Tag Archives: The Other and I

Self analysis, question 47

Today’s question is “Could it be possible that some person whom you consider to be a friend is, in reality, your worst enemy, because of his negative influence on your mind?”. And again the first thing that comes to my mind is my partner, as he is often opposed to everything I do and often calls me all kinds of things which I certainly don’t consider positive.

But there are other people like this also, as I found out that my mam also seems to have a very negative influence on my mind. And while writing this there may be others.

And this whole thing makes me think that it may be indeed of the utmost importance to close our minds for negative influences of other people.

And I tend to avoid people in those cases, but I don’t think that’s the solution.

So let’s find a shield.

Self analysis question 45

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Ah, the self analysis question of today is one I don’t like to answer. As it is the question “If you believe that ‘birds of a feather flock together’, what have you learned about yourself by studying the friends whom you attract?”. But maybe this ‘trying to avoid’ means there is something important going on here, so maybe I am onto something if I answer this question carefully and analyze the answer.

And the reason that I don’t like this question is that I don’t have any friends, or at least that is how it appears to me. So when I answer the question I would have to answer that I don’t attract people as friends.

However, on second thought the question starts with something else. It start with whether I believe in the saying that birds of a feather flock together. And I am not sure if I believe in that. Or actually I don’t, as I think I believe more in the idea of ‘opposites attract’. As e.g. my partner is, or appears to be, the complete opposite of me. Although I believe that is also not true, as we may be more similar than I think as he is also pretty introvert and doesn’t have many real friends. And yes, he is very sociable and I am not, so he has many friends and I have not. But knowing him he probably also doesn’t have many or even any who really know him, whom he really shares everything with.

And I am not sure how to continue right now, as I am thinking about things like “what is a friend”? And to me a friend is someone you can share anything with, and I used to know people like that. And yes, I still know them, but I didn’t stay in touch as that is not easy from The Philippines and without money (to travel and visit them). As it is not easy to stay in touch through e-mail and Skype and such, even though of course modern technology has made it much easier to stay in touch with people far away. But meeting in person and meeting regularly is still different.

And yes, it worries(?!) me that I don’t seem to have any friends, as I believe friends are very important. And I have been thinking about this for quite a while and also have been trying to do something about it, but until now I have not really succeeded finding new friends.

Ah, and this is a tough one, this question, this post, as indeed there are some major issues here I may want or need to address. And yes, I guess it also goes back to my codependency, not able to share or show emotions or ask for help.

So let’s call it quits for today as I am also very tired and need some rest. But I may have something here to work on, some weakness to address I guess.

Self analysis question 44

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I decided to go back to the self analysis questions after some intermezzo with some other stuff. An intermezzo mainly because of our sick dog that was at the vet and that cost me a lot of time and energy. And this also may point to some weaknesses of mine: being quite emotional and only being able to focus on one thing most of the time, like focusing as if there is nothing else.

But let’s finish this online self analysis and today’s self analysis question is “Do you feel it your duty to share other people’s worries? If so, why?”.

And of course I have seen this question many times before, but until now I don’t fully get what it means, or what the answer would mean.

And the first thing that comes into my mind is that I don’t feel it my duty to share other people’s worries as everybody has his or her own life with his or her own worries. And no, I don’t think it is our duty to take over other people’s worries.

However, I do feel it my duty to understand other people and try to help them if possible. As in the end I guess we are here to help each other.

But no, still no real feeling related to this question, or it’s answer.

So today I think I’ll pass.

Self analysis, question 39

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I just got an e-mail I don’t like so much as it is a request for additional information about mistakes I have made. And it makes me scared and it also annoys me, as I could have never made the mistakes if I wouldn’t have taken the responsibility I took. So I am quite affected by this in a negative way as I hoped I would have gotten away with my mistakes but apparently I didn’t.

So what does this mean? Should I have never taken this responsibility? I guess not. And what have I learned from it? Well, not sure, as I believe I still make similar mistakes.

Anyhow, maybe just go with today’s self analysis question, as I am trying to develop the habit of not dealing with things straight away, like dealing with this e-mail or answering it right now. But I do feel very uncomfortable right now, but maybe today’s question will help me get some more clarity on this.

And today’s question is “Do you form your own opinions or permit yourself to be influenced by other people”? And I guess this certainly relates to the situation related to the e-mail, as my own opinion is that I made mistakes, but the other side also made mistakes. And other involved parties made mistakes. And I am certainly influenced by other people in this case as I take their opinions so serious that I am really affected by it.

Ah, and another opinion of myself is that I still don’t know how I could have done things differently as given the same situation, the same circumstances I would probably do the same.

And how would I make up for the mistakes, correct the mistakes? Well, that is a very difficult question that I don’t know how to answer, as I don’t see any reasonable way to correct the mistakes. And I am quite sure the other party or parties involved would know how I should correct the mistakes. But I don’t agree with that opinion. As they are not me and don’t know my exact situation, don’t know what I feel, where I stand, why I did and do what I did and do.

And this all goes back to that we all grow up by experiencing others opinions, about right and wrong for example.

So what is really ‘my’ opinion?

Self analysis, question 35

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Another question I don’t like and don’t fully understand: “Do you encourage people to bring their worries to you for sympathy”? And that raises the question if I am answering these questions for someone else like ‘what do they mean with this and what answer would they expect’ or that I am just answering the question just by myself to know more about myself.

And the answer to the last is that I want to answer this question to ‘score well’ on, yes, who’s scoreboard?

So I am asking myself if it would be a positive or a negative (towards leadership, towards success) to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ which of course is completely out of the question. Or isn’t it?

Anyhow, I guess the real answer is that I don’t encourage people to bring their worries to me (for sympathy). At least that is what I think right now. But (some?) people do bring their worries to me, like my mam. And I don’t like it, as it just feels she is complaining (instead of helping me, being there for me).

And no, I don’t have much sympathy for people I guess. I do admire people when they are successful, but I merely pity people who are not successful.

So implicitly I pity myself as I don’t consider myself successful.

And all of this makes me think I may want to change something here like be more open to other peoples worries and such.

As I think that would be an improvement.