The last weeks have been tiring because of my internet problems at home, in my office. And especially the message from my main internet Service Provider, Smart, hit me hard. I understood that I would either need to bear with my bad connection or look for another service provider.

And my fear is that i will never have internet access again from my home, from my office again. But of course that’s not true.

And this whole thing of a company that has served me so well for many years suddenly telling me they don’t want me anymore hit me hard as a person. And yes, I know it’s business and solving the technical problem might be expensive as it seems that the current technical solution is at it’s limit due to changes in the environment or something. But especially with internet access you don’t have so many options, especially in some locations like mine, where as far as i know Smart is basically the only, or at least the best option.

And it also hit me hard as for me it has been always very hard to find customers. So I am sometimes stunned when companies are not accepting me, not accepting all customers or just refuse to serve them, even if they could.

And i am still wondering if it’s just me and my situation and my choice to live here are causing these kind of problems. But even then, even if I were the only one, then why not just find a solution and get me back online again? I know I am ‘just’ one of the many, many customers from Smart and they could easily do without me. But the risk is they may lose me forever as a customer and e.g. writing here could do some damage to their brand, their name.

And the more I look around me I see businesses not serving their customers as well as they could, or as i think they should. And it keeps me thinking why those businesses are successful and why mine is not, especially lately, where I decided to put more focus on customer satisfaction, on really doing my best to serve my customers the best I can. But somehow the Universe doesn’t seem to make that easier, as lately, without decent internet access at home, I often had to go to the city, to an internet cafe to do or finish my work.

And it makes me think of what Napoleon Hill states “I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure, unless built upon trugh and justice; therefore, I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects.”. So this must apply to Smart and the people within and the leaders of Smart. But as of the moment I’m not sure, as them leaving me behind and not solving the problems with my connection certainly doesn’t benefit me. And not solving it also doesn’t benefit them.

And next to this I have been thinking what this adversity, this heartache carries for me in equivalent or greater benefit. As a famous quote of Napoleon Hill is also “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit”. But right now I just don’t see it, even though I am starting to see that this whole exercise that started with receiving and reading Think and Grow Rich makes me look more for the opportunities and somehow makes my mindset more positive.

And I am sorry as this post is a bit chaotic. But I’m just human, just like you and me, and just very tired of this additional setback, where just as I had found some new customers, just started some new projects, I lost my normal internet access that caused me an awful lot of hassle and cost me an awful lot of time.

And I am still amazed with all those people who didn’t read Think and Grow Rich, who didn’t think about their definite purpose or goals in life, who didn’t make it specific, where I did. And they seem so much happier or more easy going than me. It seems that I’m just struggling, still struggling, like I have done most of my life. The road towards success seems so endless, so tiring, so exhausting.

But yes, I also often forget how far I have gotten. When writing my desire document the most important thing I wrote in there was impossible. And now it’s just there and only one and a half year passed. And indeed, I didn’t even really do much effort for it.

And yes, the idea of having your life, the rest of your life, to reach your goal, your definite purpose, is very comforting. The idea of just not giving up until you get there, no matter what. That’s a very powerful idea and often keeps me going.

What about you? Did you write down your goal or goals and set specific dates for them? And do you read your desire document aloud every day? Did you even think about your definite purpose in life? If not, you may want to do that, as when reading my desire document now, it has come alive and gives me structure and shows me how i can look at things like those internet troubles i have right now.

So yes, you may consider that, even though I’m not the most successful person ever yet. But somehow, no matter my complaints, I am stronger now and am still gaining strength, by just doing those things, taking time to think about those things.

So better start now.

And yes, I found the courage to get moving again today and fortunately internet seems to work good enough in the afternoon right now.

• Tweet