I also want to just work, do work that suits me, that makes me happy and that also makes other people happy. That is even a phrase in my desire document. And that is a major thing for me, as most of my life I did the work I liked, but nobody seemed to appreciate it, at least not in the end.

So how bad do I want all of that? Well, pretty bad, as I spend most of my time on it, even more than I like as I hardly make time for pleasure and friends. But there are some major hurdles that I was never able to surpass and the main hurdle is that I can’t seem to keep people, inspire people, build a team or something. So I’m doing most of the things, the work alone, and I realize more and more that that is not effective.

But then again, it seems Leo Babauta and Scott Dinsmore and many other famous bloggers also started alone. And sometimes still do most things alone. And it seems that Leo Babauta is pretty successful in my terms as he seems to have achieved financial success with his blog, but if I read most of his posts he is still struggling with many things similar to me (and you?). Ah, yes, you may have noticed, I am pretty jealous of him. And also of the many other (successful) bloggers with many followers.

But while writing the last I may not have to be jealous, as I am not a blogger in the way they are. It is not my thing to write posts, good posts, good content to inspire people, advise them or something. Yes, my thing is writing every day, but that is more to have learned and now have a ‘good’ habit, nothing more, nothing less. And to write software, programs, maybe plugins, which is also what I did, including my stuff to handle the top inspirational sites and top motivational sites overviews. And yes, I still want to extend that with stuff to connect people, the two categories of people I have in mind: people who want to inspire other people and people who want or need inspiration from other people.

So well, the idea that comes into my mind is to just ask Scott Dinsmore and Leo Babauta if they are willing to help me with the things I want. As yes, I guess I have quite some stuff to give also, like my overview of inspirational sites and this whole site with a lot of content. So maybe I should stop focusing on the things I don’t have or am not good at, like connecting to people or working with people and things like writing guest posts.

Let’s just ask.

Tag Archives: Ask for help

Self analysis, question 5

Guest post