Tag Archives: Dream

Right now

I was chatting with someone tonight and (of course) came to the subject of how the world works, or actually doesn’t work, financially the last few years or maybe even decades. And then I came across a post in Facebook about visa. And that reminded me again of things like ‘humanification’ and of the world passport I once read about. And that brought me to the site world service and I thought they deserve to be mentioned here, have a link here.

And I see this page is a post(?!), where I think the subject humanification needs a page, but that’s for another time.

Before

Tonight I was at a small party of a friend who just invited a few people to spend the night together with some drinks and snacks. And of course I got a little bit drunk from the nice cocktails and the wine and of course my issue with Smart an big companies and other organizations like governments became a subject we talked about.

And yes, my issue with Smart limiting my internet connection is about me and it is very personal. But it is also exactly about what I want to change in the world and what I think we as humanity can do better. And there is even a word for it, although it’s not an official word and I was not able to secure the domain: humanification: make the world more human again, make the world for humans again and not for organizations.

As I think organizations should serve humans and not the other way around which seems the case so often in 2014 and the years before. And I think I’m not the only one affected in a negative way by procedures and policies of big organizations like big companies and governments, especially organizations that don’t have (a lot of) competition and you and I depend on.

But in the end it is humans working in these organizations, from CEO to the lowest level of employee. And I believe each of them can make a change, can start serving other people better, regardless of policies and procedures.

And don’t get me wrong, policies and procedures are there for a reason and basically are good and have their purpose. But in the end humans are executing and implementing them and humans have a choice whether the policy or procedure is applicable to the situation, the human need on the side of the person they are serving.

Because humans and organizations are there to serve (other) humans, not the other way around. Never forget that and always keep in mind how you would want to be served if you are on the other side of the desk or the counter.

Let’s be human, lets humanificate.

Empty screen

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Still not easy what I am trying to do here, with Inspiration for Success. I want to inspire people, but don’t feel inspiration myself. And I want to change the world, but don’t know how to get the audience.

So right now I’m not sure what to do with Inspiration for Success, with this website. Somehow I’m still committed to my goals, creating a website to inspire people who need inspiration and create a big change in the world so people can enjoy more of what humanity has to offer in goods and services. But I have no clue how to continue and I’m just tired doing it alone. And I tried to build a team to create leverage, but somehow they were and are too busy to contribute to the project with real content, with real action. And yes, somehow they wanted money, wanted return straight away, which as of the moment I don’t know how to realize. And they didn’t believe in my million dollar type of goals. So somehow they also didn’t get the point of aiming big, as in my opinion there is enough small and mediocre.

So yes, time for evaluation and planning. But the last apparently is not my strength. And that’s also what I needed my team, my Master Mind for. And that appears to be maybe my biggest weakness, inspire other people or motivate them to do things.

So what now?

And yes, still looking forward to your comments, any comments. As that would inspire me and would also give me some more idea of what direction to go, even though the direction is already clear to me.

Persistence or being stubborn

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It is two o’clock in the morning and I was asking myself if I am just being stubborn or stupid doing my daily Inspiration for Success thing or if this could translate into persistence related to achieving success. And there are several related questions in my mind also, as I’m not sure if I would ask from anyone else to spend this one hour or so at the end of the day doing something that’s not that important. Or is it important. Or would I ask it from someone else or would I suggest it to someone else who wants to achieve success, who wants to be really successful, really rich like I want.

But somehow I have been doing this kind of thing all my life and it didn’t work out. Pushing through, keeping doing things. But somehow I also have the feeling that if I just keep going, just keep writing, just keep insisting I want Active Discovery this web development company in Cagayan de Oro City with its own building and with around two hundred people, qualified people, happy people and people making a decent living and enjoying their work and enjoying supporting their customers. And of course a company that serves its customers well and delivers quality services and products that make customers satisfied and happy.

And no, I have no plan for that, at least not anymore. And it seems that’s the main thing missing, but I’m too tired of it all, of trying to build this company, trying, yes, to help myself and trying to help The Philippines, help Filipino people to have decent local jobs so they don’t have to go abroad, away from their family. And I still believe my intention was good. But somehow it all fell apart and I have no clue how to get where I want to get with that.

And yes, that was one of the reasons I felt very down today. As it felt I was coming back to, came back to a place where there is nothing left and a place where I don’t see any future, not anymore. As I tried so hard and it didn’t work out (until now?). With Active Discovery and with The Malasag House. And yes, somewhere deep down I still want all of that, still want the things that I had in mind when we started Active Discovery and when we moved to The Malasag House. But I have no clue how as I can’t find any Master Mind or something and I have no clue about any plan.

And yes, now there is also Inspiration for Success and even Philippine Insurances and an idea for a Philippine Real Estate website.

And yes, somehow I lost the focus, or don’t have focus or should have more focus. But if you try to find people to cooperate with and you can’t find them for one project then you might want to try something else, wouldn’t you? And yes, you might also want to try to do it alone, but that’s not easy as sometimes it’s just too much work and sometimes it’s just too lonely. And today I wrote in my Dutch post that I have the feeling I do so much, often more than the average person. Like I try to fulfill my promises to other people and even though I sometimes fail, I often feel so much left alone by other people who made promises to me and didn’t fulfill their promise, people who gave me hope and then just didn’t perform, didn’t do what they promised.

So I often wonder if I am that bad, if I also leave other people alone with the things I promised. But somewhere deep inside I feel like I’m doing more, trying more than the people that made promises to me.But it makes me insecure, because of course you never know those things.

So yes, I still want everything, still want success, still want to build this company and still want to rebuild The Malasag House and let it come alive again, but this time for the good, this time better, this time for real. But I have no clue how and I somehow also can hardly find that feeling place as so many things went wrong, so many things didn’t work out and so many things take so much effort to make them work or turn them around.

So yes, maybe this whole blog, this whole site is just me crying for help, crying for people to help me make all these things come true, crying for people who can see that leadership of ideas and hard work in me and are willing to go with me, for me.

You wanna help, wanna be part of those dreams? So much good can come out of all that, out of my dreams. So please let me know if you want to help, so I can also help you and help The Philippines and the Filipino people.

Improve the world…

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Help the poor

I bumped into the initiative of the Kalinga foundation a few days ago. And I sent them an e-mail as I still want to do something for the poor people in The Philippines. And I saw their focus is on helping children living on a garbage dump in Manila. And of course it’s a very good cause to help ‘poor children on a garbage dump’, but I think the economic problems in The Philippines go much deeper than just ‘people being poor’. The longer I am here, the more I realize there is a reason, there are reasons why The Philippines is poor, or at least why many people in The Philippines are poor. And those reasons go very deep, they go back to culture and upbringing and the resulting attitudes from that. And without changing that you can’t achieve any result in the reduction of poverty, as it’s the system, the culture that makes The Philippines, makes many people in The Philippines poor, even including me at the moment, but that’s just incidental, I’m just a sample. And maybe the statements I am making now are just the reason why I’m here, why I am in this situation I am right now, this situation also of poverty which I don’t like, even though I don’t really lead a life in poverty as I still have enough to eat and to drink and still have a decent house to live in and still take my daily hot shower. But yes, I feel poor and basically I am poor, as I still have some capital left in the form of the capital invested in the house, but related to day-to-day living I am poor as I don’t earn enough to sustain myself and my partner and I ended up in quite some substantial debts, even though those debts are smaller than the capital still present in the form of the value of the house.

So related to all those poor people I see all around me and all over The Philippines I am thinking more and more in terms of what I would tell myself to get myself going again, to get out of poverty. And I still didn’t find the answer to that as I basically lost hope to find a decent income, to find customers or even to find a job.

What I want and need

So maybe let’s go from there. What would I need to get me moving again, moving in a direction that would lead me to a higher income. Or what circumstances would need to change in order to give me hope again, make me move again. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still moving somehow, but somehow I also lost all hope of finding customers again, a sufficient number of customers to work forty hours a week or so and at least go back to a financial level where I can sustain myself and my partner and start paying back my financial debts.

So what would make me move again right now? Well, just customers finding me I guess. Customers wanting and needing my services, wanting and needing the stuff that I have built over time and use that to build websites and web applications. And no, not the other way around, because I have no clue on how to find customers. I tried many things and it just doesn’t seem to be my thing. And following from that I would also be inspired by someone believing in my skills, in the services and products I can offer, believing that much that he or she would sell my services and products to customers.

Alternative would be people enjoying to stay in The Malasag House and paying for it. Paying guests, although I might have trouble with my partner in that, but if people would be really interested staying here, staying with me, enjoying the house, enjoying my company, yes, that would also give me hope, inspire me.

And next step would be to find people who I can rebuild the company with, rebuild Active Discovery Designs with. People who want to be part of a professional ‘anything internet’ company. People who would enjoy learning from me and at the same time enjoying producing quality products for customers or doing other office work in a nice, efficient way.

And then, yes then, I would be able to think further again. Enjoy my own life again with a nice car and some holiday and indeed giving to the poor, giving back to the world. So sound simple, isn’t it? I just need other people needing me, needing my services, needing what I have to offer.

System changes needed

Ah, but I forget something here, something that came into my mind earlier. There are some things in the system, in the culture that are really annoying and are really blocking progress in The Philippines. Recent sample is that I found out that one of our internet providers is limiting our connection to something like half the speed with service interruptions for every second half of the month. And compared to other countries internet speed is already very slow. And internet is already very expensive. And that’s where somehow the culture, the government, isn’t able to make sure that systems, that companies work efficiently, at least not compared to at least the Western countries, the Western world. And those type of things are everywhere and they are very annoying and are taking away huge amounts of initiative and energy of people and of companies. So yes, if anything is to change, also something needs to change in the government, as somehow these things go back to how the country is government. But I’m not sure. It might as well be the culture, the system, the way how things work here, the way how things are done.

Start for the poor

So where to start when looking at ‘the poor people’, the people on the other side of the road (yes, on the other side of the road of where my house is there is a very poor community). Or indeed the children on the garbage dump that the Kalinga foundation is trying to help. Maybe the first thing they would need is indeed something like food and other daily needs, the things I still have, the things I don’t worry too much about. But I guess the next thing they would need would also be something like the feeling to be needed, the feeling of doing something useful. So maybe the first thing would be to just ask them what are their dreams, ask them what they want in life. Do they want to be a truck driver or a Jeepney driver? Or maybe an artist? Or a sailor or a ships captain? Or a pilot? Or a government employee, president of The Philippines of president of the United States?

Help the world

Well, maybe just discuss this with the people of the Kalinga foundation. Maybe we can find some answers there and maybe those answers would lead to solutions, for The Philippines and/or for the people in The Philippines. Or maybe even solutions for the world and all people in the world.

Because in the end I guess we all want the same: be needed, feel needed. Of course after our basic needs are met.

Living in the now

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Motorstar Hawk II
I woke up very late with a terrible mood and I couldn’t really figure out why as I drank only one drink with alcohol last night and had water and some coke after only. And it meant that I might not be able to fetch our motorcycle that had been in the shop again for a week as I did not find the time to pick it up as it might not have been repaired. Or actually I was just scared going there, as last time they didn’t want to help me anymore because they don’t know what to do as this motorcycle has some weird quirks and actually just needs to be replaced.

So while walking down many, mostly negative, thoughts entered my mind, worries about my debts, worries about not having enough work, and related to that not having enough money and all those bad things that might happen when I would face my motorcycle troubles and the staff in the motorcycle shop.

And suddenly I realized that I was walking down this beautiful road in a beautiful environment with trees all around me, an environment that I always imagined, but would be impossible in The Netherlands as that type of forest does not really exist anymore. And I realize just now that I always imagined a house in the forest and that I have that now, something impossible before. So again, be careful what you wish for, because mostly you’ll get it. Of course I didn’t imagine the troubles and the debts I am experiencing lately, but still, while writing this I realize that I indeed often am not grateful for the things that came to me, the things I wanted and that appeared to be impossible.

And also someone told me a few days ago how beautiful this location is and said she would miss it a lot and yes, I often forget that as I’m mostly think of the troubles and the hassle it is as of the moment to keep the place. But as I often tell myself also lately, I’m still here, and that’s still something, no matter the way how I do it or the price I and maybe some other people are paying. And maybe that’s also the thing Napoleon Hill mentions: there is no such thing as having something for nothing. So yes, I should be and can be very grateful for where I am and that I’m still living a very luxury life even though it is not as luxury as I was used to and I think I deserve and am worth of.

So while walking down with thinking a lot of worry type thoughts I suddenly realized (again) that I was walking down this beautiful road with a lot of trees and beautiful nature around and that most people, maybe even 99.99% or more of all people in the world would be really jealous being able to be where I was and what I could experience. And also now, I’m working at one of the most beautiful locations in the world with a view that is so stunning that most people would never even see that in a lifetime. And I’m just here and often don’t even see it, let alone enjoy it.

And I’m trying to make some kind of comprehensive post out of this, but my mind keeps on wandering to all kinds of related things, like recently I decided to spend the money for new contact lenses, which according to all common rules I grew up with actually can’t afford. But they make the world so much clearer, like right now I can see the view clearly and it is so beautiful and peaceful and yes, it’s all there for me now, for me alone, as no one else can experience this view right now as our house is in a very special location where the view is just different from any other location I know, even nearby locations.

And that’s also what bothers me, as I like to share the view, share the house, but somehow until now that never happened as I had in mind, at least not in recent years. And yes, this Christmas was fantastic with the family of my partner visiting and some friends visiting, all of course enjoying the house and the view. But the house is kind of falling apart and until now I didn’t find any way how to stop that, as we just can’t afford the repairs, basically no repairs at all. And it’s also sad to see we don’t have enough beds and stuff, and I realized this Christmas also not enough plates and other kitchenware to receive people in a decent, worthy way. But the other side is that as far as I know nobody has been paying anything in money, meaning that most of the food and the coffee and the drinks were paid by us, paid by money we have borrowed. And that doesn’t make it easy, to know that you are more in trouble next week as your debt has increased again, where you know you can’t even pay the principal amount, let alone all the interest that is building up and building up. So I have been trying to focus on the ‘giving’ on trying to not let the people know too much hat’s going on, not let the people know in how deep shit I am. But it’s not easy and somehow it’s eating me from the inside, as I don’t know where to go, don’t know where to find the money, don’t know where to find a job or jobs. And yes, this is still about ‘living in the now’, the title I started this post with. Because for the last one and half year or so I have been living from day to day, something like ‘living in the now’, even though I know that’s not exactly the same.

And that is also what I was thinking while walking down, like living in the now, living from day to day sounds nice, but somehow there is also more, there is also ‘future’, where ‘future’ is partly or fully defined by decisions I am making right now.

And I also know I wrote about this same subject recently, living in the now. And I don’t remember what I wrote there, but it may have been similar to what I’m writing right now. But yes, right now, there is nothing but writing here, enjoying the view, enjoying where and who I am and there is no use in thinking about money or debt or getting (more) money or getting out of debt or having a car or having my holiday to Bali that is one of my dreams right now. And that is something I experienced earlier and I think I also wrote about that. That right now, NOW, I don’t need anything. Right now there is plenty of everything I could want or need, even more, much more than I need right now and the rest of the day and even tomorrow and probably next week or even next month. As I don’t plan to go anywhere today or tomorrow, so I don’t need a car or any other transportation. There is food in the house, and drinks. Even junk food and ‘junk’ drinks. So more than a human would ever need. And there is this beautiful view and the equipment I’m using to write this post. There is electricity and internet, even more, much more than I need right now. And yes, there are also many things NOT here right now, many things I want and maybe even need. But right, now, there is nothing not available that I would need, today or tomorrow. There is even much more than I would ever need today or tomorrow.

So yes, that’s living in the now and of course that makes me very happy.