Tag Archives: Have to

My own time

Today was a bit a strange day as I just came back from a short holiday yesterday, but I felt I needed some time for myself as the holiday felt kind of mandatory because my partner decided to celebrate his birthday somewhere else, so I felt obliged to join him there to be there for him.

So after all my obligations before my ‘holiday’ and my ‘obliged holiday’ today I finally decided to have a day off and not do the things I planned to do like starting work straight away, even though I did some little things that one could consider work.

And it was strange when somehow I started playing music, something I do sometimes if I want to have some time for myself. And it made me happy as it mostly does. So I continued playing music and shared a bit of that on Facebook.

So yes, a human being needs some time for himself or herself, as today I finally felt a bit more relaxed after doing some things I wanted to do, doing some things I just enjoy doing, something I don’t often do.

So a lost day? I don’t think so.

And probably I will continue working again tomorrow, but thinking right now I may just postpone that a bit more. Until it really feels good.

Another post

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Already for a few days I wanted to write something else than about the self analysis questions so just now I decided to do that just now. And the funny thing is right now I don’t really have a subject in mind where the last few days I had. And right now I am even distracted as I am working to understand how to develop (Android) apps, something I didn’t do for a long time: learning a new programming language and/or tool. So not sure if that’s a good thing, but at least I’m excited to know to learn that, even though it is costing a lot of time to get started, as usual, but this time even more than usual as the setup of Android programs appears very weird and complicated at first.

But I know I will learn fast and soon I won’t know any better. And yes, of course I am thinking of complaints again, as to me these things are big things, things like learning a new software framework. And I never understand why people, especially commercial people, are so easy on that, as it is a big investment, at least to me.

Anyhow, I’m tired and don’t really feel like writing here, but at least I’m having fun and am learning something new, something people have been pushing me for for a long time: apps.

Charity

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I often get a very negative feeling when I think of ‘charity’. As somehow I believe ‘charity’ does not work, like just giving money or something ‘to the poor’. And I arrived at the subject charity as I offered to help a friend with his website for the SEMP Association. And no, my offer to help him was not really ‘charity’, but just like helping him with building a nice website as I can’t stand websites that are not built properly. So I offered to help him as a sponsor, which while thinking about it, just means I want something in return, that it is not just ‘giving’.

So when working on ‘charity’ of course when thinking about what inspirational quote to send today I searched for ‘inspirational quote charity’ and ended up on the page charity quotes. And seeing the quotes there made me realize that I am not the only one who has ‘problems’ with charity. And especially this one struck me:

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

As when talking about giving for charity I mostly feel obliged to just give ‘as one is just expected to give if others are in need’. And mostly that doesn’t feel good for me, especially as I am also much in need of especially money. And yes, I still have access to cash, so I can ‘give’, even money, but it doesn’t feel good to ‘give’ when I am getting deeper and deeper into financial shit with slowly an enormous interest burden, especially related to my current income. So anything I ‘give’ for charity just adds up to my future financial burden, as I need to borrow it, meaning I need, or actually want, to pay it back and it adds to my interest to be paid.

But let’s not talk about me and of course it’s okay to help people if they are in need, especially after some kind of disaster or personal mishap. And yes, I also do that, even in my current situation where I don’t feel comfortable in my financial situation. But I am starting getting more doubts about development aid or ‘giving to the poor’. As that just doesn’t seem to work. And while reading the quotes I also got some more clue why I mostly get an uneasy feeling if a rich actor or other famous person ‘gives for charity’. As of course it is easy for Bill Gates to give ten or twenty million dollar. He wouldn’t even notice as as far as I know he has much, much more. Where to me as of the moment it is very hard to give anything, as I don’t even have enough to support myself and my household.

And going back to the beginning, looking at sponsorship of course that is mainly in the interest of the sponsor. And development aid is as far as I know also not just ‘giving’, but often in the interest of the country or the companies in the country giving it. Like it has to be spent on certain things or with certain companies or within a certain country.

So it seems something doesn’t add up with ‘charity’. And of course I am also thinking about my ‘give and receive‘ idea.

So more thoughts to follow about this.

A little stressed and tired

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Today I was a little bit stressed and tired. And I am not fully sure why, as I had a good weekend and ‘should have’ (imagine what I am stating here) been fully rested and such (for the new week). And while writing this I am starting to realize more and more how crazy it is what I am writing here, as why should a weekend day be that different, or at least ‘better’ than a weekday.

I still believe life should be enjoyed, and somehow we have programmed the world to make a separation between ‘work’ and ‘pleasure’. How crazy can we be?

And yes, I guess in ancient times ‘work’ might have been really necessary just to survive. But I doubt if ‘work’ (hunting and such) was considered as stressful as most (working) people consider it today.

And yes, I do take breaks, as you may or may not know that on Sundays I normally don’t send my daily quote and I don’t write my (daily) blog posts and neither do I update my gratitude diary. And on Sundays I normally don’t work, I normally don’t turn on my (working) computer. As indeed I believe that humans need something like a weekly break from their daily routine. And yes, I often feel obligations as ‘work’ or ‘stress’, including my daily activities related to Inspiration for Success. And yes, I ‘worked’ yesterday, because I just felt like it, because I just thought it was fun to turn on my computer and do some work type stuff.

So well, it seems we have something interesting here, because the question rises if my ‘working’ on yesterday was (part of) my stress today. And I don’t know the answer to that, as there are some other stress things going on right now, which I think have much more influence on me than the stuff I did yesterday and I did not consider ‘work’.

Still interesting how I started this post, the thought of separating ‘work’ and ‘pleasure’ as most of us normally do. And how we should deal with that in the future. As I believe humanity somehow has past the point of ‘needing to work’, probably deeply rooted in the ideas of the bible, the bible that I believe still defines most of our culture, at least Western culture.

So let’s think a bit more about this and how to organize this. As that is one of the main reasons for this blog, this site: not linking ‘work’ and ‘income/money’ to ‘fulfilling needs and wants’. As these things have nothing to do with each other, at least not anymore, in 2014.

Holiday

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I am on holiday and that makes me think more and more whether I should insist, read ‘force myself’, to keep writing every day in periods like this. As I guess everybody needs a holiday every now and then free from everything. But somehow I also want to stick to my decision to write every day here, as somehow that is what I have decided. And according to Napoleon Hill some kind of stubbornness is better than, well, whatever. So yes, I am kind of stubborn here, forcing myself to write every day, send a quote every day, where somehow everything seems to be against it, including the Universe, including Infinite Intelligence.

And yes, I know there is fear behind, the fear of letting go, the fear of not continuing here what I started, continuing writing about success, about my road to success. And part of it is discipline, something I am not good at, or at least was not good at. So I am scared to lose that discipline again, to lose the skill to start something and continuing it, finishing it.

But of course with a blog or a site like this there is no ‘finish’. And somehow, one day, I’ll have to stop writing or at least change something. At least as the last few months it is not really working what I am doing here, except proving to myself, well, that I am still stubborn.

So yes, maybe it is time to find some new way of doing this, continuing this website, this blog. But yes, I need to do it very careful, I need to be very careful to not find some kind of excuse to make changes to just let go what I started, just let go of the success of writing every day (except Sundays). As somehow that is helping me, has helped me to get on the road to success.

So let’s be careful, but let’s be open to guidance from The Universe, from Infinite Intelligence, to make this into a better, more useful venture.

Comments very welcome.