Tag Archives: Emotion

Guilt

Today it struck my mind that it’s completely crazy to feel bad about things that you did in the past and that worked out bad, even though they have effects that you experience. I made some bad decisions related to money, to investments and that has put me in a very bad position. And i don’t know how to solve it. And I feel very guilty and bad about it. And I have no clue how to solve it. But today I suddenly realized that I can’t change the past and that I can’t change the situation I’m in right now. Or maybe never.

And the weird thing is that this whole thing goes back to beliefs I have and to thoughts like what other people think about it. And those beliefs and this ‘what other people think about it’ create an awful amount of guilt and ‘feeling bad’ in me. And looking at it, at how I feel and what effect it has on me that can’t be a good thing. Because especially this guilt is having a devastating effect on me. And not only me, but also on my environment, the people around me.

So I thought I should write about this, as I’m quite sure I’m not the only one being confronted with some bad decision or bad decisions made in the past. And suffering so much from it.

And no, I didn’t find an answer yet, I didn’t find answers yet. As the main problem right now is that I am in a situation i don’t like and that I don’t know how to solve it. And that it affects my life in a very bad way. So this is kind of reality and a reality I don’t like and that also kind of paralyzes me.

The good thing though now is that I’m starting to realize why some people are not moving anymore, don’t do anything anymore. As the ‘issues’ they’re confronted with are too big, too big to oversee or to overcome. And I’m a person who doesn’t easily give up. You may even say never gives up. But my current financial situation feels so hopeless that, indeed,sometimes, or even mostly lately, I just don’t move anymore, just don’t do anything anymore. Because it’s just too big for me to deal with. I see no way out.

So yes, I always had answers to people, still have even. Sometimes my own opinion or sometimes just quotes. But being here now, even with all that I know, even with the best quotes and stuff and with the best self help sites and blogs and stuff i read, I often don’t know what to say anymore to myself.

And yes, today I somehow got moving again, after quite a period of being quite inert. But i still don’t see a way out and that affects my life and the life of the people around me in a very negative way.

But somehow this is also what inspiration for Success is all about. Give people hope, give people inspiration when they don’t see it themselves anymore.

So yes, maybe this experience is good for me, is still something given to me. So I would be more understanding about people who just don’t see how to get out of a bad, a very bad situation that they consider impossible to solve.

Bur for now I can only say to myself that I can’t change my past decision, my past decisions. And that looking back, trying to learn from it would be OK. But feeling guilty about it or thinking about what other people think about it as I do makes no sense, just makes things worse.

So let’s say to ourselves that we should avoid feeling (too much) guilt about something we can’t change anymore. And that there is always hope, that things can always be better, even better than the past and even better than anything before. Even if we can’t believe that right now, as belief is just belief, something that someone believes.

Something…

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Well, ten minutes ago I still felt like nothing to write here as my mood was very bad and I felt very stressed as I had felt the whole day, no matter what I did or tried to do or tried to think or whatever. So I thought ‘one of those days’ while searching for the daily quote. And somehow I still try to stick with decisions about what to do on a day, no matter how little I plan. And the last few days I wasn’t really keeping these promises even, so tonight, late tonight, I still decided to somehow finish some report that was overdue already for weeks. And I really planned it yesterday, although I did not really ‘decide’ so I had kind of a way out. But today I had promised myself to do it like some real decision, so I had no real option not to do it based on the habit I developed around ‘deciding what to do on a day’.

So what can I learn from this, what can we learn from this. Well, not fully sure, but my habit to ‘finish things I planned on a day’ is a really strong motivator. Somehow I have developed that habit. And it is related to ‘stick with a decision when you have made it’. So those two are really powerful things, even though I use them with a lot of care. But that’s also what it’s actually about I guess, because I am much, much more careful what I decide than ever before and I am much, much more careful what I plan for a day. At the moment I’d rather plan nothing than plan something I won’t finish. So I am looking to ‘extend’ this habit to bigger things. But I know I have to be very careful with that as I think in general I tend to put too much pressure on myself and/or plan too much.

But looking back to the last few months I can really recommend to ‘start small’ with this type of thing if you want to. As of now I think it is much, much more important to stick with decisions no matter how small or unimportant and stick with my daily plan no matter how small than to plan too much and finally fall back to something like ‘doing nothing’ or ‘feeling bad’. So yes, while writing I realize I really developed a habit about daily planning and decision making. And it all started with ‘daily making the bed’, which I think I have done now for almost a year and I never skipped, except maybe on one or two very weird or unusual days. And ‘never skipping’ may mean I make the bed at eight pm or so. But I do make it.

So back to today. Today I basically tried everything to relax a bit, to be a bit happy. And until like half an hour ago it didn’t happen, I didn’t manage to change it, no matter how hard (or not hard) I tried. So I stayed stressed for most of the days as I hadn’t felt stress in a long, long time. And looking back I also still wouldn’t know how I could have changed it earlier. So maybe this is indeed ‘one of those days’ where nothing seems to work, where nothing good seems to happen, where no matter what you do or read or know or whatever, you stay in this very bad mood, in this very stressed feeling.

But now, fortunately, it did change, although while writing this still a little stress comes up in the background. So yes, when you’re in that mood, maybe just stay in it and accept it. Because even knowing that it will be over some time didn’t help me today. But now, right now I know I feel better, quite a bit better, although still not good.

So things will be better. They always will be.

Teamwork

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Yes, today I watched another movie. And the more I look around me the more I see that everything is teamwork, literally everything. In everything we do, in everything we receive, in everything that is there, there are many people involved, all contributing to the things we have.

So yes, I’m starting to become grateful for that, that I don’t have to grow my own food or have to shoot some animal for meat. And that’s even the simplest thing. What about the computer I’m using now or the TV I was watching earlier. Or just the electricity to make the lights shine or the simple native bed that I will sleep in later. Even that was made, was made possible by the effort of many people.

So thank you, all the people who make my life easier, even though we don’t always see that, feel that.

Hope

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I was so happy today as a request from a customer gave me so much hope. It appeared there was finally light at the end of the tunnel with this customer and that he somehow still trusts me. And hope that finally my investments would pay off, the enormous amount of hours I put in this real estate stuff.

And then it appeared I was not the only one in the race, that I’m not there yet. And it put me down a lot, indeed. As Morty Lefkoe says, it was the meaning I gave to this little extra information. Or maybe also the meaning I gave to the first event, the request for a quote. I thought I was already there, that I’m just the best, and I know I am in this case.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus

So how to go on from here, with this post and with this project I so badly need. Indeed, it seem to be my emotions that are in the way. And I was reading again in Think and Grow Rich this morning. And I read more and more that it’s my weakness, our weaknesses that stand in the way towards success. So yes, maybe my biggest weakness is that I let my emotions, yes, let what?

But that was the weird thing and why I started this post. Napoleon Hill states hope as a positive emotion. And it worked, this hope I felt today from this simple request made me feel so good, made me feel alive, made me feel enthusiastic, it just made my day, it made me move, quite effortlessly, it also made me allow myself to take a break, a very well needed break, this time a real break.

And I was especially happy as this whole hope thing just made my day, confirming everything also about The Secret and such. So maybe better stay in the hope than in the fear, as I realize while writing this that what happened after was just fear.

Still, confusing, but something to think about more as it feels it is important to understand what happened just now and what’s the effect.

Emotions are just emotions

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I was very surprised when I saw today’s quote in a website searching for a quote related to something like ‘inspiration and anger’::

We’re taught to be ashamed of confusion, anger, fear and sadness, and to me they’re of equal value to happiness, excitement and inspiration. – Alanis Morissette

It made me feel much more relaxed straight away as I realized that emotions are just emotions, they are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’, they just are, they just are expressions of what you are feeling, of what’s going on in you and/or around you.

And now I’m a bit lost on how to continue. Because this site is about Inspiration for Success and with what I know from the Principles of Success as stated by Napoleon Hill positive emotions lead to success, not negative emotions.

And I also prefer to experience positive emotions, not negative. And I guess most people do. But while writing this post I get more and more a weird feeling as you can only experience positive if you know the negative. So would it also be something like you can only experience a certain level of positive emotion if you also have experienced a same level of negative emotion? Is there some kind of balance there? And how would you measure that? Or has there been research done on these things?

Weird. And looking at myself my experience in life has been mainly negative. But that’s just my experience, how I experience life, how I look at my life. Comparing myself to others I guess, others in my surroundings, not others like ‘everybody in the world’. Or comparing my life to what I wanted, comparing it to what I expected.

Wow, I opened some subject here. Maybe it’s indeed all about how you look at things, like if a glass is half empty or half full. If you look at it objectively my life hasn’t been that bad. Yes, I had a lot of problems with work. And a lot of relationship issues. But thinking right now, these are exactly the things that are important to me. So if there is something wrong there I guess it gets magnified, maybe magnified beyond proportions.

And yes, I am very stubborn, want things my way. And I won’t give up. And these things of course also seem to create the problems. And keep me in situations I don’t like. But in the end I believe in persistence. And yes, in the end I still believe that my persistence will pay off, will lead me to success, to the success I’m looking for and by now also really need, really feel I deserve.

So in the end it seems indeed all about choice, choice to persist, choice to stick with what you’re ‘willing to give’ (from the six steps in the chapter desire in Think and Grow Rich). In expectation of success, in expectation to realize your dreams. And belief that you will get there.

Yes, life is weird, don’t you also think?