Tag Archives: Progress

Is life like a bicycle?

I just got the following quote as a (spam) comment on one of the posts in this site:

“Life is like riding a bicycle: you don’t fall off unless you stop pedaling.” – Claude Pepper

And it made me think, as most of my life I’ve been pedaling very hard and I have the feeling it didn’t bring me anywhere. Yes, in a way it brought me quite some money, but the end result was not what I wanted or expected.

So end of last year I kind of stopped pedaling and recently I’m pedaling slowly. And I’m trying to make sense of it all as ‘just pedaling’ is not enough. As I’ve been pedaling very hard with my business, but it didn’t pay off until now. I just feel like I fell very hard and I’m not sure how to stand up, how to make sure I don’t fall that hard.

And the main issue right now is I fell so hard and am so wounded that I’m not fully sure how to move on. I feel like I need help, but don’t know where to go. And somehow I still want it to work, want it to move, want it to be alive. And while writing I realized the bike is still there as I still have some infrastructure, even though that’s also a bit wounded and a main asset in the form of the Active Discovery Application Framework which I think is a very powerful web development framework.

So yes, while writing this I see I still learned a lot and it seems I still know what I want and it seems there are still assets there, so yes, getting some quote and doing something with it like writing does help, does give perspective.

So you might also want to write about what’s bothering you, what you’re thinking about.

Another accident

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So today I had another accident. So how to make something inspiring from that? Yes, I got up quickly, looked at myself, saw the wounds were not that bad as before, saw that the motorcycle was still running, got myself together, got the motorcycle up, gathered the things that had fallen out and went back home.

So yes, they say no matter how often or how hard you fall just get up and continue. And it was easier than before, somehow, for me, as I had been there and nothing really serious had happened to me, at least at first sight.

But still I felt stupid, felt hurt, not only physically but also emotionally. I know I choose to ride that motorcycle as I don’t see any other option to move around conveniently, even though I know it’s dangerous. But it’s no fun actually. It’s just how it is and I don’t know how to change it. And I don’t know how to prevent falling again. The stupid thing is just dangerous. Or use other transportation, but that’s also dangerous and much more inconvenient.

The worst was that I got a whole sermon at home that I need to change. That this kind of thing is part of my pattern. That somehow I do it to get attention, no not consciously, but unconsciously. That I really need to change something here. And believing indeed that things happen because you attract them also made me think. And yes, I know I have to change some things. I know things happened just before that probably triggered it. But still, I don’t know how to change it, how to change.

And I can’t get the lesson from it. Yes, be more careful, drive more slowly, be more focused. But those are only words, I don’t really feel it. I can’t get to the actual lesson and my partner seems to feel it and is annoyed with it. Well, don’t you think I’m annoyed with it? And if I only knew how, of course I would change it straight away.

So yes, I’m way too hard on myself again I guess. And yes, somehow I’m playing the victim here still. But somehow I also feel like I am changing, do improve things, little things, but still, things.

And I need to stop that ‘improving things’ means that there is something wrong with me. Or is there? Napoleon Hill also states something like that in the end of the book Think and Grow Rich, to check what’s wrong with you as otherwise you would be successful, would be in the place you want to be.

Confusing.

So how can I be inspiring here? Or can I?

I know many people, maybe you, would be affected a lot more with an accident like this, while to me it was ‘just another accident’, I got up and rode away. So yes, no matter if you’re hurt, either emotionally or physically, you can just get up and move on, provided you were not hurt that bad that you can’t move anymore.

And yes, somehow I’m determined to do better, make things better, no matter what, even though it hurts and please don’t underestimate how hurt an humiliated I feel at the moment. And physical wounds heal, although sometimes they leave a trace. And emotional wounds also heal I guess, although I want to be very careful stating things about that.

But the lesson I’m still not fully sure of. Maybe I can find someone who is already successful (as I have in mind) say something about that. To inspire me, maybe to try to make clear or clearer to me what’s the most important lesson I have to learn.

The Power of the Master Mind

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Wow, today I started to feel the Power of the Master Mind as described by Napoleon Hill. As you may know the Master Mind principle, so more simple, ‘teamwork’, is one of my biggest weaknesses. So realizing that after my(?!) last formal team meeting on May 7, 2013 there was finally a team meeting today was really progress for me.

So yes, I guess this is my learning process. I am an idea guy and have many and great ideas. And I am very intelligent and a fast learner. But other people have other interests and other priorities and involving them in a project like this as i want is not easy or even ‘impossible’, at least short term. They also don’t have the background in this project, don’t have the feel, the connection with it as I have. And I’m asking also something ‘impossible’ as I want them to do a lot of work while not paying them as I don’t have the money to pay them. If I had I would probably do, so one of my options is even to find an investor for my project. But then, what project? The project Inspiration for Success that is intended to build “The best website to inspire people (for success)”? Or my sample project to make myself successful, make me earn one million dollar?

And of course the last is very egoistic also, even though I want my team members also earn one million dollars each. However, what i am starting to notice is that it is very hard to do ‘anything’ positive to people if you are really in need yourself. And yes, I am in need of quite some things and that makes it very hard to ‘be’ something for other people. So yes, I can understand that mostly or only successful people can be inspiring, share their story. Why would you follow me, with my business down the drain, no money left and quite alone without many friends?

So yes, I need success, you need success if you want to inspire people, guide people, lead people. So yes, I need my sample project to succeed, at least partly, so I don’t need to worry about money, about what I will eat next month or where i will live. As ‘living’ and ‘eating’ are very important for people and indeed, I never knew how important, so I’m very happy with the lesson, feeling like having nothing left. But I don’t want to stay there as it’s very humiliating and indeed, makes unhappy in the sense that “Money certainly does not make one happy, but no money certainly brings unhappiness”.

And yes, why wouldn’t I be traveling again, enjoy life? Do the things I want to do? Just for fun? Who wouldn’t want to? Who doesn’t deserve that? Indeed, I’m starting to believe more and more that life is to be enjoyed, that life is not supposed to be ‘suffering’. And yes, suffering brought me a lot of insight, I have learned much more from suffering than from happiness. But I’m also tired, tired from having no money, from not even be able to go to the beach, from not being able to treat the dogs well with their skin diseases, not being able to visit friends and family. So yes, I can imagine a little bit now what it must be to have children in this kind of situation. It must be heartbreaking if you can’t feed your children, can’t send them to school or just take care of them as you would like to, as they deserve.

So yes, I’m still privileged, basically only having myself to take care of, but it’s no fun, certainly not.

Slow progress

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Well, it seems I’m in the middle of a dip with this project. I am writing a post every day and traffic is going down, so is visibility in Google. And my team hardly responds anymore, although this morning there was a very positive e-mail from our new team member Christian. Yes, maybe I should start counting the good, counting the things that are working, not (only) the things that don’t work.

And I know every project has a phase or phases like this. And I know that if I just continue in the end it will work out fine, something good will come out of it. But as you may understand, that doesn’t really help me now, as now it’s all a bit down.

Counting the good came from the ‘free signup document’ of Jeannette Seibly. You can go here to get the document. And it starts with counting ‘what worked’ today. So maybe just put here what worked for me today (actually she mentions week or quarter, but for me for now I’ll just use ‘today’):

I did make the bed, the small thing I do every day that made me feel successful (again). So that worked.
I planned to visit Nestlé and I did go. And I didn’t get the appointment I wanted, but I did get some useful information. So my action worked.
My main server kind of works again. It’s not fully ok, but I can use it and the most important data and functionality is there. So picking it up also worked.
I planned to work on a customer project and I did, even though it took me some time to get going. And my five minutes planned became more than an hour or so and I’m almost finished. So again, something worked.
I felt down and called my mother. Often we end in some kind of negative talk, but today it worked and I got kind of inspired by her. So today also this worked.
And I did update my resume and made a cover letter and actually this was beyond my planning. So again, something that worked.
And of course I sent my daily quote and I’m writing my daily blog item here now, so that also worked.

So then the next thing, what didn’t work:

Well, the computer didn’t really work as I want to, but it’s working good enough for what I need right now, so doesn’t really count for ‘didn’t work’.
I took quite a lot of ‘doing nothing time’ to get going, but somehow I needed it, so also, it’s more like a ‘did work’ than a ‘didn’t work’.
And I need to pay some bills, but still the phone and electricity are working. So also here, postponing payments didn’t really ‘not work’.
And I can’t think of anything else that really ‘didn’t work’. Weird.

So yes, weird. I keep on concluding that I’m pretty successful in everything I do, except that it doesn’t pay the bills. Maybe that’s something to analyze, something to think about.

So next thing: what would I want to be acknowledged for? Well, full phrases:

I would like to be acknowledged for not giving up, for moving on, no matter how bad the situation is.
I would like to be acknowledged for my daily posts, my daily writing in this site.
I would like to be acknowledged for sending my daily quote (but I am already by some people, so that’s ok I guess).
I would like to be acknowledged for all the work I do. I do a lot you see, I guess more than what the average person does.
I would like to be acknowledged for all the hard work I do, or actually did, even though the result sometimes is not there or not as expected.
And a private one: I would like be acknowledged for being ‘loving’. I guess this is the most important one as there is a whole story behind it.

So indeed, writing these things down is inspiring as Jeannette Seibly predicted. Maybe you should do the same.

Looking forward to your comments.

The world knocks it out of you

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I just got an e-mail including this text at the end:

The reason I told you you’d be surprised at your own brand of superhero’ness is that your greatness constantly hides from you. The world knocks it out of you over the years. But it’s there waiting. Like a diamond ready to be shined up again and rediscovered.

And the subject like ‘rediscover yourself’ or something like that seems to come back in many books about, well, self development or something. Even Think and Grow Rich has something like that in between the lines, like don’t consider other peoples opinions, just be yourself. I also often encounter phrases like ‘keep your own council‘ (if you want to be successful). And the story of the diamond behind the mud is also very familiar.

So what is this, that ‘the world’ knocks ‘life’ out of us. Why are we ‘just ourselves’ after being born, being a baby and then somehow lose ourselves growing up and being an adult. Why do we need to ‘rediscover’ ourselves. Why don’t we just stay ourselves without this ‘intermission’? Has this always been the case, all since the beginning of human history? Or is this just our journey on earth being a human being?

And I’m a bit in doubt now, how to continue this post. One thing in my mind is that recently I had quite some spiritual experiences, like past and ‘now’ mixing together, like there is no time, like I can just relive memories as if they were real. The weird thing is that I can’t really look into the future in a similar way. I can plan, decide, but I can’t really see or feel the future. Or can I, I am thinking while writing this now. I did visualize some things recently. Some big things. And it felt indeed as if I was there, as if it was really happening. But it didn’t happen yet. Or did it? The mind is a weird garden.

Life is strange, that’s a sentence that comes into my mind more and more lately. Napoleon Hill also states somewhere something like ‘the strangeness of life’. And yes, yesterday or today I really also felt ‘that we had met’, as he ends Think and Grow Rich with. And just realize the title of the book contains the word ‘grow’, a word I can’t remember reading anywhere in the text of the book itself, but I may be mistaken or have missed it. Or is that maybe what it’s all about? Growing?

But still, I’m looking for success, I’m looking for something better than what I have today, where I am today. And I know it’s there, as I used to have things I don’t have at the moment. So my success at the moment is still about ‘missing something’, not about achieving something, not about feeling passionate about something. And I know it’s important to turn that around, as it means my focus is on the negative, on the lacking, not on the positive, the having or ‘coming’. So in my case I guess most important thing is to find the passion, or the desire as Napoleon Hill calls it. I felt it a bit yesterday, today, but right now it’s gone again, gone in fear and insecurity, even though I am starting to feel the fear mixed with excitement recently. Very good I think, progress I think.

So how to make this post inspiring to you? How to end this post? Maybe add a (Dutch) quote that my dad often used: “‘Be yourself!’ I said to someone; but he couldn’t: he was nobody.” – De Genestet. So something like:

BE SOMEBODY!

Or just point you to the Principles of Success and check where you are with that like in the related exercise?

Or just leave it like this and hope you enjoy my pondering in this post?

Looking forward to your comment!