Tag Archives: Complaining

So what would I write?

Leondardo DiCaprio Today’s quote made me think about what success means to me:

“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.” – Anne Sweeney

And it brought me back to my history, where success just meant like finding a job (and I was supposed to have a good job as I’m quite intelligent) and just work and live a happy life, live the life I knew as a child and that was pretty OK with me. How different did my life go, but maybe that’s just how life goes.

So this quote of today made me think of how I would define success today. And I think I wouldn’t define it much different than when I was a child, when I grew up. And today I read this page about what ‘successful people’ do: 10 high performance habits that lead to success. And I know somehow those things are true, but it’s not the whole truth. Because I did win the morning, somewhere in my life. And I did do the hard things. And yes, maybe I didn’t embrace feedback. But I think I did learn from failures, although looking back maybe not enough. And yes, maybe I’m not good at choosing the right attitude. But I did do a lot, an awful lot of one more. And it didn’t work out mostly, so I’m very careful doing one more at the moment, or doing anything. And I think I have a purpose, although the desire might not be big enough or clear enough. And maybe I’m not recommitting every day. And yes, patience has not been my strongest side. But in the end I think I do not fear anyone.

So looking back at this I think I have not done that bad in those success habits. So I should have success. But I don’t. And looking at all kinds of other lists with similar ‘success things’ I think I’ve not done bad on those also. So what’s going on? What’s the secret? Why don’t I have what I think I should have, I’m supposed to have? Something is still missing, and there wouldn’t be so many websites and self help books and training and courses and what else if I were the only one. And it seems also that mostly ‘those who are already there’ benefit mostly of it. And good samples for me in the ‘self help industry’ are people like Esther and Jerry Hicks, Anthony Robbins, Bob Proctor, maybe Joel Osteen and there are many more. It seems they’re doing pretty OK and I guess they do. Or are they mainly keeping up an image? Or is it their personality? Do they have certain treats I don’t have, you don’t have? And the hard part is that it would be hard to ‘counter’ them. As they have made it and I have not. And somehow they have the power and I have not.

And some other successes I also don’t fully understand, where people seem to have achieved success at very young age, like Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Bieber, although (young) people who succeed (early) in life seem to have one thing in common: having the right support from someone else, which I feel never had. But again, this is basically the reason why Inspiration for Success exists as I want to find a way to give everything that external support he or she needs.

And that’s what has been bothering me for a long time, that it’s easy to say what you should do or shouldn’t do or how to do it when you’re already ‘there’. But if you’re not there, you keep wondering what you’re doing wrong, at least I do. So yes, somehow I still intend to be ‘there’, probably through this website, this project. But as of now I’m not and I’m suffering quite a lot of ‘not being there’. And yes, somehow this is still the answer, that if I keep doing this, keep writing, keep pushing Inspiration for Success, no matter what, I’ll be ‘there’ one day.

But I’m not there yet, and that’s not always easy.

Alone

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So somehow today, and maybe some more time than I thought before, was an alone day. So I was searching for alone quotes and sent one. And I found another one for this post:

“if you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.” – Richard Yates.

So for example with this website, with the project Inspiration for Success, it still feels I’m alone, no matter there is a team. And somehow I’m not good with teams, with people, at least not in relation to projects, to achieving something (together).

And indeed, going back to Inspiration for Success, I have big ideas and big plans for this project and this website. But somehow, until now, I was not able to convey that, the whole idea to the team. And I know somehow I’m trying to do something virtually impossible, something weird, and it even changed and changes over time. And often it feels like I’m not the right person to do this, to make my ideas, my dreams come true, e.g. with this website, this project. As somehow I’m still not able to inspire or motivate people to do the work, to really actually do some more things.

And yes, maybe I’m the wrong person, maybe it’s the wrong team, maybe it’s the wrong time, maybe…

But still, something deep inside me says I should push through with this, try to get my message to the world. And I’m not even sure why or how, even though of course I also have all those voices in my head telling me what to do or not do like everybody seems to have.

So where to go from here? I have no clue actually. But maybe indeed I should use the ideas from the Law of Attraction and focus more on what I have in mind, what the end result should be. And not so much on how to get there.

And maybe this is still also the right post to tell my little story about a project I have been working on for a few days, a few weeks, and check that project against the Principles of Success. Or no, maybe indeed make that a page: sample application of the principles of success. But here I have a problem, as I don’t want to offend our Editor in Chief, who made a stand for delivering quality pages. So the link I have put may not work yet as a page has to be approved by our Editor in Chief.

So yes, somehow I’m trying to do something honest and true with Inspiration for Success. And it seems indeed that it is something I may have to do alone, somehow. As I can’t do it alone and don’t want to do it alone. But maybe indeed being the leader somehow means you are alone and you have to do it alone, even if there is a team supporting you.

Find something to be happy about

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The idea to find something to be happy about, no matter what, appeals to me. However, today I didn’t really succeeded in that. Somehow I’m still too much bothered with my financial situation and not feeling needed by anyone in a business type way. And the worst thing is that this is something that has been haunting me almost all my (grown up) life. And I still don’t really know what to do about it, even though I have learnt the last few months that ‘I’ am not defined by my capacity to earn or something. Still, I feel blocked in almost anything I want to do for fun, like traveling or even visiting friends or acquaintances. And I have the feeling I’m complaining here which I’m also quite sure I do. But I just feel frustrated not being needed by anyone in a business type of way with the things I like to do: web development, programming, internet marketing and everything around it. And I know I’m good at it. I know I have some specific ideas that are good. And I also know other people are good at it, just in a different way.

But the good thing maybe is that I have things to think about related to this project, related to Inspiration for Success. And I believe, i have to believe, that has to pay off somehow, somewhere, sometime, also in money or fame or something.

But for now, today, I just felt lousy. But a friend of mine just said that’s part of being human. And even Abraham Hicks I think confirms that.

So if you’re in that state, don’t worry. And even if I’m not seeing it right now, not feeling it right now, I know there will be a time when I’m feeling better. Probably tomorrow or maybe even earlier.

Tired

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I feel tired. And that’s weird as I have not been working hard the last few days. But maybe that’s also what makes me tired. I’d rather be busy. But I’m not, in a way, although of course there are plenty things I could do. But I’m not inspired in doing any of those things and partly related to what I learned recently that uninspired action doesn’t pay off I’m careful doing things that I don’t feel like doing.

I also feel more like organizing things and thinking what to do than actually doing things. So it’s also not true that I’m not doing anything. I’m just trying to find the right way of moving, moving forward. And I know this may sound like excuses and procrastination, but it’s not. I am starting to believe more and more that uninspired action doesn’t work and that sometimes being patient is the best thing you can ‘do’.

What frustrated me today however a bit was that one of my team members told me he was busy, too busy. And I was happy with what he told me, with what he was busy with. As all the things he mentioned were indeed ‘valid’ things to be busy with. And things worthy of doing. And also things that would be hard to be done by someone else.

So I’m thinking about how to organize things better, for me, for my team, for my work and maybe even for the rest of the world. As I think we can do better, balance the work better so everybody would be more happy. And everybody would get ‘more’.

As I’m not happy not having enough work, work I consider useful. And my team mate is not happy having too much work, a situation I also know from other times.

Discouraged

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Again I was inspired by Abraham Hicks who said something like if you are discouraged you cannot feel well. And I realized that may have been the main thing that blocks me: being discouraged.

And the discouragement comes from having worked so hard, having pushed so hard business, career wise and it didn’t work out.

And I believed in working hard and persistence. But I’m 50 years old and my working hard and my persistence didn’t pay off in building a proper career, having some kind of financial security let alone having a thriving business.

So recently I kind of stopped. Also based on the ideas of Abraham Hicks that doing things from resistance and not from inspiration does not work. And it seems this idea is correct as I did a lot of things in my life, have taken a lot of action, have been persistent and all those things and for a long, long time I had the feeling it didn’t work as I thought it should work. And the last two years or so everything slowly fell apart business wise and financially.

So what now? If hard work doesn’t pay off, if ‘doing things’, ‘taking action’ doesn’t work, if ‘persistence’ as I thought what persistence was doesn’t work, what then?

Well, I kind of stopped. And I’m kind of waiting. But that also doesn’t seem to be the solution. However, taking (uninspired) action also doesn’t work. And the last year or so patience did work in the most important area in my life. And with my team here on Inspiration for Success patience also seems to pay off.

But not easy if you’re a ‘doer’ and are out of money. And weird also as I’m becoming more and more successful in all kinds of areas in my life. Except in finance. Weird, but it was also the start of this project and of the sample goal.

But how can I believable as insprirator if I consider myself not successful, if I can’t even support myself financially?