Yes, that has been in my mind for a while, if I had known before what I know now, like if I had known everything I know when I was eighteen I’m quite sure I would be rich by now and have a better relationship and all the things I want or would have wanted.
The weird thing is that i could still have it as I’m only fifty years old and presuming I can still easily reach eighty or more I have plenty of time to get all the things I want or wanted. But somehow something changed in the meanwhile, especially something like there are some things i don’t want to give up on, mainly some commitments I made.
So logically the whole thing doesn’t add up as there are many things I don’t have right now and I want and I just don’t want to go for it the same way I would have gone for it when I was eighteen.
And I wanted this post to be something inspiring, like something ‘you can have anything you want’ for people who are eighteen now, but it seems much more interesting for now to analyze a bit more what’s going on or what has happened to me that even though I kind of know now that I can have anything I want, still, I just don’t want it, even though I’m starting to believe more and more that I can still have it. But I want it in a different way, not in the way I would have wanted it when I was eighteen.
So what’s my message to young people now. I think the main thing is something like ‘be patient’, don’t grab things as they come along. It seems when you are young you tend to grab things if they are good enough, or at least I did. So it could be personal, but somehow I have the feeling it’s not, somehow I have the feeling it applies to many people what i am experiencing, what I am talking about now.
So what do I not want to give up. Well, mainly my relationship. I am very committed to my relationship, even though I know it’s not the best in the world. But as of the moment my plan is to make it the best relationship in the world and not changing partner, which rationally would probably be much easier, much more preferable. But I don’t want to. I chose for this person and I believe in ‘for better or for worse’, I believe in a lifetime relationship. And yes, this may be personal. So looking back, what would I have done differently? I guess I would have not let myself guide by my emotions so much, like being in love and go for it, again, as rationally that’s not the wisest thing to do. And while writing and thinking the main thing I think is that I don’t want to give up on me, on myself, on my belief that a relationship is for life. I guess because somehow has been and still is the biggest value in my life.
So advice for young people: just give it a little more time, or a lot more time. You have a lot more time than you think and taking time to find the right partner I think now is a much better way than giving in to the longing for love, sex, relationship, partnership.
So what else would I have done differently? Well, I guess I would have planned my life a bit better. Same thing, in certain situations, in certain periods in my life I was defeated, felt I had nothing left. So I grabbed the first thing that was available to get out of that unwanted situation. I think with what I know now I again would have given it a bit more time. Or would not have given up anyhow, would have turned the situation around, no matter how bad it felt or was. And recently and at the moment I’m actually doing that. I didn’t give up so easily what I thought I lost and it seems I’m succeeding in what I wanted, what I want right now, by just not giving up.
So going back to begin rich, yes I believe that I would have been rich by now, really rich if I had known what i know now when I started my career. Again, same thing, I would have been more patient, would have planned better, would have listened to myself better than listening to my parents and the people around me about what i was supposed to do with my life, with my working life, with my career. And yes, I know now i”m quite slow with those things, was and am quite naive. But looking back I should have taken some more time do ‘do nothing’, check what I really wanted, learn more on how to get rich (through work), really focus and plan.
So where does that knowledge come from I have now and didn’t have back then. Well, mainly from the ideas in Think and Grow Rich I guess. And it must come from much more, but it all kind of felt into place with Think and Grow Rich, or actually finding myself in the same situation almost a year ago from ten, or now eleven years ago. And I didn’t want to repeat that. I wanted better.
So indeed, I guess it’s something like really wanting something. And for me it was that I wanted my relationship to work this time, no matter what. I wanted it better, perfect, no matter what. And that brought me where I am now, from a completely hopeless situation where I had lost everything to a situation where I have perspective again, including these ‘impossible’ things I don’t want to talk too much about as they are quite private. So I can confirm to never ever give up, no matter how bad the situation is. If you really want something it’s possible.
And I think I need some more time and space to work on this further, to convert this into a more readable article for young people, or for people like me one year ago, or for people like me right now.
As related to the last the question is of course how to get from where I am now to that situation I had in mind when I was eighteen. How would I do that now? Rationally I’m quite sure that’s possible, however there are some more hurdles than when I was eighteen, or at least I feel some more hurdles, mainly commitments I made to other people, but looking further of course they are commitments to myself. And there are some things that seem harder. One main thing is how to meet the right people. That has always been an issue for me, but living in the place where I live now that seems quite impossible. And again, while writing that it’s not true. Yes, it would be easier to meet the right people in places like New York, the western world, but the city where i live now has still half a million inhabitants or so and the capital with 12 million people or many more is only one and a half hours flight away and there are many flights every day. And i don’t want to move, but I’m certainly willing to travel and I’m starting to realize that many people, business people, don’t like that and would be happy if I do that for them.
But still, I know what I want now, much, much better than before, much, much better than in any period in my life. I just don’t know exactly where to start, how to make the right connections.
So still something to learn, still something to think about.
But for you, if you are eighteen or anywhere between eighty and forty or so, just be a bit more patient, don’t grab the first thing that passes by and looks a bit or a lot like the thing you are looking for, the thing you really want. Just think it over and be careful with emotions, especially emotions like falling in love, maybe not only with another person but also with a job or a business or whatever else you are sensitive about.
So I guess that’s also what I still have to tell myself right now, just be patient and take a bit more time until I’m very sure that the thing that passes by is really the thing I want, not only now, but also ten or twenty years from now.
